a not-so-welcome first

Baby Theo, 7 1/2 months old, has his first cold.  And it’s complete with runny nose, congestion, and clinginess.  I guess he isn’t coughing…yet…which is a good thing.  Anyway, I also have my first cold in about 2 years.  I was hoping pregnancy or motherhood somehow cured me of silly contagious illnesses so that I could be super-mom and not get slowed down by this kind of nonsense, but no.  ‘Course not. 

Of course I blame myself because I am no longer breastfeeding.  Well, technically I am, but baaaaarely.  And by barely, I’m talking about once every other day.  I’m not pumping at work anymore.  And when I do pump or nurse, it’s not that I feel like I need to.  At this point, I know that my milk supply is not coming back.  The thing is, I don’t really want to give up nursing.  Ever since we figured out that Theo was waking up in the night because he was hungry, we have been supplementing with formula.  It started out with one bottle a day and less than 2 months later, I am down to nursing him once a day or every other day.  And I know he’s not getting much becuse when I do pump, I’m getting like 2-3 ounces.  For a whole day (or two).  That’s pitiful. 

We still like to do it for the bonding time but I’m sure it is coming to an end very, very soon.  I guess there are things I could have done to prolong the death of my milk supply, but I wasn’t up for the fight.  Fenugreek, mother’s tea, drinking 86 glasses of water a day, etc.  I am happy and proud that my baby was exclusively fed breastmilk until 6 months and continues to be fed some breastmilk at nearly 8 months. I just wish I felt like I’d had more control or choice over when it ended.  It’s sad, much sadder than I thought it would be. 

On the other hand, he gained a little over a pound in a month and is fitting into clothes that are the size he is supposed to be fitting into now.  That’s a good thing, right? Over the summer, he was almost 6 months old wearing 0-3 month shorts.  Now he’s in most of his 6-9 months stuff, even some of the 6-12 and 12 month shirts.  He’s just right.

And he’s cute.  And I love him.  That is all.

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