Month: December 2010

surgery update

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

The surgery was last Friday and it went off without a hitch. 

I had to be at the doctor’s office at 8:30am so they could insert the wire to direct the surgeon to the rolly little tumor ball.  I was a wee bit nervous about that, but it was a breeze.  We were to the hospital shortly after 9:30am. 

The hospital, or “surgery center” was really nice.  There was a waiting area, like at a doctor’s office, but there was a big long row of complimentary fountain drinks and snack machines (not that I could enjoy anything from them, but R definitely appreciated it).  I was worried that he’d be bored out of his mind, having to sit there for 3 or 4 hours but he was allowed to come right back with me.  It was a decent sized room with a television.  I was glad to have the company of my Boo, because let’s face it, I was getting really nervous.  At the same time, I was really sleepy after not being able to sleep the night before so I snoozed off and on for the couple of hours between checking in and the actual procedure.  No complaints so far.

One thing I didn’t consider, for whatever reason, was that I would have an IV.  (Duh).  I knew I’d be under anesthesia, but having never had surgery before, I assumed that they’d administer it via one of those gas masky thingies.  I didn’t even think about the fact that I’d have antibiotics via IV as well.  So I’m lying in the hospital bed in our holding cell, er, room, and in comes the nurse saying she’s going to put my IV in. 

My whutdidyoujustsay?

I had an IV when I had Theo and I was super scared about it.  I remembered that it was no big deal and that my L&D nurse put the IV in so smoothly that I barely felt it.  I took a deep breath and reassured myself that this experience would be just the same.  No.  It hurt going in.  Bad.  And the crazy thing was that while the one nurse was putting in the IV, another nurse or patient liaison or whatever she was was standing on the other side of me, telling me about my after-care and about all these consents I was going to sign as soon as my IV was in.  I’m sure the point was to distract me, but what do they think I am? Some kind of idiot? 

I only halfway paid attention to her and it was really hard to look at the dumb papers she was holding in front of me while my eyes were full of tears because my arm hurt so bad.  But honestly, that was the most painful part of the whole thing.  Shortly after 11:30, they wheeled me back to the OR and much to my surprise, it looked a lot like the ones you see on television.  It was all white and very bright and there were lots of people running around all scrubbed up.  I also noticed that it was approximately 22 degrees in there. 

While I was lying there, the anesthesiologist I had just met about 10 minutes earlier said he was starting my anesthesia.  I remember that I was awake and then I wasn’t.  There was no inbetween.  I woke up and there was a blue paper over my face.  At first I thought “OH GOD! I’m not supposed to be awake!”  I was too out of it to move my arms so I just moved my head back and forth a couple of times and someone eventually moved the blue thingy off my face and said that everything went perfectly.  What? You’re done already? Sweet.

A minute or two later I was back in my room with my hubby and I could not stay awake.  We were there in recovery for another hour and a half.  Most of that time we were waiting for L&D to come down and check the fetal heart tones, which were perfect.  We left the hospital, picked up my pain meds, and went home. 

My wonderful, sweet husband took good care of me and our baby boy.  I slept a LOT over the weekend.  Ridiculous amounts.  It felt so good.  Hey, maybe it had something to do with the surgery, maybe it didn’t.  Either way, I had a good reason to sleep. 

I’m sure it did have something to do with the surgery…I slept from 3-8pm on Saturday, then went to bed at 2am, slept til 8am Sunday.  Then napped from 9-11am and again from 2-3pm.  I might have also “napped” from 3:30-7:30 Sunday.  I could not shake the exhaustion.  I was sad to miss an annual Christmas party on Saturday night that we always go to, but I was in no position to be socializing, baking goodies, carrying Theo around, etc.

The good, no, GREAT! news is that I barely needed my pain meds.  I took them Friday and Saturday and that was it.  The incision site has been sore and sure looks ugly but it hasn’t been terribly miserable.  It’s far better than an oral surgery I had a couple of years ago.  THAT was the worst.  Shew.  They are supposed to call me in “3 to 4 business days” with the pathology results and I will schedule my follow-up then.

And that is the very boring story of my first surgery. 

Healing well,
~C~

enough to make a mama cry, apparently

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

Maybe it’s because I was scared to death of the surgery I was scheduled to have the next day.  Maybe it’s because I’m 16 weeks pregnant and hormonal as can be.  Maybe it’s because I was going on 24 hours with no sleep.  Maybe it’s a combination of the three, but my baby’s doctor’s appointment made me cry Thursday.  All.  Day.  Thursday. 

The more likely scenario is that I’m a mama bear and more defensive and protective of my baby than I ever knew was possible.  It was the first time that anyone had the nerve to tell me to my face that my baby was anything but perfect.  Already, he’s being judged.  At NINE months old!

There’s a little checklist that you have to go through while you’re in the waiting room about what your baby is or isn’t doing.  Crawling was nowhere to be found on the list.  What was on the list though, was “pulling up to a standing position,” saying “mama” or “dada” on a regular basis, and “walking around furniture using one hand for balance.”  I didn’t check any of those because I’m not going to lie and he wasn’t doing any of those things.  There were only 2 or 3 things that I did check. 

Doc asks how things are going and I blurt out that everything is fabulous! He’s sleeping through the night routinely!  He’s eating a wonderful variety of table foods!  He almost never spits up!  He’s crawling!  He’s great at socializing with other babies and even strangers!

The doctor takes one look at the stupid checklist and says that there are a lot of things that I didn’t check off.  Duh.  Then immediately tells me that even dumb people eventually learn to walk and kick a ball so it’s a good thing that there aren’t signs of social and/or brain development delays.  That his delays are primarily physical/muscular and that we should have him EVALUATED to see if he needs physical therapy or perhaps if they can just provide us with some suggestions for things to work on at home.  I was utterly dumbfounded.  Completely speechless.  I felt my eyes stinging with tears and a knot building up in my throat.

He paused and asked me what I thought about getting him tested.  I said I didn’t know what to think, because it never occurred to me that there was a problem.  He says to me, “well, then, I guess it doesn’t feel very good to hear that there really might be some issues, does it?”  Excuse my language, but WHATTADICK.   

Like I said, I was in complete shock so I agreed to have him tested for a couple of reasons.  Not at all because I believe that my baby is stooooopid, but because I don’t want the doctor, who probably already thinks I’m a lazy mother, to think I don’t care.  (Why do I care what he thinks again?)  And partly because the tiniest part of me wonders if there is something wrong with my kid?  Is he really supposed to be doing all of this by now?  Does it make sense that it’s okay for him to start crawling at 9 months but it’s not okay that he hasn’t started doing all that other stuff?  Doesn’t it make sense that a baby would crawl over to a couch or coffee table before he pulled himself up on a couch or coffee table?  And doesn’t it make sense that a baby would pull himself up on the furniture before he started walking around it?

I was seriously confused, deflated, and offended.  I left the doctor’s office with the referral to have him tested in my hand and I think I started crying before we pulled out of the parking lot.  Every time anyone asked me how his appointment went, I burst into tears again.  I called my friend, who has a baby just 8 days younger than Theo and asked her what he was doing.  She told me that he’s doing every single thing that Theo’s not doing.  Every single thing that Theo’s supposed to be doing.  To me, it felt like every single thing Theo’s too dumb to be doing.  And J- if you’re reading this, don’t worry, I wasn’t upset with you or D for a second!

Everyone I talked to that afternoon tried to be uplifting and reassuring that Theo was right where he was supposed to be and that he was not “slow,” dumb, or delayed.  It didn’t take away the senselessly hearbroken feelings that I had.

Later in the afternoon, I sat down to look at the brochure from the place that the dumb doc referred us to.  Can I please read this to you?  No, because this is a blog.  Crap.  Well, you’ll have to read this for yourself.

6-9 months Milestones/Activities:
– creeps or crawls on hands/knees (check)
– moves toys from hand to hand (check)
– plays peek-a-boo (check)
– balances self while sitting (check)

6-9 months Possible Concerns (all of these are old news):
 – not accepting spoon feeding
 – not reaching or grabbing for objects
 – not turning head to locate sounds
 – not babbling and laughing out loud

9-12 months Milestones/Activities
– Pulls to a stand (working on this)
– Picks up small objects/finger feeds (has done this for MONTHS)
– Walks with one hand held (nope, not even close yet)
– Waves bye-bye (not yet)

9-12 months Possible Concerns:
 – not imitating simple sounds (he does this)
 – not playing with parents/siblings (he does this)
 – not able to sit on own (has done this for months)
 – not crawling or creeping on ground (he’s doing this)

WTF?  So the doctor knows more about the milestones than the place that is supposed to evaluate him to see why he’s not reaching his milestones?  Because according to this place, he is exactly where he is supposed to be.  Maybe not a rocket scientist in baby terms, but at least average, for Pete’s sake. 

This weekend, just so you know, he pulled himself up and was found standing in his bed.  Pppfffffttttttt.  So I am still entertaining the idea of getting him tested just for the pleasure and satisfaction of making the doctor look stoooopid.  Then, maybe it’s time for a new doctor.  Am I crazy and being totally irrational? 

On a lighter note, he weighed 18.05 lbs and was 28 inches long.  He gained 2 pounds since his 6 month check up.  At this rate, I’m wondering if he’s going to make it to the typical one-year weight, which is 3 times a baby’s birthweight (he weighed 7lbs 1.5 oz at birth so if that theory’s correct, he should weigh approx. 21 lbs 4.5oz at 12 months).  Something else we’ve screwed up on, no doubt.

Still mad,
~C~

16 week check-up check in

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

It was uneventful, just as I predicted.  Not that I’m complaining.  We actually got in and out quite fast, but the doctor simply listened to the heart beat, which was a little tough to find at first.  It gave me a bit of a panic because I’ve known too many people who have lost babies recently.  Every time I go to the doctor, part of me is expecting to receive bad news.  I think it gets better as I get further into the pregnancy.  The little tiny heart was beating 140ish times per minute, which is perfectly lovely. 

She asked if we would find out what we are having and we said we plan to maintain the suprise element throughout the entire pregnancy, meaning that this little one’s gender won’t be revealed until delivery day.  She was excited and happy for us, saying that she didn’t find out with either of her children and that it’s one of life’s greatest mysteries and surprises.  She likes that her daughter (4 weeks older than Theo and 20 months younger than her big brother) wears her older brother’s blue shirts and bibs with tools on them all the time.  Blue is flattering on girls, right?  Who cares if people sometimes think she’s a boy…it’s no worse than people constantly telling us that Theo should have been a girl with those big eyes and all that hair.  And if she‘s a he, then we’re all set.
 
Anyway, she said we could come back in 2 weeks to do the fetal anatomy ultrasound, but I’d have to come back 2 weeks later anyway to see her, so we decided to do it all at the same time.  No rush since we aren’t finding out the gender this time.  We go back the first week of January.

Oh, she also reminded me that last time we talked about how the c-section is an option and that if I didn’t choose to go with a c-section, I would be induced early.  Like I could forget, duh. I didn’t really respond.  Nothing can be decided until I get further along into the pregnancy anyway.

Oh, and total weight gain so far: 1.6 lbs.  And that, my friends, is the 16 week check-up check in.

~C~