weigh to stay: 5 months in

If you’ve been keeping up with my blog, you know that I have been on a mission to lose some dreaded L-Bs since the beginning of the year.

Recap so far:
1 month report Feb 2013
2 month report Mar 2013
3 month report Apr 2013
4 month report May 2013

I’m happy to report that I have met and exceeded my goal…for now.  I know it’s really negative to add that “for now,” but let me explain.  Before I get too sidetracked though, my goal was to lose 20-24 pounds then remain within that range. As of today, I’ve lost 25.8 pounds.  I’m staying right around that thus far and very happy about it.  That’s not to say that there isn’t still work to be done, but as far as my weight is concerned, I’m comfortable with it now.  HURRAH.  Considering I hated walking past a mirror 6 months ago, this is a pretty big accomplishment.

Now, back to that “for now.”  As happy as I am about my success losing the weight, I’m equally as afraid of just packing it right back on.  I love food.  Love it.  Especially food that is not good for me. Love chocolate and cookies and ice cream and that and that and that.  Love comfort food.  Cheesy, warm, melty, gooey.  All those things. I have not cut those things out of my life and I never will.  It’s all about moderation and portion control, I fully understand that.  I will never do a crazy diet that I can’t keep up with after the weight is gone.  For me, it’s as simple as diet and exercise. Portion control and self-control.  But my larger me would just help herself to second (and third) helpings of whatever was tasting good.

At this point, I have been exercising pretty regularly. This is a beautiful thing for a couple of reasons. Not only is it good for my body, it’s good for my mind. It feels good to let off some steam in a healthy way.  I’d been slacking off for a few days and come home from work one night earlier this week just exhausted. I laid on the couch and told the kids to bring their toys and books to me when they asked to play or read with me.  The whole night, I felt so incredibly lazy, guilty, and truthfully just gross.  I remember sitting laying on the couch thinking, “well this sucks.  This is how I felt every night when I was not exercising.”  Ryan mentioned that it was nice outside and somehow I found the energy to get up off the couch and go for a 2 mile run.  Nothing too crazy, but I can’t even explain how much better I felt. I had more energy at 8pm than I’d had the entire day and wasted an entire night being lazy with my kids. Being exactly the mom I did not want to be. 

When I stay active, my energy level remains higher and I AM more active, whether I am exercising or playing with my kids.  When I make a point to stay active, I want to move around, which burns more calories and keeps my metabolism elevated.  I don’t ever want to feel that way every single night again. 

The problem is that I get comfortable. I’ll think that my metabolism is higher so I can afford to enjoy that order of fries that I should avoid. Or I will think that I deserve that DQ blizzard at 10pm.  Like I said before, I refuse to cut those things out of my life completely, but the kind of trouble that I’m talking about creeps up on me in the form of fries one night, ice cream the next, then cookies for lunch the next day, and on and on and on. Until I am right back in the habit of making bad choices.

Losing weight has never really been the problem once I set my mind to it.  It’s always been keeping the weight off, staying active, and maintaining that elevated energy and metabolic level.  So far, so good.  I might need some encouragement along the way to keep up at this point.  My goal starting out was of course to be healthier and more active as a whole, but in tangible terms, I wanted to be able to wear shorts when we go to Disney in October and not be ashamed of my legs. Wear a swimsuit at the resort pool and not be trying to constantly cover myself up out of embarrassment.  Well, I’m wearing shorts.  That bathing suit thing will take some work. 

Time to start some strength training and stop relying on running alone for exercise.