Catch the Moment: Week 16

I love this project. I love it. Sometimes I can’t stand it because I don’t feel like taking pictures. A lot of times I look through my camera and think my pictures suck. Sometimes I get down about my life because we’re too busy or things are confusing or complicated or whatever…I’m learning that all of these adjectives are normal descriptions of life. But, lots of times I put this post together and realize that even though life is busy and stressful, it’s normal and simple and wonderful because the little moments in between the madness make it that way. This project reminds me every week that this life is good. I am lucky to live it.

Linking up with Mindi at Stavish Stills Photography, Carrie at My Life, Our Journey, and Stephanie at Behind the Camera and Dreaming.

106/365: Thursday, April 16th. Suckers for dessert and Batman footie pajamas and his day was made. 04-16-2015

107/365: Friday, April 17th. A pretty day at the park with my boys and my day was made. Perfect ending to the work week. We checked out a summer camp that we LOVED, got slushies from Dairy Queen, and played at the park til dinner time. Bliss.04-17-2015

108/365: Saturday, April 18th. The day the boys had been waiting for… their cousin Spencer’s birthday celebration in Ohio. We had a great time hanging out with family and celebrating a decade of Spence.04-18-2015

109/365: Sunday, April 19th. Our good luck with the weather ran out and we had a very soggy Sunday while heading home from Cincinnati. Didn’t stop Dexter from wearing his shades.04-19-2015

110/365: Monday, April 20th. The boys requested watercolors for their after-school activity while I prepared dinner. Sounds good to me!04-20-2015

111/365: Tuesday, April 21st. The biggest, prettiest, juiciest strawberries I’ve seen since last year. Summer’s coming, y’all!04-21-2015

112/365: Wednesday, April 22nd. Finally…the day I had been dreading. Kindergarten registration. I have been able to live in denial that my first born is no longer a baby but that dream kind of died today when we registered him for school. He is not apprehensive at all and I have full confidence in his academic ability. I’m glad he’s excited. It’s definitely a new phase, a big transition. I have a lot of mixed emotions about it, as with any big milestone. It’s bittersweet being a parent sometimes. Okay, like 90% of the time. It’s impossible not to be happy for him – his excitement is contagious.04-22-2015Scrolling through these photos makes me smile over and over. I am already looking forward to making my Catch the Moment 2015 photo book at the end of the year. 🙂

xo,

~C~

balancing act

So I mentioned a couple posts back that I was really struggling to find balance in my life. I started this year with a few goals. One of them was that I was going to break free from running. Running and only running had tied me down and pinned me in. I had a big running resolution in 2014 that I couldn’t meet for many reasons (including weeks and months where no motivation was present) but a major one that derailed me more than once was injury. My knees are horrible to begin with but something happened to my foot in November that quickly ended my running for most of the remainder of the year.

I still run but I also decided to try new things. Yoga. Pilates. Zumba. Cycling. Water Fitness. Interval Training. Turbo Kick.  And I have tried all these new things except for Turbo Kick because frankly I’m scared to death. But I will. Eventually. I have learned that exercise SHOULD be fun. It should be something to look forward to and not dread, as I felt many times before. Something that I can’t miss, not something that I can be easily talked out of doing.

Good news: All of these classes are offered for free at the YMCA. Bad news: Class times that I am able to make are at the worst times. There’s childcare available, but my kids have gone from tolerating it to hating it. {The last time I took them, Theo said it smelled like a huge poopy diaper in there and he was never going back. True, it did smell like a huge poopy diaper when I picked them up.} Now that Theo’s 5, he would go to the next age group which would mean Dexter would be left all alone in the stinky baby room. I can’t do that to them. So, I can only go when Ryan is home. Which means a few things: 1. Ryan and I can never exercise together. 2. Every time I go to a class, I am missing out on family time. 3. The more time I spend away from home at the gym, the less convenient it is for Ryan to also get a workout in.

It sucks. Number 2 is the big doozy for me. I would love to work out with Ryan but the main reason I’ve been struggling with balance lately is because I LOVE my classes. I love going to the gym. I look forward to the physical strength I feel and challenging myself through difficult moves. Depending on the day, I might see my kids for 2-4 hours on a weeknight. They are still asleep when I leave the 2 mornings that Ryan takes them to school. To be gone for an hour and a half or more on a day when I barely see them to begin with flat out sucks. Ryan is doing the majority of the care for the children on these days, such as bathing and putting them to bed, but he’s also playing games and reading them bedtime stories while I’m away. One night last week I put on my pajamas before I cooked dinner and Theo practically shouted with glee, “Mommy! You’re not going to exercise tonight!?” When I told him I was staying home, he jumped up and down and ran and told his brother that mommy wasn’t going anywhere.

OUCH.

I have been feeling that way too – guilty – but hearing him say it just made me want to puke. I feel like I’ve been selfish, but have I really? I found workouts that I LOVE and look forward to. I feel strong. I don’t want to stop going to my classes. In fact, I wish I could go to more but that’s not realistic or fair to my family. I wish I could find more time in the day. I have been feeling a little bit better about it this week because I have been making a conscious effort to spend more quality time with the boys while we’re together. I included them in my many chores over the weekend and they actually helped. We played together and we worked together. I took the time to sit on the couch and watch a whole movie with them instead of taking advantage of the opportunity to get things done while they were distracted. Dexter sat on my lap and Theo laid his head on my arm. I have been missing out on something that I didn’t even know I was missing. Not only because I’m gone too much but because it’s right there and I haven’t been making it a priority.

I can justify 2 weeknights at the gym (2 nights that I don’t put my kids to bed or spend quality time with them) for the betterment of myself and indirectly, my family. But what if I want to take a 3rd class? Or a friend asks me to dinner one week and a different set of girls are getting together 2 weeks later. Then there’s a team dinner or a fundraiser the next 2 weeks. Then a haircut appointment the following week that’s going to take 2 hours. All of the sudden, I’m very overwhelmed. If I don’t give up my 2 weeknight workouts, I’ll end up being gone 3-4 nights a week every week. It’s just way too much. Time is flying and I don’t want to regret being gone more than I was home when I look back one day. I guess I’m struggling the most with not wanting to miss out on time with my family but not giving up everything else that I enjoy. I don’t want to lose out on friendships because I always say “no,” but I know I can’t say “yes” every time either.

So what I really need is to add about 6 hours to every weekday – I guess I could give up sleep but I’m not sure my friends or kids would want to hang out at 3am. The gym isn’t open and neither is my work. I know it’s a good problem to have, if there is such a thing. It’s great that I have friends and family and my health. Quitting my job is not an option. So how can I have it all without sacrificing myself? Is that even a thing?  I will keep trying to make more of an effort to be present, and really present, when I am home with my guys. I will say no sometimes. But not every time. And I will probably keep feeling guilty for not being at any one place as often as I wish.

xo,

~C~

catch the moment: wk 15

It’s been a good week! Busy, but good. Seems like all of the sudden lots of appointments, plans, and obligations popped up out of nowhere and they are keeping us running from one place to the next. It’s going to be like that for the next couple of weeks so we’ll just roll with it. Thank goodness for Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday huh? We really recharged this past weekend. We had beautiful weather, accomplished a lot at home, spent good family time together, and went into Monday ready to face the week. Now? Well…I’m looking forward to the weekend again.

Linking up with Mindi at Stavish Stills Photography, Carrie at My Life, Our Journey, and Stephanie at Behind the Camera and Dreaming.

099/365: Thursday, April 9th. Our monthly moms-night-out dates have gotten a little more sporadic, but Angie and I still make a point to get together for dinner when our schedules allow. Thunderstorms were predicted but we ended up with a gorgeous warm night with clear skies. We enjoyed a long talk at dinner and a long walk afterwards. 04-09-2015

100/365: Friday, April 10th. Dexter Jay was not impressed by the dryers at the car wash. He requested that we never, ever go through the car wash again. Anyone else’s kid terrified of loud noises? Diesel trucks…hand dryers…automatically flushing toilets…hope he grows out of this soon.04-10-2015

101/365: Saturday, April 11th. One of the tasks on my to-do list (that I was actually looking forward to) Saturday was to add up all the money in our Disney savings jar. After just a little over 6 months, I was excited to find out that we’d saved almost $300 (okay a good bit of it was generously donated – thank you, friends and family). We’ll use this money for snacks and souvenirs. It may not go too far at Disney World when we’re there in a few weeks, but every little bit helps!04-11-2015

102/365: Sunday, April 12th. Loungin’ around in the evening after bathtime. We spent a lot of time outside playing and working and eating and exploring …as the weekend was winding down I felt a little sense of desperation. It was SUCH a nice weekend at home and I didn’t want it to end. I’d really been missing my kids during the work week and they were super fantastic to be around all weekend (which we all know isn’t always the case with 3 and 5 year olds). It was just what I needed.04-12-2015

103/365: Monday, April 13th. Indiana knows sunrises. And sunsets.04-13-2015

104/365: Tuesday, April 14th. After school Lego play time. 04-14-2015

105/365: Wednesday, April 15th. (Happy Tax Day!) We actually received these last Friday but I didn’t get around to taking a picture of them with my DSLR that day. The boys were so excited. We talked about what the MagicBands were for. We are definitely counting down the days until we return to Walt Disney World. And does anyone else in the world have a 5 year old child who requests gray when given a variety of bright, fun colors to choose from? No? Just Theo. Okay…04-15-2015We are enjoying this time of year and looking forward to vacation. Current drama…our childcare plan for the summer fell through so we are currently in the middle of trying to figure out (AGAIN) what we will do. I’m actually not freaking out too hard, surprisingly enough. I know it will work out. I don’t necessarily believe that things happen for a reason, but I do believe that sometimes things work out the way they do for the best. Hopefully I’ll be able to cross this big question mark off my list soon.

Which photo is your favorite? None of them are amazing but I like them all because they represent a good week. A solid, good week in 2015. I’ll take more of those, please.

xo,

~C~