I’m still here.

Wow, I have fallen way off of the blogging bandwagon and I’ve missed two years worth of birthday posts now for the boys. And each year I thought to myself, I need to do that. Then the birthdays fly by and afterwards, I tell myself, it’s not too late to do that. But here we are, I haven’t blogged since Dexter’s seventh birthday and now he’s nine. Oh my, how the world has changed in just two years.

I’ve thought about writing lots of things on lots of occasions but the time, energy, and/or motivation it takes has held me back. The moments, days, weeks, months, and years seem to be going by at lightning speed these days. Good intentions fade into “I’ll do it next year” and then next year comes and goes too.

We’ve taken lots of trips that were only documented on Instagram or Facebook. I miss recounting my memories here because rereading the words evoke feelings that would otherwise become lost. In 2019 we visited Asheville, NC for fall break and Walt Disney World from May 29-June 7. In 2018, Ryan and I went on a dream adults only cruise with our friends Brock and Ashly to the southern Caribbean. We also celebrated my in-laws 50th anniversary in Panama City Beach over the summer and took the boys to Chicago over Spring Break. We went camping, we visited friends and family in Tennessee and Ohio.

We made new friends and lost a few old ones. We worked hard at our jobs, and we have worked on the house. The kids have gone from babies to preschoolers to school aged kids who now only have 1 and 2 years left in elementary, respectively. I don’t know where the time is going, but I know it’s all one big blur. I don’t ever use my DSLR anymore, regrettably. I’m afraid I’ve forgotten how to and that alone stops me from even getting it out.

There’s a crazy virus that has changed the world. There’s a crazy man in office and his words and actions (and the subsequent reactions from his followers) have shone a light on much of our country’s dark troubles, but in times of trouble I still believe that there is good and there is hope for a better future.

My baby niece isn’t a baby; she’s 18 (and a half) and she finished high school. I was there when she was born. I was one of the first people in the world to see her face and now she’s so grown up.

My heart is happy, my heart hurts. I’m content, I’m itching for change. Ready for an inner growth. I know who I am and what I want sometimes and other days I feel like I’m wandering into middle school again for the first time, lost and scared. Maybe I’ll try to go through old pictures soon and post some updates that I can look back at later. I don’t know, I don’t know.

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