Category Archives: 2014 resolutions

a 2014 weight/fitness resolution check-in

I had big dreams for 2014.  Big dreams for myself in 2014.  I got on a roll with running in 2013 and completed Couch to 5k. Running had always scared me because of my less-than-stellar knees.  No, I didn’t play sports…no I didn’t have a car accident or an injury. I just inherited really crappy knees.
So I was surprised that the more I ran, the less they bothered me.  Maybe getting 25 pounds off was what helped my knees.  Who knows.  I learned to like running. I won’t say I loved it. I kind of hate it during but love the feeling of accomplishment afterwards. It’s euphoria when I am able to push myself to meet or surpass a goal. I’m not and don’t ever plan to be a long distance runner. The furthest I’ve ever ran continuously is three and a half miles.  I was completely okay with that distance, but I wanted to just be consistently getting good, challenging exercise.
For 2014, I planned to run 25 miles per month or a total of 300 miles this year.  Unfortunately, in the first 6 weeks of 2014, I also experienced some unplanned obstacles. Like 2 separate stomach bugs, the flu, and 2 separate rounds of strep throat.  I ran 15 miles in during the month of January somehow but obviously fell short of the 25 mile goal I needed to hit to stay on track for running 300 miles for the year.
February rolled around and I ran again but there was trouble. Not far into my run, I had a debilitating pain in my left knee.  I tried to walk it off and run again but the pain got worse. Nothing popped or snapped, I never knew where the pain was coming from or why it was happening. I gave up after three attempts that day and decided to let my knee rest. That week, my knee hurt… all the time.  Standing up from my chair at work. Walking towards the back of the grocery store.  I was really worried. I continued to rest it. I ran once in March and it was a little better, but still hurt. 
By this point I was wondering if my running days were over. I was debating seeing an orthopedist but didn’t have much luck the last time I went to one. They wanted to do an MRI that would be $1800 out of pocket and we were in the middle of moving so I put it off and eventually my knees stopped bothering me as much. 
I fell in April, badly scraping both knees, which gave me another excuse not to run. About a week after the fall, I noticed that I hadn’t had any (internal) knee pain. I waited for another week for the scrapes to heal and could no longer resist the urge to run.  I was able to run over two miles and have been running off and on ever since then, but not with the consistency I would like.  Some days my knees hurt a little, some days they hurt a lot.  Occasionally…rarely, they don’t hurt at all.  
I’ve given up on my dream of running 300 miles this year – obviously – but I still like getting some exercise every day one way or another. Lately it’s been too humid for me to run. I’m just not that hardcore and it’s too hard to breathe.

My weight has crept up a little as I haven’t been watching what I eat as well as I used to. Well – I’m still watching. I’m still using MyFitnessPal to log calories and exercise daily.  I have just been eating a lot more of what I WANT than what I should.  My original goal was to lose 20-24 pounds and last year my weight loss hovered around 25-27 pounds.  I’m back to about a 21-22 pound loss, which is okay, but I liked 26 a whole lot better! 

So I’d love to hear any ideas people have about keeping motivation high long-term in order to keep the pounds AWAY long term.  Maintaining just isn’t as fun or rewarding as losing, ya know? Neither is gaining.  If anyone has had long-term success at keeping weight off, please feel free share your tips and secrets. It’s so easy to slip into old habits.

xo,
~C~

the connection

It all started on December 7, 2013.  After the circus.  I decided once and for all to get serious about not yelling at my kids. It doesn’t feel good. I love them and they need to know that, even when they aren’t acting very lovable.  Especially when they aren’t acting very lovable.

I vowed no more yelling.  Then I yelled on January 7th. Exactly one month later and just one short week into the year. I yelled on February 8th. Not as intensely, but the trick to knowing if it “counts” or not is if it feels bad.  Truthfully, it felt bad.

On March 2nd, I posted this on the Yell-Free Year Challenge group’s wall on Facebook:

I yelled on December 7th.
Then again on January 7th.
Then once more on February 8th.
I will make it more than one month.  I WILL make it more than one month.

I got so many supportive comments and such positive feedback for my success so far.  One person pointed out at this rate, that’s only 12 yells a year.  True, that doesn’t sound so bad, but my goal was zero. Someone else pointed out that in the last 3 months – 90 days – I had only yelled 3 days.  87 yell-free days. Good point.

I felt confident.  One of the last comments asked if my yelling was related to my PMS…hmm.  I looked at the dates again and noticed the pattern and shrugged, sure that it was merely coincidence and that I just had a 30 day tolerance limit before my head popped off.  One side effect of my birth control is irregular cycles and I’m terrible about tracking/remembering so I just assumed I was irregular. But maybe I need to pay more attention.

Because I started on March 8th.
And I yelled on March 9th.

The scene:  Theo was in time-out for talking back and telling us no repeatedly.  We were eating lunch and sitting 20 feet from time-out. He continued shouting and being disrespectful from time-out with the intention to push our buttons.  Job well done, because I reached my boiling point and bolted out of my chair and over to time out.  I squatted down, eye level with him and shouted “STOP IT!! Just STOP!!!!!”

I turned and walked back to my seat with shame in my heart and embarrassment on my face. Looked at Ryan and said, “I guess I can’t make it past 30 days.”  Then I remembered the question about my cycle and literally felt this connection happening between my mind and my body.

It hit me, maybe she was right. Maybe my tolerance is not thirty days, but maybe my tolerance is just lower while my hormones are out of whack.  Maybe the trick is getting a better handle on myself ahead of time. Preparing mentally for these situations might be the key.  I have to increase my ability to ignore toddler/pre-schooler behavior and be the bigger person.  I have to keep in mind that I cannot be disappointed in a 2 or 4 year old with out of control emotions when that is the very thing that I have modeled for them.  I have to remain calm when I am upset.  Or tired.  Or moody.

So I’ll say it again….and I will believe it again. Because I will try harder. Again.

I will make it more than 30 days.
I WILL make it more than 30 days.

Because don’t these two deserve the best me I can be?

xo,
~C~

struggle, struggle

Resolution Running: Fail.

I started off strong – what I mean by that is that I ran about 14 miles the first half of January. Then I was sick for six weeks with some sort of incapacitating illness or another including two stomach bugs, two rounds of strep, and the flu.  The one I got the flu shot for.  When I wasn’t sick (rare), my kids were. Or my husband was.  So there were two solid months of no running.  The last time that I ran in January, I didn’t make it very far before terrible knee pain struck and forced me to stop. I could  not run through it.

Since then, I’ve wanted to run. Some days my knee feels great. Other days, a sudden pain will take my breath away. At times, it hurts to walk.  It’s so random because literally, some days, it feels like nothing is wrong.  All along, I have felt the urge to run. I have the urge to push my body past where I think it can take me.  Now it is {finally} getting warmer out and I picture myself with nothing but my feet, my thoughts, and my iPod, running around the neighborhood.  I want to run.

I ran two weeks ago on the treadmill and only made it .8 miles before that debilitating knee pain was too much to take. I just started running a year ago. Is it possible that my running days are already over? If this was caused from an injury, wouldn’t the 6-8 week break be enough time for it to heal?

People have asked me about wearing a knee brace – I don’t know the first thing about it.  I went to the orthopedic doctor about my knee 2 years ago and he wanted me to have a $1500 MRI. It was in the middle of us selling our house and moving in with my in-laws so I never got it done. Then I lost 25 pounds, started running and didn’t have anymore knee trouble. Until January.  Maybe I need to go back to the doctor. This is a totally different pain/problem than what I had 2 years ago, but just as troublesome.

My goal of running 300 miles this year (25 miles a month) is definitely not going to happen. At this point, I just need to find something I enjoy doing that keeps me active. I’m dying to hike, but the weather hasn’t quite gotten there yet for taking the boys.  There aren’t a lot of super awesome hiking spots close by (nothing less than 30+ minutes) so it’s not like I’ll be doing that 3x or more per week anyway.

My weight is … okay. For now.  When I was sick, my weight loss reached 31 pounds (from when I started losing weight over a year ago). My original goal was to lose and stay within a 20-24 pound loss range. On average, I’ve maintained about a 25-26 pound weight loss.  I think since I was sick, I got in the habit of thinking I can eat whatever because it wouldn’t matter if I gained that 5 pounds back.  I’ve definitely gained that 5 pounds back but haven’t stepped on the scale in a bit because I don’t think I want to know if I’ve exceeded that.  I know I’m sort of okay, because my clothes still fit.  But I definitely don’t feel as healthy or energetic or lean as I do when I’m eating better and exercising regularly.

That’s what’s going on with my health/fitness goal right now…not the end of the world, but definitely not as positive of a report as I’d like to give.  I’m excited to go for lots of walks with (and without) the boys now that it’s getting warmer.  More outside time = less inactivity and less TV.

xo,
~C~