Category Archives: I’m sad

catch the moment: wk 52

I have such mixed feelings about not continuing this project into a third year. In fact, I haven’t taken a photo with my DSLR since New Year’s Eve. On one hand, it’s been liberating to not have that pic-of-the-day hovering over me but it feels wrong to not intentionally take a picture every day. While I love the finished product, the day to day and week to week obligation starts to take the fun out of it after so long. All in all, it’s been a great year. The time between Christmas and returning to work today has just flown by. We had company or were visiting my in-laws the entire time I was off and I loved the family time. My niece and nephew stayed with us for 4 extra days and it just made me realize how much I’m missing out on with them in Tennessee while I’m in Indiana. I always feel a little sad this time of year. The anticipation of the holiday is over – the Christmas decorations are not putting themselves away. All of the fat food I consumed is now consuming me and I’m mad at myself for having no self-control for the past 2 months. Cold weather and snow are surely on their way. We’ve got a couple of months (minimum) before sandal season returns (and my first baby turns 6??). Can we skip ahead to spring now please?

Gratitude puts you in a good mood, right? Let’s go there. I’m grateful to have a vacation towards the end of this year to look forward to. I’m glad to have a clean slate, starting fresh at the gym this year after finally slowing down on the kitchen remodeling that kept me away for the last couple of months. I’m thankful that the Bachelor is back on. Ha! I’m thankful to be able to have a job I like with great people. I am thankful for another year of good health with my husband and little boys. There, that feels better. Now I can move along.

358/365: Thursday, December 24th. Christmas Eve (and my mama’s birthday!). The gang’s all here…except Penelope was already asleep. The 4 big kids put out cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. 12-24-2015

359/365: Friday, December 25th. Christmas! Some of Dexter and Penelope’s favorite gifts. 12-25-2015

360/365: Saturday, December 26th. We made the short trip to Richmond to visit family and go to a Christmas dinner/baby shower at my uncle’s restaurant Hometown Dining Co. It was nice to see everyone. 12-26-2015

361/365: Sunday, December 27th. A lunch at Jagger’s before it was time for my mom, sister, brother-in-law, and little Penelope to go home. I hate that they live so far away and will always cherish the memories of this Christmas that they spent with us. 12-27-2015

362/365: Monday, December 28th. Ryan and I were off work the whole week. We took the kids to the Eiteljorg Museum to see the huge miniature train exhibit, Jingle Rails12-28-2015

363/365: Tuesday, December 29th. We took the kids to the YMCA for a little exercise and Dexter wanted to show off his new shirt that of course matched his boots. Lucky for him, it rained for about 5 days straight following Christmas. Not that it would have mattered, he’d have worn them anyway. He can be kind of adorable.12-29-2015

364/365: Wednesday, December 30th. A little shopping at the mall with this cool guy to get those Bath & Body Works deals for mom and some new jeans for dad. 12-30-2015

365/365: Thursday, December 31st. I drove Isabella and Malachi to Lexington to meet my brother-in-law and Penelope so he could take them on home then we went to Ryan’s mom and dad’s to celebrate Christmas with them. This sweet, 10 year old boy knew how much I loved one of his pieces from art camp this summer and recreated it for me to put in my kitchen. I was a split second from crying but held it together. My nephew Spencer is one talented artist and an awesome kid.12-31-2015

So, that’s it guys! The end of my journey with Catch the Moment 365…for now.

xo,

~C~

catch the moment: wk 40

Wait, did I just type week 40? How are there only 12 weeks left in 2015? This, I have to admit, has been a rather dull photo week. It’s been a weird, kinda sad, super stressful and odd week with some really great moments sprinkled in for good measure. I’m looking forward to things being better going further into fall and October. This is definitely one of the boys’ favorite time of year with Halloween coming up. They love checking out spooky decorations and picking out their costumes -which we’ve yet to do. Yikes! Running out of time and this month is getting ready to fly by for us.

274/365: Thursday, October 1st. Theo is getting interested in video games! He’d been asking about going bowling so I suggested letting him try it on the Wii. He loves it and he’s rather good at it! As a bonus, his victory dance is pretty cute.10-01-2015

275/365: Friday, October 2nd. We went to the local high school’s homecoming parade to show our school spirit and when I pulled my DSLR to snap a couple pictures of the festivities, I found out that my battery was dead. Boo. We talked about going to the football game but it was windy and started to sprinkle so we decided to go to the movies and see Hotel Transylvania 2 instead. It was weird to see the boys running around with other kids and hearing kids who are complete strangers to me calling Theo’s name and chasing after him. It was a great family night! Dexter sure does love his blue raspberry icees & popcorn at the movies. I snapped this picture on my phone.

10-02-2015

276/365: Saturday, October 3rd. A brief break in the middle of a day FULL of fighting. It was a weird, rough day. I knew I needed to go shopping for myself and for the boys. All week I had been looking forward to my day of shopping ALONE! But the whole 5 hours I was gone, I was rushing through the racks, checking the time, and feeling anxious and frustrated. I couldn’t find anything I really liked. I didn’t want to spend money. It was so cold and rainy outside and the mall was blazing hot inside so I was burning up, plus carrying crap. I didn’t have a stroller so every time I wanted to look at anything, I had to sit all my stuff down. It just felt like an ordeal. I was so looking forward to shopping alone and I felt nothing but loneliness. I needed a second opinion. I missed my kids (who were home fighting). I didn’t feel cute at all when I tried things on. I tried to buy stuff for the boys and every time I held something up, I questioned if they would like it and if it would fit. I am not looking forward to taking them clothes shopping but I guess that’s what we’re coming to. Once I got home I immediately felt relieved and at the same time, mad at myself for not being able to enjoy my time. I started cleaning and cooking and playing with the boys and instantly felt better. 10-03-2015

277/365: Sunday, October 4th. Sunday turned out to be a beautiful day here in central Indiana. A perfect day for open windows, sidewalk chalk in the driveway, the smell of fabric softener wafting through the windows from the vent in the basement, candles burning, food cooking, grocery shopping, and all that other good Sunday stuff. For my instagram #souperbowlsundays challenge this week I made Hot Eats & Cool Reads’ Beefy Tomato Macaroni Soup. It might be my favorite soup so far. Looks like chili but no beans and totally different flavors. Very tomato-y and hearty. The leftovers tasted even better than the night I made it.10-04-2015

278/365: Monday, October 5th. UGH-the start of a very busy, hectic, and stressful work week. It started off by rushing the boys to their pediatrician’s office at 8am for their Flu Mist vaccinations and ended with me working late. Ironically, this was the domino setup Ryan designed with the boys that night. Theo and Dexter just haven’t been getting along very well lately. 10-05-20156

279/365: Tuesday, October 6th. I took a brief brain break from work to meet my sweet friend and her even sweeter baby (if that’s possible) at our favorite local spot for lunch. Baby’s first trip to Ben’s! Ryan’s parents stopped by Tuesday night with some fall and Halloween decorations for me to look through and to visit. We ended up all going out to eat, which was nice. Unfortunately, Dexter woke up Tuesday super congested with watery eyes and a runny nose from that stupid Flu Mist. I forgot that it’s a live virus and that Dexter probably had a similar reaction last year. I’m thinking about making him do the shot next year. He was miserable by bedtime.10-06-2015

280/365: Wednesday, October 7th. Even when he’s feeling like crap, you can still get a smile out of him. His little face is raw from wiping his nose so much. His eyes had stopped watering but still congested and nose still runny. He insisted on wearing scary pajamas and wanted to read this souvenir Haunted Mansion book from our first trip to Walt Disney World.  UGH. This topic probably deserves its own post but to sum it up, it was a really hard parenting night for me on Wednesday. We had actually had a GREAT day. Both boys had their parent-teacher conferences by coincidence on Wednesday and both teacher had great things to say about Theo and Dexter. We were so proud. The evening and story time progressed into bedtime smoothly. For whatever reason, Theo made a bad choice. After their lights went out, Theo apparently tried to get Dexter in trouble by telling him to scream. Dexter refused and Theo threatened him with “if you don’t scream, I’m gonna hit you.” Dexter still didn’t scream, so Theo punched him in the nose.  I wasn’t in there but I imagine it wasn’t a light tap, but that Theo hit him as hard as his little fist could hit. I’m pretty devastated about it because it clearly was not impulsive – it was premeditated. He had time to make the right choice and he didn’t. Dexter didn’t retaliate and apparently didn’t try to get out of the way of Theo’s right hook. I know Theo’s only 5 but it breaks my heart. Dexter certainly doesn’t deserve to be treated that way and I can’t stand the thought of Theo becoming a bully. To Dexter or to anyone else. I cried my eyes out and texted my friends. The general consensus is that it’s partly normal brother / kid stuff but that it can’t be tolerated. We’ve had serious conversations with Theo and right now the consequence is going to be that Theo sleeps in the guest bedroom for a week or so until he can earn back our trust and show more respect for his brother.  I felt really sad about it all day today and also had a very stressful work day. I will be glad to get off work at noon tomorrow.10-07-2015

And that’s the end of our weird week.

xo,

~C~

catch the moment: wk 30

What a week of mixed emotions! The weekend was great but these week days have been a different story this past 7 days. We are definitely in a time of transition as a family. Theo starts Kindergarten this year and Dexter will have a new teacher and be brotherless at Montessori School. It’s been an extremely busy week between trying to get things ready but we managed to squeeze in a lot of fun Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Linking up with Mindi,Stephanie, and Carrie for week 30 of Catch the Moment 365.

204/365: Thursday July 23rd. This day marked 8 years since my father passed away due to pancreatic cancer. Ryan knows this day is hard for me. I met a friend for dinner and meanwhile, my 3 special guys picked up a couple of pick-me-ups. Oh, I wish my dad was around to know my kids.07-23-2015

205/365: Friday, July 24th. At work, we had a team-building activity. I had never done one of these canvas class thingies but it was really fun. Another highlight of the day was finally meeting up with the boys’ best friends -another pair of brothers – from Montessori school at the park in the evening. Theo and Dexter had been missing their little buddies and they were so happy to get together after 2+ months apart. 07-24-2015

206/365: Saturday, July 25th. Luke Bryan concert with friends!! An annual tradition. So much fun. 07-25-2015

207/365: Sunday July 26th. Another summer lake day at my in-laws’ house – these are too few and far between. We are trying to squeeze every drop out of summer! I am in love with my mother-in-law’s blue hydrangeas. 07-26-2015

208/365: Monday July 27th. Monday was a Monday in every sense of the word. Little things…big things. It just seemed like everything was going wrong. I overslept. Broke my only ponytail holder with hair that looked like I’d overslept. Spilled coffee all over my white shirt. Found out Dexter’s Montessori teacher is not coming back this year. Got a call from summer camp because Dex had a fever. Took Dex to the doctor to find out he had swimmer’s ear. And on and on and on. Forgot to take a picture until about 1158pm…this was all I could manage. My pathetic countertop.07-27-2015

209/365: Tuesday, July 28th. On Tuesday, we found out that Theo’s Kindergarten teacher had quit and would only be in the classroom the first 2 days of the school year. Of course this didn’t sit well with me. Tuesday was a very emotional and stressful day. Theo was quiet and shy at back to school night, not interested in saying hi to anyone and almost hiding behind me. I know he isn’t like that in my absence. I felt bad, seeing him acting nervous about Kindergarten for the first time. Afterwards, I laid in bed with him for awhile and asked him how he felt in his heart. He said “half red, half blue.” I’m not 100% sure what he meant but I said, “me too.” And I meant it. I know it’s normal…most kids go to Kindergarten. It’s not like we’ve never been apart before. But this feels different than any other change. It’s so big. No one knows him and he knows no one. Who is going to take care of him? Theo is far more confident than I am. I get teary-eyed every time I think of it. I just want it to be a couple months from now when we are in an established routine. We know teachers and expectations and the car pick up and drop off line. I dunno…it’s just hard knowing he is having emotions that he can’t express and there’s not a thing I can do to make this easier for him. He has to figure it out. He has to struggle with uncomfortable feelings. Experiences like this will contribute to the person he becomes. 07-28-2015

210/365: Wednesday, July 29th. Theo woke up with a fresh attitude. He even said “I wish today was my first day of Kindergarten instead of my last day of camp.” That made me feel so much better. Tonight at bedtime we were reading The Night Before Kindergarten and there’s a line that says the kids were excited and scared. I asked him if he felt excited and scared, he said yes. When I asked why scared, he said because he won’t know “one single person.” How does that feel when you’re 5? As an introvert, that feels TERRIBLE at 35. I’m glad he adapts more easily than I do. 07-29-2015Time for bed….I’ve got a Kindergartner to wake up in the morning.

xo,

~C~