the most wonderful time of the year

It happens every year.  Seasons change.  Some years it seems to happen more slowly than others.  This year, there are no green leaves on the trees in our Easter egg hunt photos.  Last year, the trees were full.  This winter has seemed unbearably long. 

But today?  Today it’s going to be 80 degrees.  I celebrate.

I celebrate by taking a walk on my break at work. I celebrate by wearing a knee-length skirt with butterflies on it that I’ve had for (literally) 10 years, bare legs, and flats.  I celebrate by rolling my windows down, turning the radio up, and singing loudly (and badly) on my way to work.  I celebrate by feeling the warmth on the back of my neck while I’m standing outside.  I celebrate by smiling at strangers more.  I celebrate by taking my time, taking deep breaths, and taking the boys for wagon rides. 

Spending evenings at the park.

Grilling out and enjoying a picnic. Going for frozen yogurt at bedtime.  We celebrate. 

Some people like the snow.  Some people say the Christmas season is the most wonderful time of the year.  I say right now is.  This is my favorite.  I need to live somewhere that has weather like this year round.  I feel such a sense of promise and anticipation.  Knowing that we have a summer full of fun ahead of us before the weather changes for the worse again. 

I’m happy.  That doesn’t mean life is perfect, but it feels pretty damn close right now.  I’m happy.  My favorite time of year.  Time to celebrate! 


why we said no to co-sleeping

I started to comment the other day on a FB post asking if readers did or didn’t co-sleep and why or why not.  My comment started to get lengthy. And then I accidentally deleted it. That was the end of me commenting on that post. 

We chose from the beginning not to co-sleep.  I worked for the Department of Child Services Child Abuse Hotline at the time Theo was born and every child death had to be reported to us.  Every unexpected infant death was investigated as a possible abuse/neglect case.  We received a startling number of these reports.  So the decision, for me, was largely about safety. I did not want me & my baby to become a statistic.  I didn’t know what I was getting into – how easy it would be to roll over on an infant, etc.  I didn’t know I would sleep lighter than I’d ever imagined for 2 years after becoming a mother…yowzer, that sucked, but is not the point here. (Disclaimer: That’s not to say we didn’t doze off during a nursing session and succumb to the exhaustion more than a couple of times during those very early, sleep-deprived weeks.  Being a real parent and not just a lady that worked for DCS, I realize that those suffocations usually involve an altered state due to drug use, alcohol, or some other risk factor that did not pertain to us.  But notice that I did say USUALLY.  Not always. This is still a strong argument for not co-sleeping with an infant).

My decision was not solely based on safety.  Someone I knew allowed their child to sleep with them from the beginning and that worked out fine for them.  But I knew it wouldn’t work for me. It turned into a situation where the child did not would not go to bed until the parents went to bed.  The child ended up sleeping with the parents until age 5 or 6.  That’s a lot of child-in-your-bed time if you ask me.  And as much as I love playing with those little cherubs, I value my me-time after they go to bed. The child didn’t end up sleeping with the parents for life.  I just saw the fight they had to get the kid to go to bed alone and knew that I didn’t want any part of that if I could avoid it.

So we were determined from the beginning to a.) not smother our baby and b.) have our grown up bed to our grown up selves.

Do I regret our decision? Not really. Sometimes. Occasionally.  No, not really.  Sorry. I had to sort that out in my head for a second. 

The only time I regret it is when those cute snuggly little bears do actually crawl into our beds and fall asleep in my arms.  They learned to sleep in their beds from the beginning  – not to say we didn’t rock them, etc. Gah I sound so cruel and cold.  WE ARE VERY LOVING, okay? Anyway, they learned to sleep in their beds early on so they don’t seem to need that closeness to fall asleep now that they are 1 & 3.  However, there is the random occasion when this happens and all I can do is stare at their sweet, peaceful faces and soak it all in.  I let my mind wander off to consider what life would be like if we had let them sleep with us all this time.  Would they be more snuggly now? They wouldn’t sleep with us forever, after all.  Childhood goes by so quickly and the years are short, even when the days and nights are long. 

Then, while I’m kissing a baby-smooth forehead and smelling a head full of silky hair, the thought starts creeping into my mind, should I have let him sleep with us? Is he going to think this is how it’s going to be from now on? Don’t worry, I’m able to snap out of it and enjoy the moment.  Unfortunately, these moments are all too rare.  I’ll have to enjoy our snuggles on the couch and before bedtime because these boys are not even interested in sleeping with mom and dad 364 days a year.

Ultimately, I do not have any regrets. We’ve been lucky in the sleep department for the most part and this lifestyle works for our family.  And that’s all that matters.


if you really knew me: part II

To get to know me better, read my first If You Really Knew Me post HERE.

You’d know that I’m giddy right now because I just bought 21 items from Children’s Place online for just over $100. (P.S. 30% off purchases over $60 and free shipping!) It’s like Christmas over here.  Pants, Boots, and Shirts, OH MY!  And I do still have a blog post, over a month late, coming up about Christmas.

Back to the If You Really Knew Me stuff…

You’d know that I strongly believe if a town doesn’t have Target, it’s not worth living in.  You’d know I went to 5 different elementary schools.  You’d know that I’ve always been a writer (and that it’s gotten me into trouble before).  You’d know that I’d rather be hot than cold.  You’d know that I’m usually cold.  You’d know that my dad used to call me Can Dice…or Canned Ice I suppose.  (You’d also know that I really don’t like it when people misspell my name).  You’d  know I’m anal about apostrophes and spelling errors.  On that note, you might know that I would’ve won the school spelling bee when I was in the 2nd grade if the dumb judge hadn’t misunderstood me.  I spelled most M-O-S-T and they thought I said M-O-S-T-E.  Come on. Who spells most with an e?  I fought for it though.  Lost, but I fought for it.

You’d know I used to sing in a church choir. You’d know I have an adventurous side. I’m not afraid of heights and I love the thrill of a roller coaster or a zipline (did you know I did one in Skagway, Alaska?) Did you know I have a superhero power?  Yep, 99% of the times that I randomly grab paperclips or hangers, I get the right number.  Jealous yet?

You’d also know that when I was little, I thought I’d get married at age 18 to someone who was 20 and that I’d have our first baby when I was 20.  You’d know that I thought I was going to be an astronaut or maybe a nurse, because those are pretty similar.  You’d know that my first car was named Penelope, and coincidentally, I now have a niece that bears this name as well.  An homage maybe? Maybe not.  My niece is much cuter than that old 1984 Pontiac Sunbird.  (Sadly, I don’t think I even have any pictures of me and Penelope.  The car.  Not the baby.  I have pictures of me and the baby).

Told ya so.

You’d know I’m obsessed with turquoise/aqua combined with most any color…red, purple, green, orange, yellow – I love it all.  My whole house would be aqua, inside and out, with splashes of all other colors if I could get away with it.

Some of my current favorite things ever:

Now do you feel like you really know me?


p.s. This is my 300th post of all time!  And my 11th post of January, which is 11 more posts than I posted in December.  I’m on it.