prepare to be green with envy, y’all.
Here’s what a typical (week)day in the life looks like.
6:15AM: The alarm goes off. Sometimes Dexter is already awake, sometimes I’m stunned by the silence and actually waking up to the sound of the alarm clock. Suppose on this day, Dexter was still asleep.
Nah, scratch that. He’s awake by now. Starting over.
5:32AM: Wake up to whining and temporarily wonder if I am on another planet or if it’s the middle of the night. Disoriented, I walk out to the kitchen with my eyes as squinted as they can be and still be useful for seeing things. Sort of. I listen to Dexter through the monitor in the living room either calling “mama” or “I want milk hot.” Yep. We still give him warm milk. Shut up.
5:35AM: Dexter is tucked snugly in our bed between us and slurping down the last few sips of milk before handing me his cup and saying “Here. Here. Take it mommy. All gone.” We all fall asleep.
6:15AM: Ahh, there you are alarm clock. Now I hit snooze.
6:25AM: And again.
6:30AM: I roll out of bed and head to the shower. Sometime while I’m in there, Theo wakes up and Ryan has started getting him and/or Dexter dressed.
7:20AM: This is the goal time to leave the house. At this point, we’re usually still putting on shoes and jackets and it just depends how cooperative two little boys are as to whether or not we’re out the door by 7:40. If it becomes clear that it’s not happening, I just leave and Ryan takes them because while my job is flexible, I feel the need to be there at a certain time. Ryan flies by the seat of his pants.
7:30AM: If I drop off the boys, this is the desired time. I get them out of their carseats and follow them up the sidewalk, walk in, put their jackets, diaper bag, shoes, etc. in the closet and kiss them goodbye.
8AM – 4PM: blahblahblahblahblah.
4:20PM: Pick up the boys. Chase Dexter around the babysitter’s house for 10 minutes begging him to let me put his shoes on because he is doing anything he can to stall leaving. Look, kid. I’m glad you like it there and all but I’m sure your sitter is ready for you to get the H-E-double hockey sticks out of there and frankly, I just wanna go home myself.
4:40PM: Usually around the time we get home. I’ll flip on a cartoon for the boys to watch because that’s what guarantees me the least interruptions while attempting to create some kind of Pinterest culinary masterpiece. Check on them periodically to make sure no one’s bleeding, they haven’t knocked the t.v. over, or just taken off down the street for a stroll. Okay -NONE of these things have just happened so back off. Obviously because I’m checking on them periodically.
5:30-5:45PMish: Ryan gets home from work and dinner’s ready. (MUST BE NICE). We eat. This can be a drawn out process, guys. By the time dinner’s cleaned up it could be 6:30 or 7. There is a lot of redirecting to eat. Bribery. False promises. True promises. Encouragement. And surrender. I’m just kidding. It’s not that bad. They’re pretty good eaters usually, just slow.
7PM: Bath night is every other night until they are getting sweaty and slathered with sunscreen every day. So if it’s bath night, we’ll do that. I’ll let them stay in there as long as they like unless they’re splashing all the water out and acting too nutso for me to handle. They’re usually out by 7:30 and ready to play some games, read some books, or play with toys.
7:50PM: 10 minute warning! It’s almost bedtime. Time to brush your teeth. Time to get your fresh diapers on. So you (Theo) can fill it up with a big bomb since you won’t do that in the toilet (again). Time to pick out what toy(s) you want to take to bed.
8:05PM: Lights out! Good night.
8:06PM: Dexter’s crying and begging for us to “rock-a-beebee” him.
8:15PM: 9 minutes and 14 songs later, they are both in their beds.
8:32PM: Theo calls for me and when I go in, he says he’s pooped.
8:34PM: Theo’s back in bed.
8:44PM: Dexter’s finally quiet. No blue lights on the monitor. Whew.
8:50PM: Theo calls for me and when I go in, he asks me to snuggle up with him.
9:46PM: I wake up in Theo’s bed and temporarily wonder if I am on another planet or if it’s the middle of the night. Disoriented, I walk out to the living room with my eyes as squinted as they can be and still be useful for seeing things. Ryan’s still awake and asks me where I’ve been. As if.
10:31PM: I’m falling asleep on the couch again and announce that I’m going to bed. Or maybe I’ve got the laptop right here, and I’m pecking away at the keys. Trying to document the things that my boys do. The things they say. Things I want to remember and things I’d rather forget. Or maybe I’m watching Nashville or some other show on DVR. Maybe I’m watching Ryan play a video game while I play on my phone.
At some point, I do go to bed and look at Pinterest for far too long. Until I cannot keep my eyes open and my phone slips out of my hand. Then I do it all over again.
Linking up with Melissa at Growing Up Geeky for Toddle Along Tuesday.