I’m still here.

Wow, I have fallen way off of the blogging bandwagon and I’ve missed two years worth of birthday posts now for the boys. And each year I thought to myself, I need to do that. Then the birthdays fly by and afterwards, I tell myself, it’s not too late to do that. But here we are, I haven’t blogged since Dexter’s seventh birthday and now he’s nine. Oh my, how the world has changed in just two years.

I’ve thought about writing lots of things on lots of occasions but the time, energy, and/or motivation it takes has held me back. The moments, days, weeks, months, and years seem to be going by at lightning speed these days. Good intentions fade into “I’ll do it next year” and then next year comes and goes too.

We’ve taken lots of trips that were only documented on Instagram or Facebook. I miss recounting my memories here because rereading the words evoke feelings that would otherwise become lost. In 2019 we visited Asheville, NC for fall break and Walt Disney World from May 29-June 7. In 2018, Ryan and I went on a dream adults only cruise with our friends Brock and Ashly to the southern Caribbean. We also celebrated my in-laws 50th anniversary in Panama City Beach over the summer and took the boys to Chicago over Spring Break. We went camping, we visited friends and family in Tennessee and Ohio.

We made new friends and lost a few old ones. We worked hard at our jobs, and we have worked on the house. The kids have gone from babies to preschoolers to school aged kids who now only have 1 and 2 years left in elementary, respectively. I don’t know where the time is going, but I know it’s all one big blur. I don’t ever use my DSLR anymore, regrettably. I’m afraid I’ve forgotten how to and that alone stops me from even getting it out.

There’s a crazy virus that has changed the world. There’s a crazy man in office and his words and actions (and the subsequent reactions from his followers) have shone a light on much of our country’s dark troubles, but in times of trouble I still believe that there is good and there is hope for a better future.

My baby niece isn’t a baby; she’s 18 (and a half) and she finished high school. I was there when she was born. I was one of the first people in the world to see her face and now she’s so grown up.

My heart is happy, my heart hurts. I’m content, I’m itching for change. Ready for an inner growth. I know who I am and what I want sometimes and other days I feel like I’m wandering into middle school again for the first time, lost and scared. Maybe I’ll try to go through old pictures soon and post some updates that I can look back at later. I don’t know, I don’t know.

Dear Dexter: You’re 7

Hi Dexy Bear/Dextie Baby/Dexy booboo/Baby Dexter,

Oh. I guess maybe you don’t want to be called those things anymore? Nah…you’re still my baby and you will always be. First things first,  you still have MOST of your baby teeth – you did lose your bottom two front teeth in the fall but those top baby teeth are still hanging in there and I LOVE YOUR BABY TEETH smile. I know that’s weird, but moms are allowed to be weird about their babies. Big boys.

This past year, you’ve (almost) completed first grade and have had a lot of fun along the way. You reeeeally like talking to your friends, sometimes when you’re not supposed to, but you’re making wonderful grades and love learning and going to school. Second grade, here we come! You’ve gotten into Minecraft and Beyblades this year. We had a fun trip to Disney World in the fall and a beach vacation with Grammy last summer.

This summer we’re looking forward to another beach vacation with family to celebrate Nana and Pop Pop’s 50th wedding anniversary! Summer can’t get here soon enough – you can’t wait to spend a week with your cousin Spencer!

You’ve had a busy weekend of celebrating. Grammy came up from Tennessee to be here for your special day (which is also my special day – Mother’s Day!). The last time your birthday was on Mother’s Day was in 2012…when you turned ONE. Oh how quickly things have changed and how much you have grown!

Friday night we celebrated by having a party at You Are The Potter with your school buddies and family.

Saturday you went shopping with Grammy and picked out some cool new Lego sets. After you went to bed, mom and dad decorated the kitchen to surprise you and wrapped your presents…eager for you to wake up on Sunday morning – your 7th birthday!!

You opened your presents, Grammy made delicious french toast for breakfast, and then we had another BIG surprise for my little animal loving guy (YOU). Grammy treated us to a day at Zoo’Opolis!


I hope you remember this birthday as one of the best! You sure loved those animals and it was sad to leave when our time ran out. You’re always easy to get a long with, a good friend with a big heart, a sweetie, a lover not a fighter, thoughtful thinker, a comedian, a fart face, a honey bun, and forever my baby! I love your big blue eyes, long eyelashes, tight hugs, loud laughs, big smiles, and loving words. Stay you, Dexter. It’s the best way to be. <3

Love always,


Happy 8th Birthday Theo!

Theo, Theo, Theo…

You are eight years old today. I look at you and see your crooked smile, long legs, and changing interests and it hits me hard that you are not a little kid anymore. You are almost through 2nd grade and have continued to excel academically, but not without your fair share of agenda book “checks” this year for some silly behaviors. You have fallen in love with Pokemon and Minecraft and while I thought that was the last thing on Earth I’d want invading my home, your enthusiasm and knowledge is impressive, contagious, and cute.

It has been an interesting year to say the least. Around your 7th birthday, your allergy doctor prescribed medication to help with your symptoms. We noticed over the summer that you weren’t having as much fun doing things that you used to enjoy. Stay with me, I’m going to come back to that.

You got your eyes checked in April and ended up with some pretty cool blue glasses. At the time the doctor said you barely needed them but now you act like you can’t see without them. You like your glasses, and we do too. You get tons of compliments on them and you know what they say – glasses make you look smart!

You rode a horse for the first time on Mother’s Day last year; that was something I had been wanting to do with you for a long time. You absolutely loved it, did great, and immediately said you wanted to go back. (Me too!)

We enjoyed a summer vacation to Garden City Beach and loved playing in the sand, the pool, and walking down to the pier to get Italian ices and ice cream cones almost every day we were there. You and your brother got along so well, had your own bedroom in the condo, and made some really great family memories with Grammy. You and Dexter LOVED going to the Pirate dinner show.

You spent most of your summer days at Crabapple Creek camp and reunited with some favorite friends from the 2 summers before. You started taking drawing classes at a local art studio. You got bored with that once Dexter quit going and decided after a while to bail, too.

We had a quick surprise getaway to Jellystone Park in Bloomington for Daddy’s birthday in July. We loved our little cabin, the water park, and getting snacks from the camp store!

You were excited to start 2nd grade and like your teacher. You became really good friends with a girl in your class and I can’t get over how much you have in common and how well you get along.

In September, we went on your 3rd vacation to Walt Disney World. While we were there, so many things reminded you of your friend from school and you asked me to take pictures of everything you thought she would like. Our memories from Disney vacations are some of my favorites. I hope you will grow up loving it as much as I do and take your family there one day! We stayed at Coronado Springs Resort and you probably enjoyed the pool there as much as any other part of our trip, if not more. We went to the water parks for the first time ever, and we all loved going down the slides, especially the family raft rides.

You dressed up as Davy Jones for Halloween and Dexter dressed up as Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. You two got so many compliments and really looked AWESOME! We all got such a big kick out of the costumes and of course, enjoyed tons of candy. Our neighborhood is perfect for trick-or-treating! The biggest TREAT of all though, was a cute little kitten that followed us home. You and Dexter promptly named her Snickers. Against your daddy’s wishes, we let Snicks live in our garage for a week while we attempted to find her a home. The biggest TRICK of all was when we found out that Snicks had fleas. We bathed her, played with her, fed her, and delivered to her new home happy and healthy. You and Dexter were really sad to say goodbye (and so was I). We still talk about her and miss her funny personality.

In November, we noticed you still were not enjoying things as much as you used to, you seemed grumpy most days, and your teacher had started making marks in your agenda book about you not paying attention, being distracted, and even attempting to avoid work sometimes. When we talked to you about it, you really got upset and we were feeling at a loss. You said some things that made us feel so sad and worried. You were really down and it was heartbreaking for us because we didn’t know how to help. It wasn’t until one day when you’d asked to go to a bounce house that we realized what was wrong. We hadn’t been there for 5 minutes when you came over to where we were sitting and pouted for at least an hour before we left. You were bored. This was stupid. You wanted to leave. Every other boy your age there was having the time of his life. Your dad and I were crushed. And in that moment, it hit me.

I remembered your allergy doctor mentioning that the medication you were taking might make some kids “a little fussy.” While Dexter continued to play and you sat there with your head on the table, I googled the med and side effects in children and couldn’t believe what I was reading. I felt relieved and hopeful that finally we would be able to help you feel like yourself again.

We called your doctor the following week and took you off of the medication right away. While you have struggled more with your allergies, our happy son has finally gotten back to his old self. Almost a new self, actually. You’re happier than ever. Smiley-er than ever. Funnier, wittier, and smarter than ever. I am getting to know a more cooperative and mature son than I’ve ever known.

We had special family time during the holidays, made a couple of trips to Tennessee, and carefully put out cookies and milk for Santa Claus. In January, I signed you up for basketball with great hesitation. You were kinda mad initially, but Theo…I was so proud of you. You went to every single practice and game without complaining. You focused, put forth so much effort, had a positive attitude, and participated to the very best of your ability. You even (dare I say it) had a great time!

Looking back over the past year, I feel half angry that your doctor didn’t fully explain the side effects to us, and just as guilty for not being more proactive about researching them myself and for not recognizing what was going on sooner. While there were a lot of ‘ups’ and good memories made, I wonder how much more you would have enjoyed 2017 if you hadn’t been on that darn medicine for 8 months. On a positive note, I am thankful we figured it out when we did and that you didn’t have to stay that negative mindset. The good definitely outweighed the bad. It is always bittersweet seeing you turn another year older, but we are ready for another 12  awesome months. We feel lucky to have you in our lives and we love being your parents, learning from you, and watching you grow.

Today, we celebrate YOU! You wanted to have a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese’s because “I have never gotten in the thing where they blow all the tickets at you in my whole entire life.” We will hang out with a few friends, eat some pizza and brownies (because you’re weird and don’t like cake), play games, and continue to cherish these days, weeks, and years with you. Even if you did make us go to Chuck E. Cheese.  And learn all the names of the Pokemon thingies. And watch you build your fortress in Minecraft 13 times in one week. Especially because of all those things.

We are proud of you, love you more than you’ll ever know, and can’t wait to see what’s next for you. P.S. Thanks for the great Last-Day-Being-7 picture.

XOXO forever,