if you really knew me: part II

To get to know me better, read my first If You Really Knew Me post HERE.

You’d know that I’m giddy right now because I just bought 21 items from Children’s Place online for just over $100. (P.S. 30% off purchases over $60 and free shipping!) It’s like Christmas over here.  Pants, Boots, and Shirts, OH MY!  And I do still have a blog post, over a month late, coming up about Christmas.

Back to the If You Really Knew Me stuff…

You’d know that I strongly believe if a town doesn’t have Target, it’s not worth living in.  You’d know I went to 5 different elementary schools.  You’d know that I’ve always been a writer (and that it’s gotten me into trouble before).  You’d know that I’d rather be hot than cold.  You’d know that I’m usually cold.  You’d know that my dad used to call me Can Dice…or Canned Ice I suppose.  (You’d also know that I really don’t like it when people misspell my name).  You’d  know I’m anal about apostrophes and spelling errors.  On that note, you might know that I would’ve won the school spelling bee when I was in the 2nd grade if the dumb judge hadn’t misunderstood me.  I spelled most M-O-S-T and they thought I said M-O-S-T-E.  Come on. Who spells most with an e?  I fought for it though.  Lost, but I fought for it.

You’d know I used to sing in a church choir. You’d know I have an adventurous side. I’m not afraid of heights and I love the thrill of a roller coaster or a zipline (did you know I did one in Skagway, Alaska?) Did you know I have a superhero power?  Yep, 99% of the times that I randomly grab paperclips or hangers, I get the right number.  Jealous yet?

You’d also know that when I was little, I thought I’d get married at age 18 to someone who was 20 and that I’d have our first baby when I was 20.  You’d know that I thought I was going to be an astronaut or maybe a nurse, because those are pretty similar.  You’d know that my first car was named Penelope, and coincidentally, I now have a niece that bears this name as well.  An homage maybe? Maybe not.  My niece is much cuter than that old 1984 Pontiac Sunbird.  (Sadly, I don’t think I even have any pictures of me and Penelope.  The car.  Not the baby.  I have pictures of me and the baby).

Told ya so.

You’d know I’m obsessed with turquoise/aqua combined with most any color…red, purple, green, orange, yellow – I love it all.  My whole house would be aqua, inside and out, with splashes of all other colors if I could get away with it.

Some of my current favorite things ever:

Now do you feel like you really know me?


p.s. This is my 300th post of all time!  And my 11th post of January, which is 11 more posts than I posted in December.  I’m on it.

most embarrassing moment #5156

Picture it.  Sunday after Thanksgiving 2012 around 1600 hours Eastern Standard Time. 

Me behind the steering wheel in the middle of standstill traffic, about 3 hours after a long lunch and at least 5 glasses of sweet tea at Buffalo Wild Wings.  That spicy salad really was spicy and it made me really thirsty.  Theo was asleep, but woke suddenly, maybe due to the sudden lack of motion.  For some reason, this translated into him screaming at the top of his lungs for no known reason over the course of the next 15 minutes (that felt like 521 minutes). 

Interstate traffic + me = anxiety. 
Screaming toddler that can’t be reasoned with + exploding bladder = nerves beyond their breaking point.

Anxiety + Frayed Nerves = Complete & Total Meltdown.

I screamed at Theo while he was screaming, just to be louder than him in irrational hopes that he would hear me.  I screamed to let off some of the tension that had been ballooning up inside like, well, my bladder.

Eventually Theo stopped screaming.  My bladder did not.  I begged Ryan for some kind of help. Some promise of relief.  Of course there was nothing he could do.  I threw that Highlander in park and climbed in the backseat, where the windows are tinted ever so slightly darker than the front.  I discreetly grabbed Theo’s Mickey Mouse sippy cup and twisted that lid off at lightning speed.  I pulled my pants down and relieved myself in his cup.  All while avoiding eye contact with either of my children out of humiliation. 


Those cups aren’t very big and certainly don’t hold 5 glasses of sweet tea, regardless of how much ice was in those cups to begin with (tea always takes a lot of ice, you know?). There’s this phenomenon of stopping and starting that I had to use and use well.  Long enough to hold this cup in position with one hand while getting a size 5 Luvs diaper out of the buried diaper bag with the other hand.  And yes, after conquering a mild to moderate case of stagefright, I finished the job in that baby diaper.

Never felt more relieved than I did at that moment.  All of the stress and tension of that traffic situation melted away immediately.  I situated myself and resumed my spot in the driver’s seat.  All the while, Ryan was looking out the window with paranoia, and rightfully so, while saying things along the lines of:

Oh my god.
Are you serious?
I can’t believe you’re doing this.

Yes, seriously.  I sure did.  And that was that. Until the next day.

Picture it. The Monday after Thanksgiving 2012. 

On the way to the babysitter’s house around 0730 hours Eastern Standard Time.

Theo: Mommy?
Me:  Yes, sweetie?
Theo:  Why did you pee in my Mickey Mouse sippy cup?
Me:  Thoughtful pause…I didn’t.
Theo:  Yes, you did.
Me: No, I didn’t.
Theo:  Yes, you did Mommy.  In the car yesterday.  You peed in my Mickey Mouse sippy cup.
Me:  Thoughtful pause, accept of defeat.  Oh.  That.  Well, you see, Theo.  Mommy had to pee really, really, really, really badly and there were no potties nearby.  All the cars on the road were stopped and there was nowhere for mommy to get out and use the bathroom.  So I had to find something I could potty in.
Theo:  But Mommy.  That was my cup and I really like my Mickey Mouse sippy cup.
Me: Yes, I know, honey.  I’m sorry.  We can get you a new cup.
Theo:  Thoughtful pause.  Mommy? 
Me:  Yes, Theo?
Theo:  I have a Mickey Mouse cup at {the babysitter}’s house.  Mickey’s riding his bike and wearing a helmet and I really like that cup.
Me:  Oh?  That’s good!
Theo:  Mommy, please don’t pee in my Mickey Mouse sippy cup at {the babysitter}’s house. 

And at that moment, I knew our secret was not safe.  I knew that if I didn’t tell the babyistter what had happened, Theo would tell some version of this story.  She wouldn’t know if it was true. She would be confused. She might think I was making my child drink urine and report me to CPS.  I had to explain. 

Good morning, babysitter, let me tell you my most embarrassing story ever and get your week off to a hilarious start. 

It wasn’t too funny then, but it’s pretty funny now.  Darn kid is too smart for his (my) own good. 



I’m way behind, I know.  I just haven’t felt too motivated to blog for the last week or so.  Last weekend we went to Tennessee to visit my now almost 3 week old baby niece, Penelope Quinn.  She’s doing great.  My heart could bust with love for this newest member of our family.  I spent as much time as I could with her in my arms, just staring at her and memorizing her face, knowing that the next time I see her she will look completely different and much more like a smiley infant than a squishy newborn.  I also felt my heart grow ten times it’s own size watching her big brother and big sister with her.  It’s obvious that there will be no shortage of love in this baby girl’s life.  I’m only sad that I won’t be around as much as I’d like because of the distance between us.  It was definitely tough to leave.

What is it about those newborn yawns that are so irresistible?
I had obsessed about this baby out loud so much at work that everyone there has asked me about her.  Yes, she’s amazing!  Everyone seems curious to know if this makes me want another baby, now that my sister has three kids and as I return from holding this tiny babe dressed in pink.  I sure miss that babe.  I sure miss my boys being tiny babes.  But no, we’re still holding steady at two and through!