Category Archives: working mom woes

catch the moment: wk 35

I feel like a broken record – it’s been another busy week. I can’t believe it’s almost fall. I can’t believe I have a kid in Kindergarten. I don’t want winter to come. I can’t believe how fast time goes by. I wish I had time to do it all. Every week I find myself making plans to do better at fitting it all in next week. I felt like I was at the gym too much during the week so I’ve been spending more time at home. Now I feel gross and tired and out of shape, but I’m enjoying more time with the boys. Where’s the balance? Can I just request 4 more waking hours in every day? We have some big fun plans coming up in the next couple of months so plenty to look forward despite dreaded fall and winter lurking around the corner.

The boys and I snuck off to Tennessee for the weekend to visit my family while Ryan did some demo work at home. I relished the family time and tried to soak up every minute with my nieces and nephew, my mom, my sister, and my brother-in-law. Seeing them just makes me that much more homesick, wishing we had more time to spend together. I had a big WHOA mommy moment while on the trip. My kids are getting older and more mature. I was worried about managing the 5.5 hr drive alone, but they were perfect angels. They were wonderful at my mom’s. It was more than doable, it was completely 100% absolutely enjoyable. A new phase of motherhood- fantastic! A feeling of increased freedom and confidence. At the same time, I can’t help but still have that WHOA feeling…it’s clear that they really are growing up.

239/365: Thursday, August 27th. Sometimes the best you can do is a POV picture while watching your guilty pleasure trashy TV late at night. 08-27-2015

240/365: Friday, August 28th. Dexter was eating within 5 minutes of arriving at my mom’s. Three words for this boy. Human Garbage Disposal. 08-28-2015

241/365: Saturday, August 29th. My 10 year old nephew, Mal. Seriously one of the kindest, gentlest, and coolest people I know. 08-29-2015

242/365: Sunday, August 30th. Our trip was a whirlwind – we were barely gone for 48 hours. Sunday we said goodbye to my family before niece Penelope jetted off from my mom’s – don’t get your knickers in a bunch, it’s only 100 feet to their house. 08-30-2015

243/365: Monday, August 31st. While we were gone, Ryan tore up the carpet – yes I said carpet- in our kitchen. Decisions, decisions! We finally narrowed it down and selected tile for the kitchen and powder room. 08-31-2015

244/365: Tuesday, September 1st. Speaking of that powder room, here’s what’s left of it. I can’t wait to replace those 1983 touches with modern ones. Goodbye disgusting bathroom!09-01-2015

245/365: Wednesday, September 2nd. What would I do without these two? 09-02-2015All in all a great week! I have been hoarding my PTO at work all summer so that I can take off when the boys have school breaks, so I’m really excited to have a long weekend to celebrate Labor Day and hang out -mostly at home- with my guys.

xo,

~C~

Catch the Moment|wk.21

Shew, I’ve been busy this week – putting up a record 3 blog posts since my last Catch the Moment. In case you missed it, I wrote about Day 1 and Day 2 of our Walt Disney World vacation as well as the boys’ last day of pre-school.

Linking up with Mindi, Stephanie, and Carrie for week 21 of Catch the Moment.

141/365: Thursday, May 21st. Because when you work from 9am-10pm, this is all that’s left to photograph. I hadn’t planned to work so late but Ryan was already on his way to pick up the boys when I got a call from their school. Both had fevers and were falling asleep on the playground. Neat! I knew I’d need to take off Friday so I worked until I hit 40 hours. 05-21-2015

142/365: Friday, May 22nd. Both boys woke up without fevers but Theo woke up crying that his ears hurt in the middle of the night. I made an afternoon appointment to get him checked out before the long weekend…verdict: double ear infection! Weird since he’d never had one in all of his 5+ years. Off to Target for antibiotics and we stopped by school so he could tell his teachers and friends goodbye on the last day. So sad that he wasn’t able to attend. By the time we got home, they were tired and not in the mood to take last-day-of-school photos.05-22-2015

143/365: My sweet and wonderful friend Erin is days away from welcoming baby number 2! I wasn’t able to attend her surprise baby shower the week before so we had our own little celebration at a yummy Italian restaurant close by. So fun to have the evening (and conversation) to ourselves without little voices interrupting every train of thought. Ha!05-23-2015

144/365: The new water park opened in our town for Memorial Day weekend so of course we were in line to check it out on Sunday at noon with some of our friends. Excited to have this nice amenity so close to home. The water was FREEZING, but we expected that so early in the season. The boys loved the kid splash area and the lazy river.05-24-2015

145/365: Monday, May 25th. Memorial Day. We stayed home on the holiday and worked on some house projects. Ryan worked on the grout for our tile backsplash while I stained some neglected replacement windows and primed a red wall that I never liked in preparation for painting it the same color as the rest of the room. 05-25-2015

146/365: Tuesday, May 26th. Our sweet neighbors John and Katy sure know how to make my day with their son’s leftover party treats! Thank you!!05-26-2015

147/365: Wednesday, May 27th: Ryan and I took advantage of the boys spending the night with Nana and Pop Pop and went to a movie. We saw Tomorrowland so I had to represent with the Mickey shirt I wore at Disney on my birthday (because when else am I going to wear it again?). For me, the movie was entertaining but not something I need to see again. Too futuristic. I’m not mad though- I mean…it’s called Tomorrowland. It paid tribute to Walt in a pretty cool way at the beginning which is what I really wanted to see. Disney geeks unite!05-27-2015Now that we are a few days removed from sickness and 13 hour work days, I can say we’ve had a great week! Let’s keep the trend going…

xo,

~C~

 

balancing act

So I mentioned a couple posts back that I was really struggling to find balance in my life. I started this year with a few goals. One of them was that I was going to break free from running. Running and only running had tied me down and pinned me in. I had a big running resolution in 2014 that I couldn’t meet for many reasons (including weeks and months where no motivation was present) but a major one that derailed me more than once was injury. My knees are horrible to begin with but something happened to my foot in November that quickly ended my running for most of the remainder of the year.

I still run but I also decided to try new things. Yoga. Pilates. Zumba. Cycling. Water Fitness. Interval Training. Turbo Kick.  And I have tried all these new things except for Turbo Kick because frankly I’m scared to death. But I will. Eventually. I have learned that exercise SHOULD be fun. It should be something to look forward to and not dread, as I felt many times before. Something that I can’t miss, not something that I can be easily talked out of doing.

Good news: All of these classes are offered for free at the YMCA. Bad news: Class times that I am able to make are at the worst times. There’s childcare available, but my kids have gone from tolerating it to hating it. {The last time I took them, Theo said it smelled like a huge poopy diaper in there and he was never going back. True, it did smell like a huge poopy diaper when I picked them up.} Now that Theo’s 5, he would go to the next age group which would mean Dexter would be left all alone in the stinky baby room. I can’t do that to them. So, I can only go when Ryan is home. Which means a few things: 1. Ryan and I can never exercise together. 2. Every time I go to a class, I am missing out on family time. 3. The more time I spend away from home at the gym, the less convenient it is for Ryan to also get a workout in.

It sucks. Number 2 is the big doozy for me. I would love to work out with Ryan but the main reason I’ve been struggling with balance lately is because I LOVE my classes. I love going to the gym. I look forward to the physical strength I feel and challenging myself through difficult moves. Depending on the day, I might see my kids for 2-4 hours on a weeknight. They are still asleep when I leave the 2 mornings that Ryan takes them to school. To be gone for an hour and a half or more on a day when I barely see them to begin with flat out sucks. Ryan is doing the majority of the care for the children on these days, such as bathing and putting them to bed, but he’s also playing games and reading them bedtime stories while I’m away. One night last week I put on my pajamas before I cooked dinner and Theo practically shouted with glee, “Mommy! You’re not going to exercise tonight!?” When I told him I was staying home, he jumped up and down and ran and told his brother that mommy wasn’t going anywhere.

OUCH.

I have been feeling that way too – guilty – but hearing him say it just made me want to puke. I feel like I’ve been selfish, but have I really? I found workouts that I LOVE and look forward to. I feel strong. I don’t want to stop going to my classes. In fact, I wish I could go to more but that’s not realistic or fair to my family. I wish I could find more time in the day. I have been feeling a little bit better about it this week because I have been making a conscious effort to spend more quality time with the boys while we’re together. I included them in my many chores over the weekend and they actually helped. We played together and we worked together. I took the time to sit on the couch and watch a whole movie with them instead of taking advantage of the opportunity to get things done while they were distracted. Dexter sat on my lap and Theo laid his head on my arm. I have been missing out on something that I didn’t even know I was missing. Not only because I’m gone too much but because it’s right there and I haven’t been making it a priority.

I can justify 2 weeknights at the gym (2 nights that I don’t put my kids to bed or spend quality time with them) for the betterment of myself and indirectly, my family. But what if I want to take a 3rd class? Or a friend asks me to dinner one week and a different set of girls are getting together 2 weeks later. Then there’s a team dinner or a fundraiser the next 2 weeks. Then a haircut appointment the following week that’s going to take 2 hours. All of the sudden, I’m very overwhelmed. If I don’t give up my 2 weeknight workouts, I’ll end up being gone 3-4 nights a week every week. It’s just way too much. Time is flying and I don’t want to regret being gone more than I was home when I look back one day. I guess I’m struggling the most with not wanting to miss out on time with my family but not giving up everything else that I enjoy. I don’t want to lose out on friendships because I always say “no,” but I know I can’t say “yes” every time either.

So what I really need is to add about 6 hours to every weekday – I guess I could give up sleep but I’m not sure my friends or kids would want to hang out at 3am. The gym isn’t open and neither is my work. I know it’s a good problem to have, if there is such a thing. It’s great that I have friends and family and my health. Quitting my job is not an option. So how can I have it all without sacrificing myself? Is that even a thing?  I will keep trying to make more of an effort to be present, and really present, when I am home with my guys. I will say no sometimes. But not every time. And I will probably keep feeling guilty for not being at any one place as often as I wish.

xo,

~C~