losing the baby weight

Getting fat was one of my biggest fears about getting pregnant.  I maaaaay have even subconsciously put off getting pregnant as a result of this fear.  I wasn’t afraid of the kind of “fat” that happens because you are currently pregnant (I advocate for healthy pregnancy weight gain).  I’m referring to the extra 20, 30, 40+ pounds that some people carry for years after baby.  The kind of extra weight that makes it uncomfortable when you cross your legs or try to get up from a cushy chair.  The kind of extra weight that makes you uncomfortable in your own skin.

I assumed that after I had a baby, I would have flappy skin that hung down to my knees, and I was positive that my belly would be covered in stretch marks that made my tum tum look like a road map.  I knew for certain that my bikini wearing days would be a thing of the past.  To be honest, I was sure of that before I ever got pregnant because my weight had escalated to the highest it had ever been in my life.  I had surrendered to the notion of being a big girl from there on out when we decided to have a baby.

After trying to conceive for the better part of a year (another day, another blog), I found the motivation to take control of my steady weight gain and dropped 13 pounds in about 6 weeks by incorporating calorie counting (and logging), portion control, and lots of exercise.  Bada bing bada boom, I got pregnant, thereby putting the brakes on my diet.  I couldn’t have been happier… that was 13 pounds I wouldn’t have to lose later. 

By 28 weeks gestation, I had gained 27 pounds.  That was not exactly on track with the recommended 25-35 pound recommended gain.  I had slipped back into overeating and the holidays were not kind to me or my will power.  At 30 weeks, I got a bomb dropped on me.  A big fatty boombalatty bomb.  I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes.  Yuck.

I was put on a strict diet/eating schedule.  I lost 4 pounds in the first couple of weeks after my diagnosis but then slowly began putting some weight back on as Theodore rapidly grew.  By the end of my pregnancy, I’d gained a nice, even, OB/GYN-recommended 30 pounds.  Though I was initially devastated to learn that I had Gestational Diabetes, in retrospect I am thankful because I ate healthier than I ever had during those last 9 weeks of pregnancy.  It was good for me, good for the baby, and I was diet-controlled throughout (I didn’t have to take Insulin).

I gave birth on a Monday and by that Friday, I’d lost 10 pounds.  A week later, 17.  Two and a half weeks post partum, I’d lost 21.  Aaaaaand cut.  I thought the rest of the weight was there to stay.

I didn’t lose an ounce from 3 weeks postpartum until I went back to work at 12 weeks postpartum.  10 pounds FELL OFF with no effort whatsoever in the next 6 weeks or so.  I do believe this is tied in with breastfeeding, as I recently read an article saying that you get the most weight loss benefit out of breastfeeding between 3-6 months.  Since then, I’ve lost another 5 or so. 

Total weight gain during pregnancy: 30 pounds
Total weight loss 5 months postpartum:  36 pounds

I realize that with breastfeeding, I am burning an extra 500 calories or so a day.  As that decreases, I will have to watch my calorie intake and remain active, both of which have been problematic in the past.  I’m finally comfortable with my weight … more so than I had been for 2-3 years before I had a baby.  Sure, my stomach is softer and my hips are wider now, but these are small prices to pay.  For the first time in a long time, I can say I’m happy with my body.  Would I have been happy with this body 5 or 10 years ago?  Probably not, but it is what it is.

At the end of the day, I don’t believe that weight loss success has anything to do with numbers, rather it is a feeling. It’s feeling healthy and energetic and having the desire to move. It’s fitting into the clothes you want to wear and liking what you see in the mirror.

I hope that if anyone else out there is scared of the pregnancy weight gain, maybe this will lend a little encouragement.  It CAN be done!  My only advice:  Breastfeed, breastfeed, breastfeed.  (I don’t mean this to sound rude if you can’t or choose not to…I’m just saying this was the secret to my success.  With that being said, I do realize that losing the weight was easy for me, but I DID have to work hard to successfully breastfeed, therefore I think I deserved and was a recipient of the easy weight loss by default).

 ~C~

p.s. About the stretch marks:  I was diligent about putting on Burt’s Bees Mama Bee belly butter every single day.  That, drinking lots of water, and slow, steady weight gain may have saved me … I only got two stretch marks (one on each hip).  I may choose not wear a bikini again, but it wouldn’t be the scariest thing ever if I did!

booby talk

Theodore is almost six months old and I am still nursing him.  This has not been an easy choice or an easy road and I’m proud of myself for making it as long as I have.  Especially considering that my job requires me to be away from him for 20 hours at a time, 3-4 days a week, which means A LOT of pumping.

I.  Hate.  Pumping.  (on the floor in the corner of a conference room … you get the picture).

I have noticed a decrease in my supply recently but so far, I am still able to make enough milk for him.  I pump exactly what he is eating now, give or take an ounce here and there.  It has been stressful to see my supply decline, but since our freezer is halfway full of frozen milk, I guess it’s good that I’m not producing so much excess now.

Initially my goal was to nurse until I went back to work.  Once I made it 12 weeks, I decided to aim for 6 months.  Now that I am close to making it 6 months, I want make it to the 1 year mark.  I am skeptical that my milk supply will last, but that’s the goal.

Some days I think I’ve made it this far, why not just give it up?  It would certainly make life easier in some ways.  I wouldn’t have to lug this HEAVY bag back and forth every day and be held hostage to the annoying plastic apparatus and whiny motor for 20 minutes at a time.  I wouldn’t have to worry about what people are going to think if I have to (or choose to) nurse my baby in public.  But then, when it’s not so stressful, I can’t see giving this up while it is still an option.  I feel like I would be robbing my baby of something he loves.  Not to mention the cost savings, which has been a big motivator.

On the whole choosing to breastfeed or not to breastfeed note … I’ll apologize in advance if this is offensive.  I’m annoyed by the idea of people saying they couldn’t breastfeed if they didn’t really try.  If you choose not to breastfeed, fine.  I can understand that.  It’s not easy.  Say you chose not to breastfeed.  I don’t judge anyone for that.  If you have a medical reason why you cannot do it, fine.  I understand that too.  Before I had Theodore, I always said I was going to “try” to breastfeed because I knew so few mothers that had successfully nursed their babies for a substantial length of time.  I just assumed that he wouldn’t latch on or I wouldn’t have enough milk.  In general, I was pretty pessimistic about breastfeeding.

As I learned more about it, I realized that very few women “can’t” breastfeed.  After Theodore was born, I learned why so many women don’t breastfeed.  No pun intended, it SUCKS.  At first anyway.  I have said and continue to believe that learning to breastfeed, at least for me and Theodore, was more painful and difficult than childbirth.  Why?  Not because childbirth was easy or painless by any stretch, but the worst of it lasted seconds to minutes.  The pain of a baby that isn’t latching correctly over and over and over and over 8 to 10 times a day for 3-4 weeks was simply torture.  I cried.  He cried.  I wanted to give up so many nights.

I know for a fact that if I’d had a baby 10 years ago, I would not have stuck with breastfeeding.  Being a little older and more mature has certainly made a difference in my determination.

I used nipple shields, breast shelves (or is it shells?), hydrogel pads, ointments, creams, and everything else out there until we got it right.

Now? Now it’s effortless.  Painless.  I’d go as far as to say that I *gasp* enjoy it.  No, that’s not true…I love it.

I will be really sad if my milk supply dries up before I’m ready to stop nursing.  I made the choice to do it and stuck with it when I hated (yes, I know hate is a strong word…I mean it) feeding my son.  I felt so guilty for dreading meal times.  It makes perfect sense why so many people don’t follow through with it, but it is so worth it when you get past the hump.

It might be more bearable if you weren’t trying to go over that hump at the same time as the crashing hormones hump (night sweats, anyone?), postpartum recovery hump (2nd degree tears, anyone?), and the sleepless nights (and days) hump.  It’s enough to make anyone quit breastfeeding, but saying that it was impossible when it was just too hard somehow takes something away from the few that fight through the misery to make it work.

Just sayin’…

~C~

right here. this is where the story begins.

When I was about 6 months pregnant, I started following a handful of pregnancy and mommy blogs.  Now that my own not-so-little baby is almost 6 months old, I can see why there are soooo many mommy blogs out there.  I am doing this for myself, to document the little things as they happen so that I don’t forget them in this crazy life that is rushing past me.

I guess I can stop measuring my baby’s life in weeks now, although there is something remarkable about a person so new to the world that it’s even possible to do that.  Anyway, he’s 24 weeks old … or five and a half months … and he’s the best thing I ever had a part in.  I’ve been saying I was going to stop counting the weeks for about 7 of them now, but it seems like time will just go that much faster if I don’t keep a tally but once a month.

Alas…

He is my Theodore and he is a peach.  I will try not to dwell on the *fact* that he is the best thing ever, because clearly every mom thinks her baby is the best, but I can’t make any promises.

I already have a list of blog entry ideas, such as how I met Theodore’s father (er, my husband), our birth story, and so much more.  I know that some of these might be boring to anyone else that stumbles across my blog, but writing them and posting them is something I want to do for the sake of preserving memories.

So skip ahead if you must, but if you come back, please comment so I know you’re reading.

~C~