Month: November 2011

my stomach hurts.

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

Things have been kind of nutty lately, and there hasn’t been much time for posting here on my bliggity.  Some good stuff, some bad news, my kid got bit by a dog (he’s okay), an impending surgery for my other kid, complete exhaustion, and a little bit of this and a little bit of that. 

Know what I mean?  It’s just been one thing after another.  I’ve had a lot on my mind and not a lot of time to organize the chaos into anything that would make sense for anyone to read. 

For one thing, I can’t believe Christmas is so soon.  I was going to buy Theo a kitchen, but now we are thinking we’ll wait until his birthday (March) because we don’t have much room for one now.  Not that we will in March, but hopefully we’ll be moving in the Spring.  See? More stuff to worry about (the move, not the kitchen).  So that was gonna be Theo’s expensive big gift and now I don’t know what his big gift will be.  Probably, I don’t need to buy him anything big because he won’t know the difference for at least another year or two.  Am I right?

Anyways, here it is…the week of Thanksgiving… I’m just feeling overwhelmed right now.  My husband is sick.  Theo has been coughing for almost three weeks.  I don’t know – this time of year, everyone should be happy and healthy.  Why is everyone so grumpy and worn out and sick?? 

I’m nauseous.  My stomach hurts.  I think it’s from all the snot drainage running down my esophagus from my throat.  Gross, huh?  See…I told you I’m not in my right mind.  I’ll come back with something better than all this.  Prommy (promise).

~C~

i know why women want more babies

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

I’ve pretty much decided that we are not allowed to go in public anymore.  Ever since I started my blog and began posting a lot of pictures here, people just recognize us way too much.  Ha.  Or maybe it’s because EVERY time we go somewhere to have fun, someone (or all of us) end up getting sick. 

It’s been 4 weeks since Theo and I had the stomach virus from hell.  And now Theo has been fighting a junky cough for over a week.  Apparently he was also fighting a sore throat, which would explain a recent eating strike, because last night I started developing one that could pretty much be summed up in three words:  Swallowing.  Razor.  Blades.  Both boys have had weird, persistent rashes.  Dexter has been getting up a lot at night, and when I say “a lot,” I mean 9 times.  NINE times in 8 hours.  I wasn’t home that night but I felt terrible, knowing that my husband was suffering alone while I was at work.  I pretty much started my day at 1:58am on Saturday though, so I think that made up for it.  I can’t wait to get these kids feeling better again.

Dexter decided around Thursday and Friday of last week that now would be a good time to start crawling.  To that, I would say:  Dexter.  Stop it.  This is not a good time to start crawling.  I thought I asked you to wait until the Christmas decorations were tucked back in their boxes in January.  Hell, they’re not even untucked from their boxes yet!

It’s weird.  With Theo, I wanted him to hit every milestone early or right on time and got myself into a panic at times if he wasn’t doing just what every other kid his age was doing.  Or what every book or website said he should be doing.  With Dexter, I just want him to slow down.  Aside from the emotional issues attached to my baby not wanting to stay a baby (again? gah.), there are the logistical issues.  He’s so much smaller at six months than Theo was at nine, when he started crawling.  He has less physical control of himself, you know what I mean?  I remember Theo falling on his face and busting his lip while he was learning to crawl.  And he was THREE whole months older than Dexter is now.  I dunno, it’s probably a dumb thing to worry or think about, but I do. 

Mainly, I just want him to be my snuggly little baby forever.  It’s no mystery why women have one baby after another.  I guess they think eventually one of them might actually stay a baby forever.  Despite the nightmarish sleep issues we’re dealing with right now, babies are so precious.  Dexter was playing with something he shouldn’t last night, so I took it away from him, expecting him to cry.  He didn’t.  He didn’t even know the difference.  He was happy moving on to another toy.  I am not looking forward to the fits and tantrums.  Babies are so sweet and cuddly.  We’re still rocking Dexter to sleep, which I suspect is part of the problem that we’re having with night wakings – he doesn’t know how to go back to sleep on his own when he wakes up between sleep cycles.  But as soon as we start putting him to bed on his own, that’s the end of it.  That’s the end of rocking him to sleep.  Or at least it was with Theo.  And once it was done, there was nothing I wanted more than to steal those moments back. 

Ugh.

There’s a constant battle betwen the good and the bad.  I just keep telling myself, it’s just a phase…it’s just a phase…it’s just a phase…it won’t last forever.  And that’s good and bad.  Bad because this time in our lives is moving at warp speed.

All my life, I dreamed of my wedding day.  All my life, I envisioned what it would be like to be pregnant and to cuddle that sweet newborn baby.  These things are glamorized to little girls, you know?  No one really prepares you for the heartburn, the hemorrhoids, or the fact that these things come and go in the blink of an eye.  My wedding lasted 15 minutes.  And in retrospect, it doesn’t feel like my pregnancies lasted much longer than that.  Or my babies’ itty bitty stages.

I know they are still little.  We are having the time of our lives watching them grow and learn.  I do love having little kids and I absolutely believe that a few years from now, 20 years from now, and 50 years from now, I will look back in disbelief at how far from this time in my life I’ve gotten. 

The point is, part of me feels like sobbing because it’s over.  I got pregnant with Theo in June of 2009 and by May of 2011, in a flash, I was done having babies.  Done feeling them kick inside of me.  Done staring at them for the first time and memorizing every curve of their fresh little bodies.  It is such a blur now.  So, yes.  I understand why women want to keep re-living those moments by having another baby.  While that part of my life is over, at the same time, I know that we’ve just begun and the time of our lives lies ahead of us. 

~C~

Dear Dexter (6 month letter)

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

Dear Dexter,

It seems like I never know how to start these letters off without making some comment about how fast the time has gone and that I can’t believe you’re already this old.  SIX months!  We’re halfway to your first birthday and it feels like just yesterday that I was rubbing my belly, wondering if you would be a baby boy or a baby girl.

You love your brother.  Your blossoming relationship is one of the sweetest things I have the pleasure of watching as you both grow.  Sometimes he will lay his head in your lap and you rub his hair and touch his face with the biggest grin imaginable.  I love it.  Whenever he sits by or in front of you, you’re quick to reach out to him, usually resting your hand on his back.  You watch him, wherever he goes and whatever he does.  He’s a very entertaining little boy, isn’t he?

You are sitting up pretty well now, but not so well that I don’t place the boppy pillow around you on the floor.  You still flop back from time to time but you are getting better every day at finding balance.  You shocked your daddy and I this past week as you have figured out how to get up on your hands and knees in early attempts at crawling.  You’ll move your knees but not your hands, so you usually end up moving by falling forward and repeating the process.  It’s just a matter of time before you mastered this milestone and are off exploring on your own.  It must be a strange thing to only be able to go where others take you, and then suddenly being able to go where you want (within limits, of course).  I guess you are bound and determined to keep up with Theo.

You have eaten several baby foods and I guess you must take after your mama, because you love the fruits and just tolerate the veggies.  You haven’t been to the doctor yet for your 6 month checkup, but I know you’re growing.  As soon as I clean out your clothes and move up the next size, you are outgrowing everything again.  We just put you in 6 months and some of the pants are already getting too short.

Your hair is blonde and your eyes are blue (like mine!)…where did you come from, little boy?  I love that you have your own look and that people often say you look like me.  You still don’t have any teeth but we think you’ve been teething for several months.  What’s going on with all the slobbering, Dexter, if there are no teeth coming?  You go through about a bazillion bibs a day!  I’m in no hurry for your teeth to come in because then your cute little baby gummy smile is gone forever.

I love you, Dexter Jay.  I can’t imagine life without you.  You love to snuggle and I do too.  You have the sweetest giggle that is absolutely infectious.  The moments I get to share with you make my life better, make me want to be better.  I want to be around for you and your brother always.  Mommies are always sad when their babies grow up and become more independent.  We want our babies to love and need us forever.  It’s no different, the way I feel about you.  I see all that your brother can do and can hardly believe he was just a little baby like you are now a year ago.  Now that you’ve decided it’s time to crawl, you won’t be far behind him.

with your Aunt Cher

Just promise to keep giving me hugs, okay?  I’m infinitely proud of you, my precious boy.

Love always,
Mommy