how we ended up this way (homeless)

I know I have gone on and on about this but truthfully, it is dragging on and on and has been one of the most stressful times of my life. Our lives. We close on our house next Thursday, but I have to work next week so we pretty much have to be out of here by the end of the weekend. Meaning the boys are staying at nana and pop pop’s while we finish packing and move all of our stuff to storage.

It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday that we will not put our little boys to bed in this house ever again, after tonight. They won’t come back here. They won’t play with magnets on the fridge or kick a ball across the yard. This is it. It’s over. We’ve done all the living here we are going to do.

We carried 2 brand new babies up the sidewalk and through the front door. We painted nurseries and picked out baby names here. My dad died while I lived here and I cried myself to sleep more times than I can count. We were just 24 and 26 years old when we sat on the front step of the house and made an offer on it because we didn’t want to let it get away from us. We tore that step out and put in a big porch.

We have made so many memories here and I know we aren’t leaving the memories behind, but it feels weird. It feels bad. I can’t imagine some other ~~totally lame~~ family doing the same thing in my house. Our house.

Maybe it would feel different if we had somewhere to go. We did have somewhere to go, but it fell through. It didn’t fall through, we backed out. After the inspection we found out that this house…

this beautiful house that we had a contract on, needed a new roof in a few years. But not bad enough yet to replace, so we couldn’t justifiably ask for it. It needs a new roof in 4 years (ish). Well, as you can see, the roof is super steep. Which means it costs a lot more to replace. Like $20,000. That’s just not a burden we were willing to take on. So this house, which was starting to feel a lot like Home Sweet Home to us, turned into Nothing Sweet Nothing but a lot of wasted money (earnest money, inspection money…down the drain). But we made the responsible decision to forego this home knowing about the impending expense.

Of course that means now, that we have no home. We are going to stay with Ryan’s kind and gracious parents for a minute while we figure out what we’re doing. We are considering building, but we are still watching the market and hoping for that perfect home (with a flatter roof) that we can get into in a month or so.

Cross your fingers. Say a prayer. Knock on wood. Wish us well. Do whatever you want to do if you think it will help us find a home and not feel so homeless and hopeless.

So that’s what’s been going on. Has anything like this happened to you? Did people tell you a billion times it will all work out and everything will be okay? And did you roll your eyes because, while that’s true, it hasn’t and it’s not? I know I’m being dramatic. But y’all? This sucks. Bigtime.

~C~