What a week of mixed emotions! The weekend was great but these week days have been a different story this past 7 days. We are definitely in a time of transition as a family. Theo starts Kindergarten this year and Dexter will have a new teacher and be brotherless at Montessori School. It’s been an extremely busy week between trying to get things ready but we managed to squeeze in a lot of fun Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Linking up with Mindi,Stephanie, and Carrie for week 30 of Catch the Moment 365.

204/365: Thursday July 23rd. This day marked 8 years since my father passed away due to pancreatic cancer. Ryan knows this day is hard for me. I met a friend for dinner and meanwhile, my 3 special guys picked up a couple of pick-me-ups. Oh, I wish my dad was around to know my kids.

205/365: Friday, July 24th. At work, we had a team-building activity. I had never done one of these canvas class thingies but it was really fun. Another highlight of the day was finally meeting up with the boys’ best friends -another pair of brothers – from Montessori school at the park in the evening. Theo and Dexter had been missing their little buddies and they were so happy to get together after 2+ months apart.

206/365: Saturday, July 25th. Luke Bryan concert with friends!! An annual tradition. So much fun. 

207/365: Sunday July 26th. Another summer lake day at my in-laws’ house – these are too few and far between. We are trying to squeeze every drop out of summer! I am in love with my mother-in-law’s blue hydrangeas. 

208/365: Monday July 27th. Monday was a Monday in every sense of the word. Little things…big things. It just seemed like everything was going wrong. I overslept. Broke my only ponytail holder with hair that looked like I’d overslept. Spilled coffee all over my white shirt. Found out Dexter’s Montessori teacher is not coming back this year. Got a call from summer camp because Dex had a fever. Took Dex to the doctor to find out he had swimmer’s ear. And on and on and on. Forgot to take a picture until about 1158pm…this was all I could manage. My pathetic countertop.

209/365: Tuesday, July 28th. On Tuesday, we found out that Theo’s Kindergarten teacher had quit and would only be in the classroom the first 2 days of the school year. Of course this didn’t sit well with me. Tuesday was a very emotional and stressful day. Theo was quiet and shy at back to school night, not interested in saying hi to anyone and almost hiding behind me. I know he isn’t like that in my absence. I felt bad, seeing him acting nervous about Kindergarten for the first time. Afterwards, I laid in bed with him for awhile and asked him how he felt in his heart. He said “half red, half blue.” I’m not 100% sure what he meant but I said, “me too.” And I meant it. I know it’s normal…most kids go to Kindergarten. It’s not like we’ve never been apart before. But this feels different than any other change. It’s so big. No one knows him and he knows no one. Who is going to take care of him? Theo is far more confident than I am. I get teary-eyed every time I think of it. I just want it to be a couple months from now when we are in an established routine. We know teachers and expectations and the car pick up and drop off line. I dunno…it’s just hard knowing he is having emotions that he can’t express and there’s not a thing I can do to make this easier for him. He has to figure it out. He has to struggle with uncomfortable feelings. Experiences like this will contribute to the person he becomes. 

210/365: Wednesday, July 29th. Theo woke up with a fresh attitude. He even said “I wish today was my first day of Kindergarten instead of my last day of camp.” That made me feel so much better. Tonight at bedtime we were reading The Night Before Kindergarten and there’s a line that says the kids were excited and scared. I asked him if he felt excited and scared, he said yes. When I asked why scared, he said because he won’t know “one single person.” How does that feel when you’re 5? As an introvert, that feels TERRIBLE at 35. I’m glad he adapts more easily than I do. Time for bed….I’ve got a Kindergartner to wake up in the morning.

xo,

~C~