Disclaimer: Lots of whining and complaining. My blog, my right.

Anyone still reading this have an extra crappy week this week? The kind where day after day, it feels like hot steamy piles of poo are raining down on your head over and over? Seems like I know at least a few people that have had an extra terrible few days.

Just wondered.

Rather than go into a long list with bullet points detailing the variety of craps I dealt with this week, I’ll just say that it’s got to go up from here.  Right after my kids get over Hand, Foot, and Mouth (nice way to end the fantastic week).

This time last year, I was probably crying a million tears into my pillow because this Friday 52 weeks ago was the last day that my boys spent with their beloved babysitter….their original, first, one-in-a-million babysitter who can never be replaced. I love their little Montessori school and I’m excited for Dexter to start attending in August, but things are still…just not the same.

This time last year they probably never would have gotten Hand, Foot, and Mouth.

I miss the closeness and relationship. I miss the details. I miss that I could look at the clock anytime of the day and have a pretty good idea of what my kids were up to. Now I really have no clue what the structure of their day is like.  I don’t know if they spend the whole day in front of the TV or if they get along or fight. Just about every day is a “good” day. Which is good, I guess.  I just miss the way it used to be.  Maybe we were a little too enmeshed with our old babysitter at the time, but it worked for all of us.  The communication was helpful most of the time.

Our relationship with her has grown and transformed – now we are friends instead of business partners. I’m glad she and her family are still very much a part of our lives. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t still miss the way it used to be.

I’ve cried more this week than I’ve cried in a year.  It seems like something is backfiring, getting canceled, changing, or unpleasantly surprising me at every turn. At the end of the week, I’ve had enough. I’m ready for a change in mojo.

I hate feeling this way. I look around and see summer, feel summer, smell summer. The Spring and Summer months make up my favorite time of year. We have had some really great weeks this Spring and Summer. But this week has taken it’s toll and I’m done.

Bleh. Done with this depressing post. I just had to get it out.