I have to admit, I’m experiencing some anxiety over Theo’s first birthday party.  It’s coming up in 2 short weeks (and 2 days) and I’m getting nervous.  Feeling a little pressure.  There will be a lot of people and a short amount of time.  There will be babies his age and kids that are older.  Am I supposed to have activities to keep everyone entertained?  Because I’m thinking we’ll be lucky to make it through pizza, presents, and cake in 2 hours. 

Not to mention I am paranoid that Theo is going to have a crazy morning that day, thereby ruining all my visions of his perfect little celebration.  We picked the 12-2 time frame because that’s generally between his naps, but what if he’s off that day?  What if he refuses to nap and is ready to crash just in time for the party?  It could be disasterous.  What am I supposed to do with him while we are decorating for the party, which is not going to be at our house?  How am I going to manage to get the balloons, cake, and decorations in place while he is supposed to be napping?  How am I going to manage taking a million adorable pictures amidst all the chaos while still being present enough in the moment to enjoy it through him?  And what about the cake mess?  Since we’re not having the party at home, how am I going to get cake out of his hair before we put him back in his carseat?   

And the best (ha) part of all is that he won’t even know what hit him.  Of course, he is the one I’m most worried about pleasing and, party or no party, it’s just another day to him. 

I wanted it to be small but just with our immediate families, there are 15 people.  And then there are his little baby best friends that I wouldn’t dream of not inviting.  Parents included, that gets us up to about 30.  Then there are our friends who have the older-ish kids, the babysitter, and my grandparents and we’re at 40.  Egads.  I didn’t even invite our friends who don’t have kids and I’m feeling guilty about that but you have to draw the line somewhere, right?  With all that being said, I really want all those people there because they have been such a big part of Theo’s first year.

Maybe in the future we will do a family birthday dinner with cake and ice cream and then a baby friend birthday playdate.  That way everyone gets to enjoy Theo and vice versa.  And I get to enjoy everyone and …well I guess the vice versa part is subjective.  So that new idea I just came up with here and now has me feeling better about his birthday next year, but back to the panic attack…

Eeeeeeeeeeek!

Did I mention I’m somewhat stressed and depressed about the fact that my eensy weensy baby is almost ONE? (Yes, yes I did.)

Any suggestions?

freakin’ out,
~C~