baby number 2

the good, the bad, the big, and the little

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

My weekend:

Friday I got my biopsy results back…my tumor was indeed benign and pathology was able to confirm that it was a fibroadenoma.  I don’t know yet what that means as far as likelihood of it coming back or not.  I go to the doctor for my post-op follow up today and I’ve got a list of questions.  I didn’t expect the tumor to be cancerous, but without a biopsy, you never know.  It seems like a little piece of good news, but it could have easily been a big piece of bad news.

My friend, who had a biopsy a couple of days before me, wasn’t so lucky.  She has to wait a whoooole weeeeek between finding out that her tumor is cancerous and meeting with the doctor to find out what stage the cancer is in and what her treatment options are.  I texted her Friday to share my good news, hoping she had the same kind to share with me.  I tried to imagine her fear but I can’t begin to.  Breast cancer is a big, bad deal.  I hope the early detection lends itself to a great prognosis. 

Sunday morning, one of my best friends (who happens to be a nurse) was telling me the story of an out of control patient (who happened to be homeless) that literally lunged at her in an attempt to attack her.  She’d declined the assistance of the security guards because she wanted to spare her patient’s feelings when she confronted him about smoking in his hospital room.  While being so brave and compassionate, she put herself at risk.  I think she was truly scared and maybe she will reconsider the next time she puts a patient’s comfort before her own safety…but knowing her, probably not.  It’s one of the things I love about her the most.  That could have turned out really badly for her, and unfortunately it ended badly for her patient.  He signed out of the hospital against medical advice and was discharged to the streets in the freezing cold, with no shirt on his back and nowhere to go. 

While she was recounting everything that had happened, I felt this little baby move around in my belly for the very first time.  I counted four kicks and 2 swirly motions – I know, isn’t that a great description?  Although I was captivated and saddened by her story, I couldn’t help but smile at the little ways my sweet baby was saying “good morning, mommy.”  And that was really good.  It seems like a little thing, but it’s not.  Every day that I feel my baby move is a day that I don’t have to worry if he or she is okay in there.  Losing this baby would be a big, bad thing.  I’m so lucky to have made it this far into my pregnancy and I am trying not to take that for granted.

A few hours later, I learned that another one of my best friends’ grandfather had died.  This is not your average granddaughter-grandfather relationship.  We all expect our loved ones to grow old and pass away and be sad about it.  This friend’s grandparents have shaped her life in so many ways.  They have more or less been her parents.  The passing of this dear man isn’t just bad, it’s devastating.  What a beautiful life he lived though… he was married to his sweetheart for over 60 years.  In this day and age, who can say that?  It would be beyond good to spend that much time with anyone you loved.  They were the picture perfect grandparents, too.  Holding hands and bickering all the while.  And would have done anything in the world for anyone, not just each other.  Good, honest people  You don’t run into that every day.  Now we will see what happens to my friend’s grandmother, who’s Alzheimer’s has been getting worse and worse over recent months. 

So much smiling, so much crying.  Life is an interesting thing, isn’t it?

~C~

16 week check-up check in

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

It was uneventful, just as I predicted.  Not that I’m complaining.  We actually got in and out quite fast, but the doctor simply listened to the heart beat, which was a little tough to find at first.  It gave me a bit of a panic because I’ve known too many people who have lost babies recently.  Every time I go to the doctor, part of me is expecting to receive bad news.  I think it gets better as I get further into the pregnancy.  The little tiny heart was beating 140ish times per minute, which is perfectly lovely. 

She asked if we would find out what we are having and we said we plan to maintain the suprise element throughout the entire pregnancy, meaning that this little one’s gender won’t be revealed until delivery day.  She was excited and happy for us, saying that she didn’t find out with either of her children and that it’s one of life’s greatest mysteries and surprises.  She likes that her daughter (4 weeks older than Theo and 20 months younger than her big brother) wears her older brother’s blue shirts and bibs with tools on them all the time.  Blue is flattering on girls, right?  Who cares if people sometimes think she’s a boy…it’s no worse than people constantly telling us that Theo should have been a girl with those big eyes and all that hair.  And if she‘s a he, then we’re all set.
 
Anyway, she said we could come back in 2 weeks to do the fetal anatomy ultrasound, but I’d have to come back 2 weeks later anyway to see her, so we decided to do it all at the same time.  No rush since we aren’t finding out the gender this time.  We go back the first week of January.

Oh, she also reminded me that last time we talked about how the c-section is an option and that if I didn’t choose to go with a c-section, I would be induced early.  Like I could forget, duh. I didn’t really respond.  Nothing can be decided until I get further along into the pregnancy anyway.

Oh, and total weight gain so far: 1.6 lbs.  And that, my friends, is the 16 week check-up check in.

~C~

too many doctors

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

This week is full of doctor-y stuff.  Wednesday I have my 16 week check up (already?), Thursday is Theo’s 9 month check up (does he get shots for this one? I’m a bad mom and can’t remember), and Friday I’m having surgery.  Boo.

I’m expecting my 16 week check up to go like this:
1. Sign in
2. Wait
3. Pee in a cup
4. Wait
5. Get weighed and have my blood pressure checked
6. Wait
7. See the doctor so she can listen for the baby’s heartbeat and tell me to come back in 2 weeks (if I want to) to find out the baby’s gender (or wait until I’m 20 weeks when my next doctor’s appointment will be scheduled
8. Leave after spending a total of 5-10 minutes with the doctor, but an hour at the doctor’s office

I don’t know what to expect at Theo’s appointment Thursday.  I am excited to see how much he’s grown.  It’s been 3 whole months since he was weighed or measured!  But about the shots?  Does he get them this time?  I really don’t know.  I guess I’ll give him some Tylenol beforehand, just in case.

Surgery? you ask.  Yes.  When Theo was 3 or 4 weeks old I noticed a small, hard spot in my breast and asked about it at my 6 week check up.  Doc didn’t like it so he sent me to a specialist.  They say it’s either a lactating adenoma or a fibroadenoma.  Either way, it has to come out.  They’ve been monitoring it via ultrasound every 2 months and it hadn’t changed much at all.  Until I got pregnant, anyway.  It was 2.0cm and now it’s grown to 2.5cm in 3 short months. 

It’s rare.  When I win the lottery, I win big. 

Basically it’s a solid, benign tumor (we hope).  I was hoping to wait until I was done nursing Theo to have it removed.  They told me to have it taken care of before I got pregnant again because hormones tend to feed them.  Apparently so.  Well, I wasn’t done nursing when I got pregnant so obviously I didn’t have a chance to get it taken care of.  I could have had it out while nursing but breast feeding with an incision on my boob didn’t sound like a fun time so I was okay with waiting until Theo was done, provided that it wasn’t growing.

Now I’m not so comfortable waiting.  Not only is it growing rapidly now, I still plan on breastfeeding baby #2 for as long as possible (up to a year).  I’m not okay with waiting until May of 2012 with this unknown mass in my breast.  The surgery can only be done during the 2nd trimester so it’s now or never.  Well, May of 2012.  Long story, huh? 

The procedure: Friday morning I will go to the doctor’s office and they will use a local anesthetic to numb the area where the incision will be.  Using an ultrasound, they will insert a wire to mark the spot where the mass is because they have a tendency to roll around during surgery and they want to make sure they get the entire thing out.  After the wire is in, I go to the hospital where the surgery will take place.  It should last no more than 1 hour and I will be under “twilight” anesthesia, where I won’t be unconscious, but I won’t remember anything either.  Fine by me.  There is a slight risk of miscarriage (less than 5%) due to the procedure or the anesthesia, I guess, but it is very unlikely.  They will monitor the fetal heart rate to ensure that the baby is fine.  The mass will go to pathology for a biopsy to make sure that it isn’t malignant and I will go home and sleep a whole bunch.

Eek.

~C~