baby number 2

Dear baby (letter to my mystery)

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest
Dear mystery child of mine,
Much discussion has been had over who you are and much anticipation is felt over who you will become. I can’t believe you’ll be joining our family in just over 2 weeks. We are so excited to meet you and share with the world whether Theo will be a big brother to his baby sister or brother.
Either way, I’m thrilled. I picture having a baby girl and all the fun and challenges that would bring that are different from what a parent experiences with boys. I picture having another baby boy and my heart swells thinking about the lifelong friendship and bond that only brothers share. I wish for that bond between you and Theo regardless of who you are and who you both become.
We have been making lots of preparations for your arrival and now we are just waiting for time to pass so that you can grow and be strong on your birthday.
While pregnancy isn’t easy, and I’ve complained a lot about all the inconveniences of it, I wouldn’t trade carrying you to full term for anything. Every poke, nudge, and kick I feel from you reminds me that we are both so lucky to be healthy and I’m thankful that we’ve made it this far together. I’m not ready to share you with anyone else yet, so stay put for 2 more weeks, please. There will be plenty of hugs and kisses to go around when you get out here with everyone. 
I love you, my little mystery baby, and I can’t wait to see what you have in store for your daddy and me.
see you soon,
Mommy

35 week check-up check-in

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

My appointments are starting to get slightly more exciting (to me). 

I went to the doctor yesterday for my 35 week appointment, thinking she would do a cervical exam to see if I had dilated any.  She said we’ll start those next week.  Fine by me, they’re not much fun.

She measured my belly, it was right on schedule at 35 weeks.  She pushed and poked around on my stomach and said it feels like the baby is head down.  That’s good news – she’ll be able to tell better next week.  The heartbeat was the highest it’s ever been for this baby, in the 150s.  My blood pressure was 100/60.  My weight was down two pounds from two weeks ago so my total weight gain right now is 18 pounds.  Blood sugars are still good and there’s no need for insulin.  I have noticed a trend of them increasing somewhat but 90% of them (or more, probably) are within normal, nondiabetic range. 

I talked to my doctor about the fact that I am only getting 3-4 hours of sleep per day/night and I’m barely functioning.  I almost had a nervous breakdown right there in her office.  She prescribed Ambien CR.  Dilemma…she said to take it only when you have 8-10 hours to devote to sleep and not driving.  That’s fine on the weekend, but I only have 7 hours to devote to sleep each day through the week.  Maybe I can take 3/4 of a pill? 

We talked about my options and as long as my blood sugars and weight gain remain well-controlled she said I have three:
   1.) Have an amnio at 37 weeks and get induced then if the lungs are mature.
   2.) Get induced at 38 weeks without an amnio.
   3.) Schedule a c-section at 39 weeks. 

I don’t think I would ever voluntarily sign up for an amnio.  They are kind of scary, and from what I hear, painful too.  Plus 37 weeks just seems too soon.  I also am not in the business of signing up for major surgery that will require me to not pick up my almost 14 month old son for weeks.  Um, that’s not really going to work for me.  So I’m opting for number 2 and hoping that it doesn’t end up in a c-section.  Even with the mild shoulder dystocia we had with Theo, if everything goes as smoothly as it did with my last induction, I’ll be pleased as punch.

She’ll do an ultrasound at 37 weeks to try an get some measurements on the baby to make sure it isn’t too big for a vaginal delivery.  This makes me nervous – I know that the measurements and weight can be off by a pretty large margin of error. 

I asked if I would have to go in the night before for Cervidil again and she said it will depend on whether or not I am dilated any.  Last time I was only dilated 1cm at 39 wks so I went to the hospital at 630pm the night before my Pictocin induction.  I’d rather just go in the morning of the induction, but that will be a game time decision (unless I’m already dilated to 2 or more by 37 weeks or so). 

I also asked if my doctor is going to be on call on May 12 or 13 because she had mentioned it would be one or the other.  I was secretly (or not so secretly) hoping for a Friday the 13th baby, because that sounds kind of fun, but she’s on call on the 12th and I really hope I’m not still in labor by the time the 13th rolls around.  So, May 12th it is.  Exactly two weeks before my due date. 

I’m starting to think about all the things that could go wrong, but trying not to focus on them.  Just trying to keep my mind open, knowing that a birth plan is only a plan and anything can happen when it comes to babies.  Labor and delivery is so unpredictable. 

I can’t believe this is happening so soon – only three weeks to go. 

Sidenote – I dreamt the other day (during one of my “naps”) that I had four babies back to back (to back to back) and their order was Boy – Girl – Boy – Boy.  Interesting, yes?  I still have no clue what this baby is.  I’m leaning towards girl today, but my hunch changes just like the weather (which here in the Midwest means A LOT and rapidly). 

I’ll be packing my hospital bag and our new diaper bag on Monday!  It’s getting SO close. Packing the bag makes it so real, so scary, so soon.

that is all,
~C~

thoughts about baby

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

Last week was a slow bloggity blog week, I know.  I am not making grand promises about my blog this week.  I’m whiny and tired and I feel like no one wants to hear/see/read that.

I’m getting excited.  I’m getting scared.  I’ve been having weird pains.  I’m feeling bittersweet about this whole pregnancy thing.  I know it’s going to be ending very soon, which will open up my world in a whole new way.  A raw, sleep-deprived (more than now? really?) way.  I remember right after I had Theo thinking that it wasn’t so bad (at times) because I was SO exhausted that I could fall asleep instantly.  And I slept like a rock until he woke me up to eat again.  Granted, that might have only been for 90 minutes at a time, but there were some perks.  For example, I could sleep on my stomach again.  Heartburn didn’t keep me awake. 

I will go from one baby to two.  The beauty of one baby is that when he sleeps, the mama can sleep (in theory).  Since Theo gets up around 7, I’m not sure how that’s going to work out.  I originally intended to keep him home with me every day while I was on maternity leave.  I remember being really sad going back to work after he was born because I realized that I would never get the chance to spend that much time with him again, barring a horrible illness or some other reason I would have 12 weeks off work while he was a child.  Obviously I realized that any subsequent maternity leave would be a chance to spend 12 more weeks with him…but then there’s that pesky sleep thing.  So I have agreed, at my husband’s constant and persistent urging, to allow him to continue going to the babysitter 3 days a week.  To maintain his routine…to allow me to bond with the baby…to allow me to sleep when the baby sleeps…etc, etc, etc. 

I have mixed feelings about it.  He says I’m just trying to be supermom.  I’m not.  If I was a stay-at-home mom, I wouldn’t have a choice.  I wouldn’t be sending one baby away so I only had to deal with one at a time.  I feel guilty.  I feel like if I am home, my kids should be at home with me.  All of them.  Not at a paid babysitter.  Then my hubs reminds me that Theo LOVES his babysitter.  And he loves his baby BFF at the babysitter, G, who is 3 weeks younger than him.  He reminds me that the babysitter does activities and takes them outside and gets a good night’s rest and has lots of energy every day.  Oh.  Yeah.  That is true. 

But for whatever reason, I still feel like it’s a copout and I should be able to manage my two babies.  The babysitter is going to be managing 2 toddlers and 2 infants all by herself this fall.  That’s kinda insane!  Again, she gets a good night’s sleep, but still…I wouldn’t be able to/couldn’t do that. 

I am in a constant cycle of justifying keeping Theo home versus sending him to the babysitter.  I think the solution is that we will continue to pay the babysitter the same amount and if I want to send him, I’ll send him.  If I want him home, I’ll keep him home.  If I want to go pick him up early, I can do that too.  She’s super flexible, thank goodness, so hopefully we’ll just be able to play it by ear. 

Another thing about feeling torn over the whole pregnancy-ending-soon thing is that it’s kind of sad, having my babies so close together.  I don’t feel like I got to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I might have if they had been spaced out a little more.  What if we don’t have another baby and this is the last time I’m pregnant?  I’ll never feel those baby kicks and see my big baby belly again.  That’s kind of sad, once it’s over.  With that being said, I can totally understand why they (doctors?) don’t want you making any final decisions about tubal ligation while you’re in the middle of a pregnancy.  Right now, my answer would be “no way in hell.” 

I remember when Theo was about 2 months old thinking I could do it all over again.

be careful what you wish for,
~C~