Dexter

blooming.

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest
Dexter & Dawson
I gotta give it up to professional photographers.  It is not easy to get 2 babies to look in the same direction and smile simultaneously. 
Aren’t these two buddies the most precious little things?
Dawson’s mama and I went to college together and stayed in touch off and on through Myspace (oh, remember Myspace?) and Facebook.  We really started talking a lot more after I started my blog and then even more a few months later when she got pregnant. 
She always had questions for me about pregnancy, then labor and delivery, then about having a newborn.  Hey, I’m no expert, but I like feeling like one.  I always take an interest in my friends’ pregnancies and babies, that’s my thing. That’s what I love.  If I have a pregnant friend, you can bet I’ll be cheering them along throughout their pregnancy and pep talking them, pumping them up about how childbirth is what their bodies are built to do.  That the female body already knows how to give birth, even when the female mind is scared to death.  If they’d let me, I’d be in the delivery room with pom poms and a megaphone.  Maybe that wouldn’t be so helpful.
Alas…
Some friends appreciate it, some friends blow it off.  Dawson’s mama, I guess she appreciated it.  And I appreciate that.  And since her sweet little peanut was born last August, we’ve become pretty good friends.  Almost daily texters.  We went from just talking about babies to a whole lot more.  I like it.
Sometimes friendships bloom where you least expect them.  Sometimes they wilt when you never thought they would.  I’m thankful for my new and blossoming friendship with Dawson’s mommy.  Even though we live an hour apart, we’ve made a point to get together quite a bit.  Every relationship takes a little work, you know.  I guess the ones that were meant to wilt…just wilt.  The ones that are meant to bloom will flourish.
Maybe motherhood bonded us.  Maybe it’s what has made other friends of mine drift away.  Maybe some friendships aren’t supposed to span lifetimes.  Maybe they’re just intended to support you through a particular phase of life.  Maybe that’s all this is, but I hope not.
So us two moms, we’ve decided that our little silly billies will be friends.  We will force their little baby friendship to bloom, whether they like it or not. 
So far?  So good. 
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Happy Tuesday.
~C~




my 9 month old babe.

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest
Dexy went to the doctor last Thursday and at 9 months, my lean machine weighed in at 18 pounds, 6.5 ounces.  I was sure he’d be closer to 20 but I guess he’s doing alright.  He gained three pounds but only grew 1” since his last visit.  I couldn’t believe that he hadn’t grown much considering how all of his pants seem to get too short after about the third wear. 
He’s in the 16th percentile for weight (up from 12th) and 39th for height (down from 69th).  I guess he’s getting a little more proportional.  I remember going into Theo’s 9 month appointment cool and confident because he didn’t have to get any shots.  Then all my dreams were dashed when the doctor basically said he might be delayed because he wasn’t crawling.  Then, a week later, he was crawling, pulling up, and cruising all at once.  Anyway, I felt good going into Dexter’s 9 month appointment knowing he wouldn’t get shots AND because he’s been crawling, cruising , and pulling up for a solid 2 months now.
There was a nurse practitioner student there.  I don’t know if she is just doing clinicals at the office or if she’s really interested in Peds, but she should study harder.  She came in and did her assessment before the doctor did a real one.  She was checking him out in the ol’ diaper area and I asked her if she noticed any signs of a hydrocele.  She gave me a puzzled look and I said “are you familiar with hydroceles?”  She shook her head no and I proceeded to explain what they are.  She also said that Dexter was the skinniest baby she had seen.  Really?  Come on.  He’s not malnourished or anything. 
The doctor came in and did all the same things she did, only better.  He did say his hydrocele was gone, as far as he could tell, and that we didn’t even need to go back to the surgeon if we didn’t want to.  The NP student piped up and said “he’s underweight!” like she made a medical discovery.  I furrowed my brow and looked at the doc.  He glanced at Dex’s growth chart and said “no, he’s not.”  Then he went on to explain to her how growth works.  You know, because that’s confusing.  He’s growing.  He’s gaining weight.  And he’s doing both on a smooth curve alongside the bigger children.  He’s thin.  He’s not “underweight.”  The doctor gestured to me and said “his parents are thin, he’s just thin.”  Well, thank you, doctor.  I will take that compliment and run with it.  
I really hope it was her first day.  I really hope Peds is not her specialty.
Here’s where I stereotype.  I thought she would have a bit more sense considering the fact that she was 40+ and mentioned straight off that she had two teenage children of her own.  Wrong.  That’s rude of me to say, right?  Because I probably would have given a 22 year old NP student more of a break.  Eh. Difference this time?  I knew she was wrong!
Signed,
the mother of children that are perfect in every way.

sometimes it’s just not what you want it to be.

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

Sometimes it’s more wonderful than you ever imagined. 

Other times it’s just one disappointment after another.  Valentine’s Day was one of these times.

I was picturing crap like this.  To be fair, this was taken just one day before Valentine’s Day.
My expectations for Halloween were minimal and it was one of the unexpectedly happiest days I’ve had as a parent.  I could have called in sick to work after Trick or Treating because my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.  Yesterday, I pictured Valentine’s Day hugs and kisses and snuggles and kids that eat their food, but didn’t get much satisfaction. 
I picked up the kiddos from our babysitter and naturally, Theo threw his standard fit while I put his coat on.  Fit Number One.  All the way home he whined “I wanna see daddy” so I called R to tell him to make sure he’s waiting for us when we get home so he can get Theo out of the carseat.  Apparently this is a big deal to our little one and he has been in a mommy mood lately, shouting “mommy dooooo it” anytime R tries to get him out of the carseat.  
So there’s R, waiting to get him out and as soon as the door is open, Theo starts whining “mommy doooo it!” Fit Number Two. 
I made homemade pizza for dinner, because I thought that would be a fun treat for everyone (including myself -yum!).  While it was in the oven, I set up the boys’ cards and presents from us, their grandparents, and their aunt & cousin.  Dumb me. I didn’t think about the fact that there was candy involved.  Regrets (why didn’t I just give him the frickin’ candy before supper? It’s Valentine’s Day for crying out loud).  Fit Number Three. They did love all their little presents, and that made me and my mommy heart smile.
Dexter felt like crap and didn’t want to eat.  Not only did he refuse his food, he did not want to sit at the table with the rest of us so we could eat.  In peace.  Meanwhile, Theo was fixated on candy and didn’t want pizza.  At all.  Queue Fits Number Four and Five. 
Baths went okay.

Then there was the part about how the daddy tried to put Theo’s jammies on and he screamed MOMMYYYYYYYY DOOOOOO IT!  Although he had no problem with daddy giving him a bath.  The kid is nuts.  Fit Number 62.
There were other catastrophes, like not being allowed to watch Doodle Bops and putting ointment on rashes and being told to clean up toys that elicited Fits 205-234. 
 
Oh, bedtime.  Let’s not leave bedtime out.  Dexter couldn’t have been happier to go to bed.  Theo couldn’t have been more depressed.  Let’s finish the night off with Fit Number 23 Jillion. 

Happy Flippin’ Valentine’s Day.
P.S.  I lost my lens cap for a couple hours, which resulted in turning the couches upside down and tearing the kitchen and living room apart.  And also? My amazing, kind, loving husband dug through the trash (that was already outside for morning pickup) looking for it.  Then I found it under an end table.  I’m pretty sure I didn’t put it there for safe-keeping.  Perhaps a child or four-legged friend thought it would be a hilarious practical joke to play on mama.  Didn’t laugh, not funny, you lose.

On a positive note, my sweetheart surprised me with some potted tulips and a nice card that made me cry.  Well, I don’t know if the card made me cry or the culmination of events made me cry, but that card and those tulips somehow made things better. 
Today will be a better day.  Today will be a better day.  Today will be a better day.
Valentine’s 2012 with the boys was a bust.  Luckily, the husband and I got to go on a date over the weekend that was a bit rushed, but completely perfect.  We don’t need Valentine’s Day to show each other that we care, but every once in a while we need a night without kids to reconnect and focus on the feelings that got us here in the first place. 

The moral of the story? Don’t set the bar too high.  Have realistic expectations of your toddler and infant when you envision the perfect ____________ (insert whatever you wanted to be perfect here). 
Check and check.  Done.

At the end of the day, I know I am blessed beyond measure to have these three special guys in my life.  Fortunately, all my love eggs weren’t in this heart-shaped basket.  There will be plenty of love to go around the rest of the year. 
Love,
~C~