Dear Dexter (three month letter)

Posted on August 13, 2011 by mommyinthemidwest

Dear Dexter,

Where do I begin? What do I love most about three-month-old you? Hard to say but it is somewhere between your smile and your snuggles. I love the way you calm down when you are placed in my arms. I love watching you slip into dreams with your head inside the bend of my elbow. I love kissing the top of your head with my eyes closed and breathing in your scent. In those moments, nothing else matters. I love the softness of your skin and the weight of your small body.

minutes old

I went back to work full-time this week and it has been so hard on me. I can’t say for sure, but I think you have been pretty relieved to see me at the end of the day, too. You aren’t used to being away from me so much and I feel the same way. It was so nice spending those first 12 weeks together, wasn’t it? We’ve chosen a wonderful babysitter to look after you while we’re apart and Theo loves her. You will too.

4 days old

You smile all the time and it makes me laugh every time I see your wet pink gums. A mommy forgets that toothless grin once teeth have filled up her baby’s mouth. You have just one dimple, just like mommy and Theo. Right now, your eyes are still blue and I hope they stay that way. Most people say you look like me and I have blue eyes, so I’m staying optimistic. Your gramps had blue eyes too, you know. I took after him, just like you take after me.

2 weeks old

Just an observation – it’s funny that Theo takes after your daddy but he’s named after mine. You, Dexter Jay, are named after your daddy’s dad and you take after me. We call you Dexter Jay a lot more than we ever call your brother Theodore Jack. You go by Dex a lot of the time, especially when I’m writing your name. We call you Bit Bit sometimes – a variation of Lil’ Bit that came about shortly after we brought you home from the hospital. Other nicknames that slip out on occasion include Desster, Dexy, Deester, and Deezy. Your dad called you Pizza Face when you had baby acne and I told him that was mean. Then he called you Scales when you had cradle cap. I yelled at him for that, too. You’re welcome. I’m here for you.

almost a month old

I don’t know how long Bit Bit will be appropriate. You are growing faster than your big brother did at this age. I remember when we first sent him to the babysitter, he drank 3oz bottles. You aren’t even satisfied with 4oz bottles anymore. You are a hungry little man and you love your milk. Lately I’ve noticed you looking at our plates as you sit with us in the Bumbo at the dinner table. Thank goodness for the Bumbo, Dexter Jay. Until about 2 weeks ago, you made us hold you, without fail, every time we sat down to dinner. Now you’ve realized that you can see everything much better from the Bumbo and you love it! You’ll sit there for as long as 30 minutes sometimes.

6 weeks old

You are getting strong. You don’t need any help at all holding your head up and you can do mini-pushups when placed on your belly. You can stand on my lap and bear your own weight for up to a minute or two sometimes now. Your grip is like no other baby’s grip I have ever felt! You must know that you’ll have to be tough to survive Hurricane Theodore. No worries, I think people will be mistaking you two for twins in 4 or 5 year and you may be bigger than him before you go to middle school. It’s going to be so interesting and fun, watching you grow up together.

father’s day ~6 weeks old

You are still wearing 0-3 month clothes and I’m glad. We have so many cute things of Theo’s left for you to wear, plus all the new stuff you’ve gotten from your grandmas and friends. Speaking of clothes, we change yours a lot. Sometimes you puke for no apparent reason and other times, your diaper just can’t contain all that you have to give. Then there’s the times when you get so sweaty riding in the carseat that your back is soaked by the time we get where we’re going. That’s probably the one thing that makes you the angriest that I can’t fix. You’re hot-natured like your brother and dad.

4th of July parade

Riding in the car is hit or miss. Sometimes you go right to sleep. Other times you scream (usually because of the sweatiness, I think). My favorite times are when you are calm and alert, looking around and absorbing the world all around you. It’s a big world, Dexter Jay. Bigger than you’ll probably ever know. But I hope you get a chance to explore every corner of it that interests you because it is simply spectacular. And the world is more amazing now because you are a part of it. I haven’t seen as much of the world as I hope to one day, but I know one thing. My world is perfect now, because you are here.

2 months old

Sleep… I was so worried that nighttime would be a nightmare for your dad once I went back to work. We weren’t as good about getting you into a bedtime routine as we were your brother. But you have kinda made your own way in that area. You get sleepy anywhere between 8 and 9:30 so we’ll hold you in the living room (or rock you in your room, now that it’s no longer a guest bedroom as well) and kiss your little cheek before we say good night and lay you in your crib. In the last week, you’ve only woken up once before it was time to get up and your dad just held and rocked you for a few minutes and you went right back to bed. Nice of you to start that just as soon as I went back to work. I think you know I’m gone, so you know there’s nothing to wake up for. But that’s just between you and me, kid.

11 weeks old

12 weeks old

And finally, baths. Bathtime is weird. Sometimes you scream bloody murder like I just sat you on hot coals (I always check the temperature of the water before I put you in!) and sometimes you are just fine. I never know what to expect. I hope you learn to like the water soon, because you’ve got a lot of lake swimmin’ to do next year.

first bath with Theo – 3 weeks old (and then you pooped).

So, also your last bath with Theo.

Yesterday, for your 13 week birthday (ok not for but on) we went to the fair. Hard to believe you are already a quarter of the way to your first birthday. It’s just flying by too fast. Can you slow down just a little bit for mom? Please, Bit Bit?

I’m lucky to be your mama and I hope we’ll always be close.

I love you,
Mommy

firsts

Posted on July 12, 2011 by mommyinthemidwest

Over the weekend, both boys had a couple of big firsts. On Sunday, we went to my husband’s parents’ house. Nana and Pop Pop live on a small lake and one of the highlights of our summer is to spend time floating on rafts and taking pontoon boat rides. Last year, Theo was too young to get in the lake, but this year we thought he should give it a try. Theo just loved it and we were shocked that he lasted over an hour in the water.

He didn’t fuss to get out but it was clear that he was tired so we took him up to the house to take a nap. I wanted to check on Dexter anyway, who was hanging out inside with Nana. He was lying on the activity gym that Theo loved so much as an infant, just looking and batting at the dangling toys. Then, right there before my eyes, he flipped over from his back to his belly. I could not believe it. It’s kind of funny that I had just asked the dada not too long ago if he thought it would be as exciting for us when Dexter started doing things as it was when Theo did them. It was. Nana had gone into the kitchen to work on dinner. The little sneak is only 8 weeks old and he rolled over as effortlessly as if he had been doing it for months. Naturally, I was the only witness and he refused to do it again. But he did it. I swear!

I love summer!
~C~

“rough patch”

Posted on July 9, 2011 by mommyinthemidwest

I started this blog (and named it “rough patch”) on 6/28/11 with the following:

I often remind myself not to compare Dexter to Theodore, but it’s virtually impossible. Daily, I’m surprised at how much is already so difficult to recall. What did I do when Theo did this? How old was Theo when he started doing this or stopped doing that? Despite my efforts, I repeatedly find myself saying “Well, when Theo was 8 weeks he slept through the night for thr first time, so that must mean he was only waking up once a night by the time he was 6 weeks” or “I don’t think Theo cried this much at this age.”

Then I recall talking to the doctor (at Theo’s 1 or 2 month appointment?) about colic and wondering if Theo had it. I remember telling my mom that Theo must be the unhappiest baby in the world because he cried so much and asking myself “what am I doing wrong?” a hundred times a day. And I look at him now and know that, while I may not do everything by the book, I have one of the sweetest, funniest, happiest little boys I can imagine.

Unfortunately, that’s not always enough to ease my mind while in the throes of one of Dexter’s fits. Or enough to relax me when I’m up for the fourth time in as many hours during the night. There are certainly similarities between Dexter and Theo at this wee stage, but some new challenges particularly because of Theo.

And today, 7/9/11, is the first time I’ve had a chance to complete my thoughts and this blog entry.

So, since I started this blog 2 weeks ago, things have gotten better, although I didn’t really get a chance to go into all the details. I hate that I have not been able to blog because I have had so many things I wanted to jot down that I have already forgotten. Dexter showed me his first sly smile at 4 weeks. And yes, I’m sure it was a real smile. Now, at 8 weeks and 1 day, he offers them freely and they make everything worthwhile. About 2 weeks ago he scared me with the worst case of baby acne I have ever seen. It came on so fast and seemed to be spreading rapidly so I quickly consulted with the pediatrician to ensure that baby acne was all that it was, and not an allergic reaction to something I was eating or putting on my skin. The doctor explained that newborns between the age of 1 and 2 months go through a “mini-puberty” while the leftover hormones are leaving their bodies. The acne cleared up as quickly as it came on.

We made a quick trip south to visit my family for the weekend of July 4th. Dexter got to meet his aunt, uncle, and two first cousins and got to visit with Grammy again for the first time since he was 2 weeks old. Surprisingly, Dexter slept A LOT in the car both ways and it didn’t seem to affect his night sleep. But when he was awake in the car…oof. It was ugly. He has a high need/desire to be held all. the. time. Luckily he slept over half the way down there and back.

Theo is amazing me more each and every day. I look at Dexter and wonder how this little lump of snugly goodness will learn so much in the next year. We are having so much fun with Theo. Every stage that he enters is better than the one before and I’m curious when that all starts to reverse or slow down. I love to watch him learn and make connections. He is talking nonstop now and repeats almost anything we say (good or bad). He still barely says “mama” at home but the babysitter recently informed me that he has been saying it for months and will point to my picture on the family wall and say “mama” on command. Little sneak.

Theo has been clingy to me ever since Dexter was born. It’s not to the point that it’s bothersome but sometimes it’s a little inconvenient…like, when I’m nursing and he wants to lay across my lap or smother Dexter in hugs and kisses.

I have less than 4 weeks of maternity leave left and the bitter reality is setting in. I’m trying not to focus on it but it’s always in the back of my mind that this precious time is winding down.

Oh, something really fun was a couple of weeks ago when my friend and I took our toddler boys (same age) to the zoo while I left Dexter with his grandparents for the day. I realized that for the majority of Theo’s life I was pregnant and therefore haven’t felt good enough or had enough energy to do a lot of fun things with him. I had been miserable ever since he could walk. It was so much fun doing an activity like that with him when I didn’t have to worry about Dexter throwing a fit or needing to find a private place to nurse. Of course I thought about how different things would have been up to this point had we not gotten pregnant with Dexter when we did, but when I picked Dexter up from Nana and Pop Pop, I was ready to snuggle with him and kiss the skin right off his little face. I missed him during those 6 hours apart and I can’t imagine having to wait another day to have him in our lives.

So, that’s it in a nutshell…so many feelings and situations have come and gone and I hate that I haven’t been able to keep up with every detail. The problem has been our computer…it must be in remission today, because I haven’t been able to get it to even turn on for almost a week. The battery is just shot and we keep putting off getting a new one because I want to get a good (read: expensive) one that can easily handle processing high resolution photos and videos. Anyway, I think we’re close to getting a new one and then I will be bloggin’ Betty once again. And my blogs will feature photos of my cute boys much more often. This dumb computer gets bogged down when I just upload photos to it, forget editing or doing anything else with them.

Oh. And by the way, Dexter slept 8 hours on the day he turned 8 weeks old. There’s hope after all.

be back soon,
~C~