everyday life

this just feels wrong.

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

This post will from here on out be called “the one where she whines a lot.”

Something’s not quite right.  I was off work for 11 days.  11 glorious days.  A while back, I talked about how I felt guilty for not wanting to be a stay at home mom.  For liking my job.  For liking the chance to get out of the house and talk to other adults.  For wanting to use my college degree 40 hours a week.  Or 37.5…whatever. I work for the government.  Point is…

I’ve changed my mind.  I take it all back. 

I want to be a stay at home mom.  There.  I said it.

As I was leaving work a week and a half ago, it struck me that I have not had that much time off work (excluding maternity leave) in about three years.  I hadn’t been able to take any vacations because I was always saving up time for maternity leaves.  It was the first time I’ve had a chance to take time off while the babies were sleeping through the night and just … well… generally pleasant to be around 90% of the time.

Finally…I was off work.  And?  The boys were generally pleasant to be around.  Scratch that.  They were a blast.  My 10 year old niece from Tennessee also spent her Spring Break with me so that gave me another person to have conversations with.  We went to the zoo.  We went shopping.  We went to the park.  We went out to eat (a lot). 

Going back to work last night, something just felt off.  Just wrong.  I didn’t want to go back.  I didn’t want to send them to the babysitter this morning.  I kept thinking, it’s not fair.  Someone else shouldn’t get to spend more time with my kids than I do.  Even though I was only off work for a week and a half, it felt like longer.  It felt kind of like going back to work after maternity leave.  I didn’t want to leave my babies.  I want to be with them.  I miss them.  I miss out.  Over the last week and a half, I got to be there for so many cute, every day moments. 

Theo’s vocabulary and ability to express himself has soared in the past couple of weeks.  Now he says stuff like “guess what, mommy?” before telling me about something that’s important to him.  Now he says stuff like “Hello? It’s me,” while he’s playing with his toy phone.  All day Saturday and Sunday he said “Spencer’s coming tonight and he’s going to ride Pop Pop’s tractor with me!”  Oh yeah, and he also says things like “I’m going to sit on the couch and watch doodlebops for a few minutes.”  No lie.  Just one more.  “I’m going to sit at the table and color a little bit.”  I can only imagine how many of those phrases I would have missed if I had been at work all week. 

This week, I’m gonna miss them all.  I’m gonna miss everything.  I’m gonna work and stare at my computer.  I’m gonna stare at their pictures on my desk and hope that the lump in my throat doesn’t interfere with my ability to do my job.  I’m gonna wish I could kiss them first thing in the morning and as I put them down for their naps.  I’m gonna wish I could clean up their lunch messes and toy piles.  I’m gonna wish I could take them for afternoon wagon rides and ice cream treats just because. 

I’m gonna miss everything.  I’m gonna miss it all. 

working sucks.
~C~

comfort food: this ain’t your granny’s shepherd’s pie.

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

It’s my dad‘s.  It is nothing fancy, but it’s warm and the flavors and textures are just right on a winter day.  It’s one of the few things I remember my dad cooking and I always loved it.  I didn’t have much in the cupboards or fridge last night, but I had what I needed to throw this together.  It was just as yummy as I remembered, so I thought I would share.

There are no veggies in this shepherd’s pie. No gravy. And that’s how we like it.  Three layers: cheese. mashed potatoes. sloppy joe meat (or something like it).

~Jack’s Shepherd’s Pie~

Preheat the oven to 350ish.  Make some instant mashed potatoes (or real ones, if you’re crafty like that. But the point here is quick and easy on a weeknight, so whatevs…).

Start by browning a pound of ground beef or ground turkey in a large skillet. 

How do you make sloppy joes?  I just squirted some ketchup and barbeque sauce in the skillet.
And voila!
Spread the meat in a square baking dish.  Preferably a cute blue one like mine.
Spread the mashed potatoes over the meat mixture.
Dump a bunch (or about a cup) of shredded cheese on top and spread it to the edges of the dish.  I prefer sharp cheddar but I had colby & monterey jack on hand so that’s what we used.
Put it in the oven and start the timer for 15 minutes. 
Hint:  It improves efficiency in the kitchen if you can find a couple of helpers to get things out of drawers for you and hold on to your legs while you walk back and forth.
When that timer goes off, I like to leave the oven door cracked and turn up the heat to broil until the cheese starts turning brown and getting a little crunchy. 
Not as brown as I’d like it, but when you have hungry mouths to feed, you have to make sacrifices! 
The verdict?
It’s in his mouth (this equals success) AND he {almost} cleaned his plate.  Yummy.
If you try it, let me know what you think.  Jack would be proud.
~C~

what the dudes are doing

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest
My little Friday the 13th boy celebrated his 8 month birthday this past Friday.  Friday the 13ths will always make me smile. 
He’s not one to disappoint on his monthly b-days, so at 8 months, he is sporting some new moves.  For instance, this face: 

It must have something to do with teething, right?  He’s getting his second tooth (I can almost feel it) and all weekend, he was sucking that bottom lip in.  I swear, he doesn’t always just live in pajamas.
I think it was Friday night that he decided it would be cool if he just started standing up and letting go.  Then he waits for us to notice and gets a big grin on his face when we start clapping.  Right before plopping down on his tush.  Once he lunged forward.  I’m not sure if he was just falling or trying to take a step towards me.  This kid is going to walk before his birthday, I just know it. Thing is, he’s tiny.  He has no business walking.  Hop on up in mama’s arms and stay little.  Mmmkay?
Look, ma!  No hands.




one hand

 

no hands



try again.
And y’all – whether it lasts or not remains to be seen.  But it seems as though this guy may finally be sleeping through the night.  It only took 8 (exhausting) months. More about this later!
*********
Well, what’s that other dude been doing?
Keeping up on his oral hygiene, of course.
Eating the meal of all meals – yogurt, a hot dog, and a pickle.  Dee-lish.
Snuggling up to Niko.
Hanging out with friends, Max & Mik. 
(Don’t they look like they could be Dexter’s cousins?)
Reading books to brother.
And finally…
Shouting “pee pee potty!” when it’s already too late.  Then squirming and wiggling away when I try to take his picture on the potty.  What?  Don’t all moms take pictures of their kids on the toilet and post them on the internet?  Maybe I should rethink this…nah.
Newsworthy:  We had no plans this weekend other than getting the Christmas decorations put away.  Success! We did the majority of it during Theo’s 3 hour nap on Saturday.  Perhaps that was mean – he was pretty traumatized when he got up and everything was gone.  Once he noticed the tree had been taken down, he went looking for every string of lights that had been up.  It was sad, following him around as he searched for any trace of Christmas. All in all, it was a nice, relaxing weekend after being sooo busy these past few weeks.
Lastly, I have to say that the weekend would have been better had I not been made aware of some heartbreaking news.  I learned that sweet little 2 year old Tripp Roth lost his battle with epidermolysis bullosa on Saturday morning.  No, I didn’t know him or his mother personally but their story has gripped my heart since I stumbled across their site on Top Mommy Blogs.  Take a moment to read about Tripp. You will fall in love with him.  He has so many admirers – I think tears were falling all around the world this weekend.  Rest in peace, little man. 
so thankful,
~C~