everyday life

more rambling – childcare update

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

Hard to believe it’s been almost 6 months since The Babysitter of the Year told us she was quitting. Closing. Whatever.  That was truly one of the hardest things we’ve been through as parents.  Stressful. Unexpected. Struck fear in my heart and opened me up to a world of uncertainties and insecurities.  On July 1st, we took them both to a new in-home sitter and on August 7, Theo started attending Montessori pre-school three days a week.  

How’s it going? 
It’s going …. good.  The transition was hard and it took longer than I expected but I can say confidently now that things are good.  Am I glad now that it happened this way?  Not necessarily, no.  The boys still miss her. I miss her. I miss her kid. The boys still talk about her.  The current situation is that Dexter goes to the new sitter every day and Theo goes there on Mondays and Fridays.  Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday he is at school.  Not too long ago, after a day at the sitter, Theo was going on and on about his day and the fun that he’d had.  I asked him if he liked school and he said yes.  I asked him if he liked the new sitter and he said yes.  I felt my heart grow warmer as a peace settled over me.  Then, like a moron, I asked him if he had to choose, where he would go every single day. 
He paused, and then said “I would go back to E’s because that’s the best place for me.  I know that’s the best place for me.”  
And then my heart about shattered into a million pieces.  Months later, he’s still missing her and wishing he could go back.  Me too, son.  That’s not to say that I don’t love his school.  I do. We do.  We all love his school.  His teacher loves him and has great things to say about his growth there.  I have noticed him growing up, acting older, since he started there.  I don’t know if that’s always a good thing, but I guess it was bound to happen one way or the other. I do believe that it’s been good for him to be the youngest kid instead of the oldest.  He’s learning about social cues and rules and expectations.  He’s growing more independent.  It’s been amazing to watch him change in a short time.  But it’s still sad.  
Theo was having some behavior issues before this transition and I now deeply believe that it was due to being the oldest and possibly under-stimulated.  E suspected this and told me this the day she said she was closing.  I didn’t want to hear it but the simple truth is that he’s had a handful (or less) of issues since the switch.  Because of Theo’s wacky antics, I really thought if anyone was going to struggle, it’d be him.  He can be downright rigid and stubborn and I knew how attached he was to her. I can only assume that Theo’s ability to verbalize his thoughts and feelings helped him in a way that Dexter was not able to process. 
Dexter really struggled more (visibly) than Theo and much more than I expected.  There was a lot of crying every day at dropoff, clinging to me, and not wanting to go. Crying on the way there and begging not to go.  Saying he didn’t like it there. Crying when I picked him up.  I spent quite a few of my drives to work in tears myself, thinking THIS SUCKS.  Stomachaches, wishing for nothing more than to be a stay at home mom.  I have nothing but kind words for the two ladies that care for him, but it’s not the same personal experience that we had with E.  As soon as things started to settle initially, Theo started going to school and we had to go through a transition all over again.  The roughest part lasted about two months. But now here we are, almost 5 months into this and Dexter absolutely loves going there. 
This morning, on the way he says: 
No, that’s not J’s house.
No, that’s not J’s house.
No, that’s not J’s house.
No, that’s not J’s house. 
YAY! That’s J’s street!!
No, that’s not J’s house. 
No, that’s not J’s house. 
No, that’s not J’s house. 
YES! That’s J’s house!! 
I pulled in the driveway and reached into the back to unbuckle him from his seat and put his coat on before getting out of the warm, cozy car.  As soon as I unbuckled him, he hopped down from his seat and said:
That’s okay, I go in by myself. Have a good day, mommy!  
Excuse me, two year old child?  I think I will continue to walk him in for a little while longer.  Anyway, about 3 out of 5 days a week I don’t even get a hug from him because he’s too busy running off to play with his friends and doesn’t have time for me. I’ll totally take that over the alternative.
xo,
~C~

fourth minute of fall photo dump

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

In the springtime, I have the boys outside at every given opportunity, just because I’m full of glee that winter has come to an end.  They love it, I love it, everything’s peachy.  Then sometime in July or August, it gets so insanely hot that you can barely breathe while walking to the mailbox so you can forget about playing tag and running circles around the house.  The only way to play outside is in a pool or lake.  After that, there’s about 5 minutes of nice, fall weather before blizzard season sets in for 9 months.  Okay, like 6. Fine, 4.  Or whatever.  Anyway, we’re in the 4th minute of fall right now and I’m acutely aware that soon I will be right back in that there’s-no-way-in-hell mode when asked to play outside.  

But now that Theo’s engrossed in Legos and they are both obsessed with Disney movies, some days they don’t even show any interest in playing outside. Lame.  So today when Dexter asked to play outside after we got home, I scrapped any plans for a decent dinner in exchange for spending the last hour of daylight with my baby boy outside. Theo enjoyed playing in the leaf pile I raked until he’d destroyed it, then he was pretty much pouting until I let him go inside to play Legos.  I checked on him intermittently before dragging Dex back in so I could pop those frozen corn dogs in the oven for dinner.  So what? They loved it.

Oh, and as Dexter and I were putting toys back in the garage, Theo opens the door and asks to go on a wagon ride.  I was happy to hear that he’d changed his mind, but told him it was too late. At least I did something I’ve been FAILING at lately – I remembered to grab my camera to capture a few cute fourth minute of fall moments.

The purest, sweetest, most innocent joy.

I guess I don’t totally hate fall.

xo,
~C~

Labor Day weekend and then some

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest
Aug. 25, 2013.  My boys have taken to napping anywhere but in their beds.  Theo’s weekend naps are pretty much always on the couch now. I’m fine with that – it takes both of them 10 times longer to fall asleep at naptime when they are both in their room.
Dexter woke up shortly after falling asleep and asked to sleep with me in my bed.  He went right back to sleep…and I woke him up 3+ hours later.

The light in our room was just right for sneaking some pics.  I can’t imagine ever getting tired of watching them sleep.  Even when they’re zit-faced metal-mouth teenagers.

Fast forward to Labor Day.  My sister and her family came from Tennessee for the weekend.  They arrived very late Friday night and we were up before the sun Saturday morning with our early risers.  We traveled 90 minutes east to visit relatives.

Just another trip to our uncle’s alpaca farm.
Checking out Uncle Joe’s cool Corvette Stingray.
Aunt Sandy introducing Penelope to one of her babies.
After a long day of playing and no napping, we made the mistake of setting up dinner plans. Long story short, it was one of the most embarrassing parenting moments I’ve had. Both boys throwing fits (understatement of the decade) in the restaurant. Ryan and I functioning on 4 hrs of sleep. No thank you – we kindly skipped out of the restaurant and drove home.  The boys slept all the way home and then went right back to sleep in their beds after dinner.
Sunday I woke up with an eye infection … awesome.  We had made plans to go to Ryan’s parent’s house to swim in the lake. I got up early and fixed cheesy potatoes and grape salad. Yum & Yum.  We got down there a little after 11am and made a day of it. I ended up not taking my camera down to the dock for obvious reasons but did squeeze in a mini sesh with beautiful 8 month old Penelope Quinn.

She wasn’t in much of a smiling mood, this was about as close as we got to a smile Sunday.

I just love chubby little baby hands and arms and thighs and feet and…you know. Baby chubbiness.  So cute.
Monday morning we lounged around the house before heading to the outlet mall to check out the Labor Day deals.  After that it was time for my sweet sis and her amazing family to hit the road.  Sad to see them go, realizing after spending such quality time together how much we are missing by living so far apart.
Isabella and Malachi – my first niece and my first nephew. Now I have two of each.  These are 2 good kids.  REALLY good kids.  Love them to pieces.
They all left a little after 5pm and I went home to spend a little extra time with my own little fam.  Back to work. Back to school. Back to the babysitter.  We’re all getting back into our post-holiday routine. To toss in a little excitement, we went to the ice cream shop last night and then the library, which is right across the street.  The boys love this library, and so do I.  We let them check out books for the first time.
How’s that for a photo & info overload?  Now that we’re almost into another weekend, I hope your Labor Day weekend was great and I hope this coming weekend is too!
xoxo,
~C~