i need an instruction manual

and a crappy new year

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

Last week, in my quick post, I mentioned that I was disappointed that I didn’t get to take many pictures of Christmas and I was hoping to take more over New Year’s weekend as we celebrated with R’s family. 

Foiled again. 

Now I’m super sad that there aren’t many pictures of Dexter’s first and Theo’s second Christmas.  There are a few decent ones I will cling to for dear life, but this isn’t the post for that.  This is the post where I talk about how bad New Year’s sucked.

Disclaimer first, though.  I must say, my in-laws are amazing.  Despite everything, they welcomed us to their home and fed and helped and fed and helped (and fed) us all weekend long.  I don’t want my complaining to take away from everything they did and do for us, this weekend and always.

Okay.  With that being said.

Thursday I had a not-so-fuzzy feeling about Dexter having a fever 3 days in a row. 

Friday morning I took him to the doctor, where he was diagnosed with his first ear infection.  I felt super proud of myself for following my hunch and relieved that he would get a few days of medicine in him before returning to the babysitter on Tuesday. 

{a.k.a. “the devil”}

Friday afternoon, maybe 3-4 hours after his first dose of Amoxicillin, I noticed that the back of his head and neck were bright red and felt hot to the touch.  We called the doctor.  They said you don’t have an allergic reaction the first time you take a medication and it was probably related to his fever.  Gave him some Ibuprofen and the fever and redness both went away. 

We gave him his evening dose before bed.  He was up from 12:30am-almost 3am Friday night/Saturday morning.  Gross.

Saturday morning, we gave the Amoxicillin again. Saturday afternoon, his forehead, cheeks, scalp, neck and shoulders/upper back were red and splotchy looking.  A pin prick type of rash popped up all over his chest and back.  We called the doctor again and they said to skip his bedtime dose and see if the reaction was gone by morning.  The splotchiness faded for a few hours, then came back in the evening.

Saturday night, he slept halfway decent.  Halfway.  Sunday morning, he still had splotchy areas on his shoulders and back, and a little bit on his chest. 

Oh, Hello 2012.  Go to hell.

The on call doctor wanted us to take him to Immediate Care because you can’t diagnose an allergic reaction over the phone.  And you can’t change his medicine without a reason.  And the reason would have to read:  ALLERGIC TO PENICILLIN.  Not really what we want this early in the game.  We are extra thrilled about making a dent in our healthcare deductible right out of the 2012 gate, however.  Sad face.

So, Sunday around 11am we took him to Immediate Care, where the doctor said that he didn’t think it was an allergic reaction, but he did think it was a side effect of the Amoxicillin.  And although it didn’t seem to bother him, we may as well switch to a different family of antibiotics that he might tolerate better.  Azithromycin it is. 

We got back from Immediate Care at 1pm, just as Theo was waking up from his nap.  His cheeks were bright red and felt hot.  Yep.  Fever.  Gave him some Ibuprofen and called the doctor AGAIN with some questions I had about this new medicine.  As I was on the phone, I overheard some conversation about Theo throwing up and saw my sister-in-law’s boyfriend cleaning up the aftermath.  Sweet, sweet Bob. 

Theo started a nice little junky cough.  Sunday morning, Dexter had the first of many horrible, terrible, pitiful, scary, awful coughing fits. 

No more splotchies, so I guess he can tolerate the medicine.  Sunday night he was up until 3am. 

Monday morning Dexter had another one of those fits that resulted in both of us being covered in an entire pouch of regurgitated pumpkin banana baby food breakfast.  Sick (literally and figuratively). 

Theo woke up ok on Monday but as the day wore on, he felt worse and his fever came back and his cough is still there.  Dexter’s cough is getting worse.  Monday night he was wheezing, but not having any trouble breathing.  Oh and he was up til 3am again. 

This is not conducive to harmonious family life.  Not at all.  This is stressful.  This just sucks.  I hate having sick kids and I hate having to go to work, leaving my sweet husband home alone to care for them by himself.  It’s not fair to any of us, but I guess life’s not always “fair.” 

I don’t even want to think about how much worse it could be because I’m hoping that things will get better soon.  I am scared that Theo’s symptoms will get worse before they get better.  I hope he doesn’t get an ear infection too. 

Sigh.  Why can’t things just turn out like you envisioned them sometimes?  This was not how I envisioned 2012.  If you’re still reading this long, not-very-exciting post, then you deserve something cute for your dedication.  I can at least deliver that with some pictures of the boys.

Taken with my Droid, on our way to Immediate Care.
Yes, I sat in the back with him.

Having fun playing with his new kitchen.

~C~

the question I get asked the most

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

So, what’s it like having such young kids so close in age?

Honestly, my instinctive, don’t-even-think-about-it answer is usually:  I don’t recommend it.

(With a laugh, of course.) 

I don’t know why I say that, but I hate that I do.  Nope, it’s not always easy.  But guess what?  I wouldn’t know the difference.  If I hadn’t gotten pregnant with Dexter and we still just had Theo, I bet I would say that having a toddler (and just one of them) is challenging, too.

Maybe, just maybe, subconsciously I want everyone to know that I’m workin’ my ass off here, just trying to keep it all together and be the best mom that I can be.  I’m not always proud of my words or actions when I get frustrated, but I doubt that it would be much different if I only had one kid.  Maybe, just maybe, I think if I make everyone realize how exhausting it is, they might not judge me for flipping my lid from time to time.  Or perhaps that makes me feel less guilty for said lid-flipping.

Regardless.

Our plan was to have our kids 2 years apart.  We are overachievers, I guess, because they’re only 14 months apart.  I got pregnant again when Theo was only 5 months old.  So 16 of his 21 months, I have been taking care of him and another baby, too.  I have been exhausted for two and a half years.  I could count the number of times that I have slept through the night on both hands since Theo was born.  Maybe just one hand, if I’m being truthful.  I have been nursing and/or pregnant since June of 2009.  That’s kind of like having a body, but not really having full control and ownership of it for two and a half solid years.    

I don’t recommend it.

Or do I?  Because really, it’s not that bad.  Like I said, it’s the only experience I’ve known as a parent.  There are bad moments, sure.  But doesn’t the job of raising 2 kids that are 2 or 3 years apart have it’s share of bad moments, too?  What about twins?  I’m sure that is just as (if not more) difficult.  I don’t think there’s a perfect solution because parenting is never going to be easy breezy.  If it is, you must not be doing it right. 

I already see the benefits of having babies so close together.  They are starting to play together.  I love the way Dexter’s face lights up when Theo is giving him attention.  Theo is so loving towards Dexter (most of the time) and has adapted just fine to not being the (only) baby.  I am already envisioning my boys playing sports, double dating, and sharing friends in school. 

Having them so close together seemed like a nightmare when I found out I was pregnant.  Now, I feel endlessly lucky.  Who knows what might happen a couple years down the road?  I have heard too many stories recently about young moms with ovarian cancer.  Emergency hysterectomies.  Having just one child was never my plan and I would have been heartbroken if the option of having more had been taken away from me.

We are in the thick of it right now and I am well aware that it might get worse before it gets better.  It’s getting more interesting as Dexter has recently become extremely mobile.  I wonder what Theo will be like a year from now, when Dexter is developmentally where he is now.  The story is always changing, evolving. 

I’m pretty sure this time in our lives is going to be one that we look back on and ask ourselves, “how did we survive?” with smiles on our faces.  Like being in grad school, working full-time at a brand new job career, and driving 700+ miles every other week or so to see my dying father.  It was chaotic and stressful, but so, so worth it and I wouldn’t have done it any other way.  There was no other alternative.  I did what I had to do and that’s what I’m doing now.  It may be a stretch to say I’m loving every second of it, but I bet when I look back, with a smile on my face, that’s how I will remember it.

So you know what?  I guess I do recommend it.  I’d be lying if I said I wish my life had turned out differently.

Hey, guys, I’m working my ass off here to keep it all together and be the best mom I can be. 

There, I said it.  Now you know it and I won’t have to act like I’m miserable, raising these babies who were born 14 months apart. 

not miserable,
~C~

P.S. This post was inspired by Krista at one of my favorite blogs, Not Mommy of the Year.  Read her post here.

P.P.S. I have had a handful of people tell me that they can’t or have had trouble commenting on my blog.  If you are one of those people or if you have ever had trouble commenting on my blog, please try the new format.  If you still have trouble, please email me and let me know.  I’d hate to think people aren’t commenting because they can’t!  Your comments truly make my day.

how i do 2 under 2

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

It’s no secret, we’re nuts.  We had our babies 14 months apart.  Not on purpose, mind you, but that’s what happened.  My greatest fear upon learning that I was pregnant again was not being able to physically manage babies so close in age. 

Some days, managing is all I can do.  Other days, I laugh at how scared I was. 

There are logistics involved, ya know?  Like how do you get the toddler and the infant out of the car at the babysitter?  Do you sit the baby on the ground while you get the toddler out?  Or do you get the toddler out first and hope he doesn’t run away while you’re getting the baby out?  What if it’s snowing?  Then what?  You can’t sit the baby seat in the snow.

What do you do with the danger-seeking toddler while you’re nursing the baby?  Especially if he’s in that it’s-fun-to-run-on-the-couch stage. 

Well, you manage. 

You tell your car-loving toddler to admire the tires on your vehicle while you get the baby out. Or put him in.  Or you sit him in the yard and ask him to tell you about sticks and leaves.  I’m not sure about the snow thing, we haven’t gotten there yet.  But I can, if necessary, carry them both and all their bags.  It ain’t easy. 

If you’re smart, you buy a baby jail.  I think I already alluded to us not being that smart (this post, second sentence).  We didn’t buy a baby jail.  When Dexter was first born, I would put Theo in Dexter’s crib and sit in the rocker in Dexter’s room while I nursed.  Theo would play with toys.  It was about 1 minute before Theo showed me how easily he could throw his leg over the side of Dexter’s crib.  So I sit on the floor of Theo’s room and talk to him while he plays.  With the door shut.  If we don’t do that, he will flee the room I’m in as fast as he can and climb a cabinet or two.

It’s all about restraint.  When I was on maternity leave, I thought I would go crazy every day I was stuck inside the house by myself with them all day long.  So I strapped ’em in.  Carseats, shopping carts, the stroller.  Anywhere I could put them where they couldn’t get away from me.  Bonus, they were stimulated by the new environments around them.  I was shocked that it was usually easier to manage them out of the house than when we stayed home. 

Then there’s restraining them at home.  The swing.  The high chair.  The baby carrier (can’t find a link to this).  The bouncy seat.  The bumbo.  The jumperoo.  Lots of places to sit these kids where they can’t get away from me.  Hey Theo, sit in your booster seat at the kitchen table and read a book or two while mom attempts to throw something together for lunch.  Hey Dexter, sit in the Bumbo and grasp for Puffs while I update my blog do something really important.  Yep, restraint.  And yep, those are the actual products that saved my life  we use/used.  The swing in the link is a newer version.  I recommend all of these!

I do have some concerns about what I will do when Dexter outgrows his baby carseat.  Because once Dexter can sit in the shopping cart child seat, where does Theo go?  Not in the big part of the cart.  Oh, no.  I can see right where that’s headed.  Maybe I’ll just have to take my double stroller everywhere and pull a cart behind me?  Still haven’t figured that one out. 

What I have figured out though, is that it’s one day at a time.  Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out when we get there.  It’s not so bad.  I kinda wouldn’t have it any other way.

xo,
~C~