photoblog

their first week

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

I’ve been surprised so far at how the boys have done with the transition from our previous sitter to the new one. I thought Theo would be the one throwing fits, resisting, and expressing himself through negative behaviors.  Instead, it’s Dexter who seems to be struggling most with the change.

I thought Dexter would be fine because he’s so easy. He’s so happy, easy to please, and easy-going.  He has a smile plastered on his face 90% of the time and rarely throws fits or tantrums.

Monday.

Dropoff:  We went together to support each other, the kids, and because we both wanted to see their reactions firsthand.  The room we take them to in the morning has a baby gate and Dexter kept trying to escape and run towards us but he wasn’t crying. We hugged and kissed both boys and told them goodbye.  As we left, Dexter was trying to get out of the baby gate and Theo was standing in the middle of the room crying and calling out to us.

So, that felt like crap.

I remembered 10 minutes later that I’d forgotten to leave the diapers and wipes so I texted and asked if I should come back or if that would make it worse. She said within five minutes they were both playing and happy and that it could wait until afternoon.  Ryan wanted to join me again for pick-up so we went together and as we opened the door, I heard Dexter’s cry.  She said that he saw us out the window and burst into tears.  I can only assume that he was feeling stressed and the relief of seeing us out the window triggered that emotional release.  He latched onto Ryan and continued to cry.  She said they had a great day and that they seemed to be transitioning well considering their ages.

That night, the boys played and were active at home.  When bedtime rolled around, their behaviors escalated and they both became very whiny and emotional.  This isn’t totally out of the ordinary for them, especially Theo, when he is very tired.  The odd thing was how Dexter screamed bloody murder like he had a broken leg when he was put in his bed.  Pretty sad situation.  He stopped after a few minutes and there was nothing but dead silence coming from the monitor.

Tuesday.

I dropped them off and Theo ran over to the toy box immediately and started digging for something.  When I said “bye, Theo!” he yelled “bye, Mom!” without ever looking up.  Dexter, on the other hand, hugged me and did not want me to put him down. The sitter was able to engage and distract him and he went right to her to go look for cars to play with.  Better.

At pick-up, she said that Dexter had a few crying spells in the morning and was looking for me.  I picked him up and hugged him and said “were you crying?”  He answered, “yes, I was crying for youuuuuu!”  Oh, no.  Sad, sad, sad.  She said again that she thought they were doing very well adjusting and complimented us on how clearly the boys speak and how smart they are! Nice to hear.

Bedtime was better for Theo but about the same for Dexter. Lots of crying and screaming and begging to be held.  Ugh.

Wednesday.

Ryan volunteered to drop them off.  It was Red, White, and Blue day in celebration of the 4th tomorrow, so we dressed them to the nines!

Getting a decent picture of these two is quite the task these days.  Not that it’s ever been easy…maybe when they’re 8&9??  

We had a little extra time this morning so why not spend it tackling some yardwork?

Ryan called after drop off and said that it did not go so swell.  He said that Dexter cried when they went inside and started calling “Mama! Mama!”  He voluntarily went from Ryan to the new sitter, but then switched to crying for daddy.  Double UGH.  As he left, Dexter was still crying.  Again, Theo was fine.

I know they are safe and I know they will be okay.  I don’t know exactly how Theo is processing this because he seems … FINE.  And maybe he really is fine.  I just did not expect Dexter to be so emotional or have such a hard time.  I hope that it gets a whole lot easier before Theo starts going to school three days a week in August. A month is a long time in the life of a 2 year old so I’m hopeful that by then, Dexter will be well-adjusted and we won’t be having these meltdowns every day.  Poor guy. I wish I could make it easier on him (and us!).  I sure am glad that their first week was only 3 days.

Have you ever dealt with a transition like this?  What helped?

xo,
~C~

their last day

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

Well, this has been kinda tough so far.  By kinda, I mean I’ve cried over this dumb mess more than I ever imagined possible or reasonable.  It’s odd and interesting, the things that become important and stressful once you become a parent that you never DREAMED would be such a big deal. It’s been heart-wrenching at times and I have to admit that I’ve probably shed more tears over this than anything since my dad died.  Well, I’m skipping over the hormonal crying related to newborn baby sleep deprivation and/or pregnancy.  While it doesn’t exactly feel like someone died, the finality has hit me hard that this desirable situation has come to an end and an uncertain future is upon us.

Last Friday was the boys’ last day with their first and beloved lady.  They have always spoken so highly of her and have looked forward to going to her home.  The Saturday before last, I took them to JoAnn Fabrics and told them they could pick out any gift to make for her.  Theo was drawn towards the birdhouses so they both spent some time picking their houses, changing their minds, and changing their minds again until they both picked the perfect gifts.  Picking out their paint colors was much easier.  Green and red.

They really were not interested in putting clothes back on after painting in the (almost) nude.  So they played while their projects dried.  I worked on them a little bit each night leading up to their last day.  Thursday night we put the boys’ handprints on the bottoms of their birdhouses and I sealed them with clearcoat.  

As I was painting them and realizing that this was it, this was really the last night before the last morning that they’d wake up and go to her house, I lost it.  There were lots of tears.  It’s just hard as a mom, going from something that you take comfort in to something that feels so completely uncomfortable.  I’ve grieved for my relationship with this woman, who has become a friend. I’ve grieved for the kids’ relationship with her. For the kids’ relationship with her son. Her husband.  They have been so much a part of our family for the last 3 years.  The boys have spent so many hours in her arms, home, and in her care.  It’s hard to let go. And while I realize that we can and will remain in contact, it will never be the same.

The last pick-up.
There were lots of hugs during that hard good-bye but somehow I kept it together until we closed the door for the last time.  I looked behind me as we crossed the yard to the car and Theo had stopped about 20 feet back.  He was standing still with his bottom lip sticking out.  I said “Theo, come on honey.  Let’s go.”  He remained still and I asked him what was wrong.  He suddenly ran to me and I swooped him up and held him tight.  He said “I’m sad” and started to cry.  That’s when my tears began to flow as well.  We just stood there, hugging and crying in the yard for a couple of minutes.  I was crying because he was crying. Because he was smart enough to know that something had changed but I was also crying because I knew he didn’t fully understand. He sucked his thumb and stared out the window on the way home.
Friday night we distracted ourselves with a fun baseball game.  The boys were tired by the 5th inning and some nasty looking clouds were heading our way so we left. 

Coming up next — the first day(s) at the new sitter.
xo,
~C~

father’s day weekend 2013

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest
Saturday we traveled to Richmond to visit some of my relatives and celebrate my grandmother’s 79th birthday at a surprise party.  My uncle Joe & aunt Sandy have an alpaca farm so we went there first to meet their newest baby, Annapolis aka “Annie.” 
The boys love feeding the alpacas.

Annie!

All I could think was that poor mama! Can you imagine giving birth to this large of a baby?  Two weeks old! That’s the mother, standing right beside me.  I could only hold this strong girl for about 60 seconds.

No worries, these animals would scatter every time the boys took a step in their direction. They’re very docile animals.

Dexter loved this barn cat, Louie.

We hung out at the farm until we received word that the party planners were ready for their special guest of honor.

Time to go, boys!

Yes, Grandma had her hair up in bobby pin curls like she does every Saturday.  Gotta look pretty for church on Sunday.  Grandma has looked like this for as many Saturdays as I’ve known her, unless she was aware of a special occasion.  I don’t think she cared at all that she came to her party with a kerchief on her head!  I think she looks beautiful! 

It’s funny…the grandkids my age call her Grandma and the little grandkids and great grandkids call her Mamaw.  Not sure when the switch happened… Some people call her Barsie – no clue where that came from.  (She had a sister named Elizabeth who was only known as Tootie, so who knows?)  Hardly anyone calls her by her lovely given name, Arizona.  I always told Ryan if we’d had a girl, I wanted to name her Arizona and call her Zoey.

Lots of fun things for the boys to do at my uncle Kerry’s gorgeous, huge property.  They enjoyed a nice, sloooow go-kart ride (at least while mom was watching).

The birthday cutie opening cards and gifts.  She was so surprised, she just kept saying “I’ve never been surprised in my life!”  Can you believe this was her first ever birthday party?  I guess when you have 7 kids, 14 grandkids, and 7 great grandkids, the attention is always focused somewhere else.  

It was a little too breezy and cloudy for me to get in the pool, but the boys did not hesitate!

Happy Birthday Grandma!

On Father’s Day morning, I surprised Ryan by taking him to First Watch downtown for breakfast.  Oh. So. Yummy.  Afterwards, we went over to the Indiana State Museum for a short IMAX film about butterflies.  We were a few minutes early so we walked around outside for a bit.

Waiting for the show to start. 
Somehow, I abandoned my camera after the movie, but Sunday afternoon, Ryan’s parents came up and I fixed dinner for Ryan, the boys, and Nana and Pop-Pop.  It was a wonderful weekend.  Father’s Day is always bittersweet as I’m missing my own dad, but this weekend was full of family and gentle reminders that I am so very lucky to have all these special people in my life.  
xo,
~C~