Theo

because that means.

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

I feel like I spend too much time on this blog expressing negativity about how hard it is, being a parent.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m a negative person (I hope not) or because this is my place to vent.  There are blogs out there, like Dear Baby and Enjoying the Small Things, which I love, that are so beautifully and positively written – they inspire me daily to embrace the beauty in the ordinary.  They also portray parenting as something far more glamorous than what it really is.  To me.  To me. 

That being said, it’s no secret that I love my babies and my husband more than life.  The three of them are the only blip on my radar (too?) much of the time.  But you want truth:  Here it is.  Parenting ain’t no joke, people.  It takes a lot of energy.  It takes it’s toll.  I have a toddler, fast approaching 21 months, and an infant who is almost 7 months.  It’s not easy, but it was never meant to be.  Being a damn good parent, or trying to be, is tough.  There are things that drive me nuts every.single.day. BUT.  These days are so precious and that’s not lost on me.  I know these ordinary days, these crazy-making moments, are what I’m going to miss one day… like…

Theo running up to me and pushing and pulling on my legs while I’m fixing dinner, begging me to pick him up.
Because that mean he wants to be close to me.

The ache in my back from rocking Dexter to sleep at night before he settles into a deep slumber in his crib.
Because that means he still needs me to do that, just as much as I need him to let me.

The sound of Theo running/stomping down the hall while dragging his very loudest pull-toy past Dexter’s room while he is was napping.
Because that means he’s happy, full of energy, enjoying and entertaining himself.

Spending more time cleaning up the mess under the table after dinner than the time it took to eat. 
Because that means I got to sit at the table with my boys, all three of them, and share a meal together.

Wiping runny noses and making last minute doctor’s appointments.
Because when they’re sick, that’s when they need their mommy the most.

Spending countless hours pumping milk, scrubbing bottles, freezing milk, thawing milk, and packing it all up for the babysitter.
Because that means I’m giving my baby the best start possible. 

I could go on, you know?  But the point is this.  I (think I sort of) know how lucky I am.  With that being said, we’ve never had to deal with anything terrible, like life-threatening illness or injury.  Like losing our house in a fire or flood.  Things could be so much worse, no matter what, and I try to keep it in perspective.  I know these challenging, exhausting days won’t last forever.  I know one day my boys will be grown and out of the house.  I’ll think about how it all went by in a blink.  And I hope they’ll come back for lots of visits.  I hope they don’t move too far away from home.  I hope they’ll remember their childhood fondly and not have a clue how hard we worked to make it just exactly what it was.

Because that will mean we have succeeded. 

~C~ 

dog bite to the head

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

Last Wednesday I woke up early and was lying in bed with my eyes closed, willing myself to go back to sleep.  For ages.  So I finally looked at my phone and it was only 3pm (I usually get up at 4).  I also had a text from my husband saying “Theo was bit by [the babysitter’s dog] today just above the ear.  Broke the skin.  She washed it out with warm water and peroxide.  I called the nurse and the doctor wants to see him at 425.  Said they usually treat it with an antibiotic.  Theo is doing fine.” 

Exsqueeze me?

Good thing I woke up early.  After I managed to get my heart out of my throat, I jumped out of bed and got ready in time to meet them at the doctor’s office (with a few wtf-themed texts in between).  I don’t really know how to describe how I was feeling.  So many thoughts were racing through my mind.  How much did he cry?  How did this happen?  Was he scared?  Will he hate dogs forever?  Where was the babysitter?  Will he have a scar?  More than anything, I was sad.  Sad that he had to experience that.  Sad that I wasn’t there to comfort him.  Sad that the whole dumb thing happened. 

We got to the doctor and of course I scooped him up and hugged him – it was like any other day for my brave boy, he just smiled and acted like nothing was wrong.  Little ones are so resilient.  I had to search through his long hair above his right ear to find the marks, but there they were.  Three puncture wounds.  Really, really, really sad.  Later I found 2 more, so that made me wonder if the dog bit him more than once.  Anyway, the doctor actually came out to the waiting room and wanted to see us before he officially “saw” us.  He looked at the wounds and said that due to the nature of the wound, infection was very unlikely and rabies was virtually impossible.  He didn’t even prescribe an antibiotic.  He said that because the wounds were flat and open, they would heal nicely on their own and we didn’t need to be concerned with scarring due to the location.

The babysitter assured us that the dog couldn’t possibly have rabies.  She apologized over and over and cried into the phone about the whole incident.  I felt bad for her, because I know if I had been in her shoes I would be devastated that this happened while someone else’s kid was in my care.  She said that they had been outside playing and had just come in.  The dog was relaxing on the couch before going back in the crate or garage or bedroom or wherever he usually stays and the babysitter was changing diapers.  Theo went to give him a kiss (as he calls it – he lays his head down on the dog’s side) and the dog snapped.  I don’t know why.  It certainly doesn’t sound like Theo did anything aggressive, but for whatever reason, he snapped.  I hate don’t care for that dog, y’all.

And as much as I hope Theo isn’t afraid of dogs because of this, I am kind of afraid of dogs for him.  If that dog snapped for no reason, why wouldn’t any other dog?   Am I supposed to tell him not to love on my mom’s dog or my friend’s dog because of the possibility of them snapping?  What didn’t sink in until after we left the doctor’s office was how unbelievable lucky we were.  Centimeters and the dog would have taken a chunk of his ear.  An inch and he would have bitten his cheek.  It could have ended so, so much worse. 

So the big question is, what happened to the dog?  They still have it, I would never ask them to get rid of him on account of this.  He has been their family dog for 6 years.  But I did ask that he is not around my kids. At all.  Ever.  And of course the babysitter had already planned on that before I mentioned it.  She even said they are thinking about giving it to her mother.  So for now, the dog stays in the garage while the kiddos are up and running around.  I’m sad for the babysitter.  I’m kind of sad for the dog.  I’m most sad for my kid, that he had to experience such an awful thing.

I’m incredibly relieved that the whole thing ended as well as it did. 

P.S. Dexter’s surgery consultation is next Thursday!

~C~

hopes. dreams.

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

 When I saw that the topic for Toddle Along Tuesday was “hopes and dreams for your children” this week, I took a deep breath.  Seems like such a loaded question.  Where do you begin?  Where do you stop?  I had to think about it.  I wanted to keep it simple.

~~~~~~

I hope they know they are loved.  Not just “hey, love ya man” loved, but that there is a deep love emblazoned on my heart that will never fade.  I hope they know that they were created and born out of love.  I hope they feel that they were raised in a loving home and I dream of them recreating that same thing with families of their own.  Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from being a mama, it’s this:  Family matters more than anything.  Family is everything.

I hope they have true friends.  Because I do believe that friends are the family we choose.  I can’t imagine my life without the exact people that have been placed in it.  I hope they know that they can always come to me for love and support.  But if they can’t because I’m not around, I hope they have a wonderful circle of friends that they love like family.

I dream of them being the very best of friends to each other.  To think of them not speaking breaks my heart.  To think of them not delighting in one another’s children someday makes my stomach hurt.  I hope that their closeness in age translates into closeness throughout their lives.  I hope that one another’s families are as important to them as their own.

I sometimes catch myself dreaming of them being this or doing that, but none of that matters.  I will love them to the bottom of my heart, regardless of what they do.  I hope they are kind and compassionate and considerate.  I hope they are responsible.  Throughout their lives, I hope people say “he’s a great kid,” “he’s a nice guy,” “he’s a wonderful man,” “he’s a devoted husband,” “he’s a loving father,” and most of all, “he’s just like his dad.”  That will make me as proud as anything they could ever achieve. 

I just hope they’re happy and fulfilled at the end of the day.  Satisfied with where their path has led them in life.  I hope that’s not too much to ask.

~C~