paranoid party planning committee

Posted on February 17, 2011 by mommyinthemidwest

I have to admit, I’m experiencing some anxiety over Theo’s first birthday party. It’s coming up in 2 short weeks (and 2 days) and I’m getting nervous. Feeling a little pressure. There will be a lot of people and a short amount of time. There will be babies his age and kids that are older. Am I supposed to have activities to keep everyone entertained? Because I’m thinking we’ll be lucky to make it through pizza, presents, and cake in 2 hours.

Not to mention I am paranoid that Theo is going to have a crazy morning that day, thereby ruining all my visions of his perfect little celebration. We picked the 12-2 time frame because that’s generally between his naps, but what if he’s off that day? What if he refuses to nap and is ready to crash just in time for the party? It could be disasterous. What am I supposed to do with him while we are decorating for the party, which is not going to be at our house? How am I going to manage to get the balloons, cake, and decorations in place while he is supposed to be napping? How am I going to manage taking a million adorable pictures amidst all the chaos while still being present enough in the moment to enjoy it through him? And what about the cake mess? Since we’re not having the party at home, how am I going to get cake out of his hair before we put him back in his carseat?

And the best (ha) part of all is that he won’t even know what hit him. Of course, he is the one I’m most worried about pleasing and, party or no party, it’s just another day to him.

I wanted it to be small but just with our immediate families, there are 15 people. And then there are his little baby best friends that I wouldn’t dream of not inviting. Parents included, that gets us up to about 30. Then there are our friends who have the older-ish kids, the babysitter, and my grandparents and we’re at 40. Egads. I didn’t even invite our friends who don’t have kids and I’m feeling guilty about that but you have to draw the line somewhere, right? With all that being said, I really want all those people there because they have been such a big part of Theo’s first year.

Maybe in the future we will do a family birthday dinner with cake and ice cream and then a baby friend birthday playdate. That way everyone gets to enjoy Theo and vice versa. And I get to enjoy everyone and …well I guess the vice versa part is subjective. So that new idea I just came up with here and now has me feeling better about his birthday next year, but back to the panic attack…

Eeeeeeeeeeek!

Did I mention I’m somewhat stressed and depressed about the fact that my eensy weensy baby is almost ONE? (Yes, yes I did.)

Any suggestions?

freakin’ out,
~C~

in a month

Posted on February 8, 2011 by mommyinthemidwest

In a month, my little bitty newborn baby will be a year old. I feel like he’s still just brand new. Of course we have learned a lot, thanks to the advice and help of friends and family along with trial and error. I marvel every day at how much he has changed from that little lump of sweetness we brought home from the hospital into this smart, brave, inquisitive little boy. He has so much personality already, and he hasn’t even started talking yet. Well, he thinks he’s talking but we haven’t figured out what he’s saying.

I’ve gotten him to mimic me a few times, saying “mom,” only he shapes his little mouth in an “o” and it comes out more like “mohm.” He’s also saying “moo” when we show him a little cow that makes the same sound. I love every second of it.

But at the same time, I hate it. It’s bittersweet. I miss him being that tiny little lump that I could hold in my arms for hours and hours. Now I know that you can’t spoil a baby. I’m glad I didn’t listen to people that said you can hold a baby too much. I held him as much as I could and I have no regrets. He’s confident and secure (so far) and has never demonstrated separation anxiety. He can put himself to sleep and play happily in his bed when he wakes up.

I can’t believe how lucky we’ve been over the past year. He’s been such a good, easy baby. I remember taking him to the mall when he was about 6 or 7 weeks old and I was in the elevator with him and an elderly man who asked how old he was. When I told him, he grimaced and said that he had 6 children and would never go back to that age. He must have had a bunch of lemons, because I think I’ve had more fun during the past 11 months than I have at any other time in my life. Every day with Theo is something new.

In (less than) a month, we will have a little party. He won’t have a clue why everyone is gathering around to stare at him (okay, that’s actually pretty typical with our families) or cheering when he digs into his cake (hopefully). It’s a celebration for all of us. We’ve nearly made it through the first year of milestones. We’ve gone from rookies to parents with a little bit of experience. We’ve gone from two to three…from a couple to a family.

I can’t wait to see what all the next year has in store for us.

~C~

on leaving him behind

Posted on February 1, 2011 by mommyinthemidwest

Last weekend was a first. Not the first time I ever spent the night away from Theo but the longest I’ve ever spent away from him by double and then some. I swung by the babysitter’s Wednesday morning to see him to at least subtract one day off of the length. Then, Wednesday afternoon I flew to Colorado and spent 4 nights with my best friend, who I hadn’t seen in 3+ months. It was fun, great fun. Make no mistake about that. We laughed and explored and reminisced and teased and ate and on and on and on…

But Friday morning the hole in my heart was getting a little too big so I tried to superficially stuff it back up by looking through every last digital image on my camera. I wanted to study his face and all of his cute expressions, as if that would make me feel him in my arms. So, I made it a whole 48 hours without crying. My heart ached with so many miles between us, not being able to kiss his chubby cheeks, and knowing it would be another 2 days before I watched him break into one of those sneaky smiles. But what could I do? This was a rare chance to spend time with my bff, and I had to make the most of it. Luckily, there were some pretty captivating distractions, like the Great Sand Dunes National Park

GSDNP

and Garden of the Gods.

Wildfire Productions

Forgive me for not using my own pictures, which I have a bazillion of, but I haven’t had time to retrieve them from my camera yet. I will try to do that soon. Needless to say, when I saw my sweet one’s little face, all was right with the world. I was exhausted and exhilirated at the same time and so thankful for my wonderful husband and his parents, who took care of my munchkin while I was away. I have no doubt that it was harder for me than it was for him.

And that it will be a long, long while before I am away from him for so long again.

~C~