Theo

pregnancy recap

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

*after reading this post, I realize it would be much more exciting if I’d uploaded some pics to help tell the story.  Well….that would take time.  And time is something I don’t have much of.  If I get around to uploading them, I’ll post a link in a newer blog. Deal?*

Like I mentioned before, I found out I was pregnant with Theo super early…4 weeks and 1 day.  So the first trimester that I couldn’t tell anyone dragged on and on.  I remember early signs or symptoms such as suddenly having to pee all the time, my boobs got big and sore, and there were a few days of crampiness and spotting right after I found out and that scared the crap out of me.  It turned out okay, as I ended up getting a couple extra ultrasounds out of it and heard his heart beat for the first time at 6 weeks. 

The 12 week appointment was kind of fun because we got to see his little arms and legs on the ultrasound and afterwards, I paraded around my office with the printouts.  There was one perfect picture of his tiny hand where his thumb was 90 degrees from his pointer finger like an “L.” Right then was when I knew he was gonna be super cute.

At 14+ weeks we had a bunch of stupid genetic testing done, because I thought if something was wrong with my baby, I wanted time to plan and prepare for it.  Reasons that was a dumb idea: 1) It’s not like I would have aborted it regardless  2) It was too late and the results weren’t even reliable 3) It ended up costing us $600+ out of pocket because it wasn’t medically necessary. 

At 18 weeks, we found out our little munchkin was a boy.  The ultrasound tech said at 14 weeks that she thought she saw a penis but it could have just been the cord in the way so she wouldn’t commit to her hunch with any certainty.  I figured it was a boy, but I don’t know if it was becuase of some motherly instinct or if it was because I secretly hoped to have a girl first.  Okay, not so secretly.  When we found out it was a boy, I don’t think either of us were surprised.  Happy either way, but not surprised.  I was just glad to finally know SOMETHING about the baby so I could start planning and buying stuff.

I started showing aroung 16 or 17 weeks.  Man, was I impatient.  I wanted that cute belly like crazy.  Too bad there’s a period of about 2 months where you just look fat, not pregnant.  I don’t know how cute it was when it showed up, but it did.  I think I was 18 weeks and 5 days when I felt what I knew for sure were kicks.  It was so cute – I was sitting on the couch, using the laptop and I felt some flutters.  I yelled at Theo’s daddy and he came running in and put his hand on my belly, thinking he would be able to feel him too.  I was closer to 22 weeks when he was able to, but that was kind of a fluke.  He wasn’t able to feel much again until 24 – 26 weeks.

Heartburn developed around 24 weeks and lingered with me throughout the pregnancy.  The first time I had it, I thought I must be dying.  For people who get heartburn all the time, pregnant or not…oh man.  Your life sucks.  I’d never had heartburn before and it felt like my throat was closing up to where I couldn’t breathe.  It was hot and painful and made my eyes water.  It subsided after 10-15 seconds, but often came back multiple times.  Sometimes what I ate seemed to make a difference, but towards the end, it didn’t matter much at all.  Tums and Zantac were my BFFs for awhile.

The belly was definitely getting big by 28 weeks, which was the week of Christmas.  I had my 2 hour glucose tolerance test that week and the 3 hour test at 30 weeks, then my result…BIG FAT FAIL.  I will write another blog on Gestational Diabetes, but from there on out, I was on a strict diet and was checking my blood sugar 4x a day.  Ick.

Also around 30 weeks, I went into major freakout mode because all we had in the baby’s room was furniture and a few clothes.  No carseat, no stroller, no mattress, no changing pad, diapers, etc.  Nothing!  And no baby showers were scheduled yet so I was nervous about lots of things.  Then, everything magically fell into place.

I had a baby shower at 34 weeks and another one at 35 weeks. I am still astounded by everyone’s generosity.  We barely bought anything in Theo’s room.  In fact, I can look around his room today and identify pretty much every item in there and who it was a gift from.  The only big purchases we made were his furniture and bouncy seat. 

After Theo was born, we traveled 7+ hours (it’s supposed to take 5) to my mom’s, where she threw Theo a book party.  Since we already had everything we needed, mom asked everyone to bring a favorite children’s book with an inscription.

My husband’s work threw him a “diaper shower” so everyone brought a pack or a box of diapers.  My sweet cousin, who works at a hospital, can get diapers at a discount so she has given us TONS of them.  I’m happy to say that we have only bought diapers at the store ONE time in over 6 months…in case you didn’t know, that’s pretty awesome!

To date, I have sent out over 80 thank you cards (and I still have a short list of names on the dry erase board of people I still need to send them to).  So overwhelmed by the love!

I remember around 34 or 35 weeks thinking “what’s wrong with people? Being pregnant’s not so bad!”  I had heard so many people talking about being DONE with pregnancy and taking all sorts of measures to try to coax their bodies into labor.  I was in no hurry.  I figured that I was a lot less busy than I would be after the baby was born, not to mention the physical discomfort I would be experiencing after giving birth!

That mindset changed pretty rapidly once I hit 36 or 37 weeks.  Everything was uncomfortable.  Sitting. Standing. Lying down.  Showering. Eating. Using the bathroom. Tying my shoes.  Everything.  Every day was a day when I couldn’t imagine being pregnant for another 24 hours.  Each week felt like a lifetime.  Ooof, that was rough. 

At my 38 week appointment, the doctor suggested an induction the following Monday, which was the day I would reach 39 weeks.  After asking a million questions, we agreed and started reciting Theo’s birthday in our heads.  March 8th … it has a nice ring to it.  🙂

One thing I liked about the timing of my pregnancy was the weather.  It gets damn cooooold in the midwest for several months at a time.  While the winter wasn’t too extreme last year, the coldest parts of the winter were towards the very end of my pregnancy…January and February.  I became so hot-natured that I would have to go stand outside in 10 degree weather after blow drying my hair.  Everyone else would be freezing and I was comfortable for a change.  I can’t imagine being hugely pregnant through the summer.  For anyone who has endured it…props to you. 

Soooo, anyway…I went to the hospital on Sunday, March 7th to start the induction process, but that’s a story for another day!

Have a great weekend, ya’ll!

~C~

beginning of the end

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

I’ve been dealing with an internal struggle about breastfeeding for several weeks now, as I have witnessed a decrease in the amount of milk output during pumping sessions.  I thought maybe the pump was defective, or maybe my breasts have gotten smaller since I’ve lost a little weight so the flanges were too large and therefore not working most efficiently.  I’ve thought maybe I’m drinking too much caffeine, or not enough water.  I’ve thought maybe I’m not getting enough rest or eating right.  I’ve tried altering everything and the milk supply continues to decrease.

Coinciding in a parallel fashion with the fall in production has been a rise in Theo’s episodes of waking in the night.  More and more over the last two weeks, he has been increasingly difficult to calm when he wakes.  We thought his stomach hurt or he was getting more teeth.  Maybe we were spoiling him and providing too much “help” in getting him to sleep…rocking, singing, swaying, shushing (all of the above at the same time).  It’s not the end of the world to have to do that for 20 minutes at 8:30pm, but it’s a big deal at 1am, then again at 1:45am, and 3 or 4 more times between then and 7am, when we finally just give up and get up for the day.

So we decided to try a few nights of letting him cry to see if he could figure out how to get himself to sleep without so much parental intervention.  It’s awful.  We’ve seen a decrease in the amount of time it takes him to get to sleep, but the 1am waking is a given.  And letting him cry is no longer an option at that point, because it’s brutal.  He’s seriously pissed.  I broke the rules and ended up picking him up, nursing him back to sleep, etc. several nights.  He was not going back to sleep otherwise.

Well, we took him to the doctor for his 6 month checkup last Thursday and I was shocked to find out that he had gone from the 50th percentile to the 72nd percentile for height and from the 25th percentile to the 13th percentile for weight.  My jaw dropped.  The doctor could see that I was distressed by this and I commented that he had dropped by half.  The doctor explained that you have to look at the numbers out of 100% and that he had actually only dropped by about 10%.  He also mentioned that he was not concerned as he would rather see long, lean babies than fat babies, and it wasn’t as if he had quit gaining…he just wasn’t gaining at the same pace he had been the first 4 months of life.  We began talking about his night waking and what it could be related to.  At that moment, it clicked.  I realized that he’s not getting enough to eat during the day because my milk supply has dropped.  I suggested this to the doctor and he agreed that I was probably right if I had noticed a substantial dip in my pumped supply.  It’s a bit perplexing, because he is always satisfied when he finishes eating.  I assumed he was getting plenty to eat as he never complained and always chose when to un-latch on his own.

He suggested feeding him a bottle from our frozen reserves before bed, or to begin supplementing with formula.  Yep, he dropped the F-bomb.  Up until now, I have been hell bent against using formula.  When all of this came together for me at the doctor’s office, I finally felt at peace with it.  I feel confident that if I was a stay-at-home-mom, I could have made it to a year.  But there’s something about pumping and being away from your baby for 20 hours a day through the week that confuses the body.  I feel proud of what I have been able to accomplish up to this point.  We have a month’s worth of frozen breastmilk that he will be able to drink at the babysitter’s house and I will continue pumping and nursing until nothing is coming out (or until he turns 1, whichever comes first). Otherwise, he will be eating more solids and having some formula.

I’m okay with it.  Or at least as okay as I’m going to be.  I’m not going to let my stubbornness and determination about breastfeeding until he turns 1 get in the way of my baby’s growth.  Last night he slept through the night for the first time in over a month.  He also had two 4 ounce bottles of formula during the day yesterday.

I’ll just be glad to start getting some sleep again…until the next phase.

~C~

6 month letter

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

Dear Theo,

I can’t believe you’ve been here for half of a year already.  It’s so strange how much faster time seems to move now that you’re a part of my life.  Before you, not much changed in the span of six months.  But now?  Now you have evolved into a completely different person than the one you were just 26 weeks ago. 

Six months ago you couldn’t smile your sweet baby smile.  Or laugh.  Or sit up.  Or bite.  Or eat food (pureed, albeit).  Or sit in your carseat for 5 seconds without wailing.  Or entertain yourself for 5 seconds.  You couldn’t sit in the big boy stroller.  Or stay awake for more than an hour (unless it was the middle of the night…then, my boy…then, you had stamina).  You wore the teensiest clothes and they were loose.  You have doubled your birth weight and then some.  You’re more than half a foot taller than you were back then.  What if I did that every six months?  See what I mean!?

Your first spring and summer have zoomed past us.  You have no clue that it’s about to get bitter cold here in the midwest.  The second six months of your life will be spent in sweaters and mittens and you’ll be wrapped up in blankets.  The walks through our neighborhood will become more sparse as the temperature drops.  The sun will sink down behind the bare trees early in the evening.  You will smell new smells, like leaves burning and hot apple cider. 

Your first Halloween, Thanksgiving, steps, words, Christmas, solid foods, and birthday are all still ahead of us!  I know you are going to bring us more and more joy as time continues to fly. 

It’s a funny thing, “knowing” you.  When I was pregnant, I could predict your waking and sleeping cycles.  I jokingly reprimanded you for shoving your entire leg between my ribs.  Moments after you were born, I remember thinking that I had known you my whole life and what a relief it was to finally see you, hear you, kiss you, and hold you in my arms.  Two weeks later, I thought I was really getting to know you well as we were figuring out this whole how-to-be-a-mommy/how-to-live-on-the-outside-of-mommy thing.  Now I look back and realize how much your personality has grown.  And guess what?  You can’t even talk yet.  Aside from the joyous squeals and your backseat babblings of “ay-ay-ay-ay-ay,” you haven’t told me much at all.  Not one story, not one joke, not one synopsis of how your day was, or what food you like best.  I can’t wait for you to run up to me and give me a hug by wrapping your little arms around my legs.  15 years from now, you might not think I know you at all, but I will always try.  And I will always like you, no matter what you think or how you feel. 

This 6 month birthday of yours coincides with mommy deciding to finally clean out your closet.  I had no idea it would be so emotional for me!  I don’t typically save things that I don’t need, but it was hard parting with ANYTHING of yours.  You are precious, so all the things that represent you are too.  I will have to work on that, as we are already running out of room.  Now your closet is free from newborn layettes and 0-3 month onesies.  I found myself hugging your tiny outfits to my chest, then running to the next room to show your daddy with a half-smile/half-frown on my face, saying “remember when he wore this!?”  “Remember when he was this tiny!?” Or more accurately, “I can’t believe he was ever this tiny!”

The truth is, Sweet Pea, you are still tiny.  I can hold you close and smother you with kisses and you don’t try to get away (well, sometimes you’re squirmy but usually, you think it’s hilarious).  I can carry you on my hip as we stroll down the driveway to check the mail.  You fit on my lap and in my arms.  One day, probably not so far away, I will look back at pictures from this time in our lives and swoon over how small and sweet you were. 

Because I am so painfully aware of that, there’s a cloud of sadness that hangs out right next the the rays of happiness and joy that you bring to my life.  Sharing this life with you is a gift and I feel like the luckiest mommy ever, just being able to do so.  But I know, before too long, you will grow up and not need me like you do now.  I hope you will always need your mommy in some way. 

I love you, Sugar.  Happy Six Month Birthday.

xo,
Mommy