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that’s reality, sweetheart.

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

I used to haaaaaaate the Duggars.  You know who I’m talking about, right?  The good old fashioned, wholesome family featured on the reality show, 19 Kids and Counting on TLC?  The sight of them used to make my skin crawl and my mood fowl.  I thought it was sick, twisted, and disgusting that they breed the way they do.  At first it was like the perpetual trainwreck that I could not turn away from, but I have to admit…I enjoy watching the show.  It’s the family I love to hate…and love.  Many of the things they do still annoy me but I must say, I’ve learned a thing or two from mama Michelle. 

What I dislike and/or disagree with:
 – Overpopulation (really…what if we ALL had 19+ kids!?)
 – Making the older kids raise the younger kids…so much for being a teenager!
 – Not kissing until your married…really?  Who does that?  I can understand the moral argument or desire to be abstinent from sex prior to marriage, but what if this mate has rancid breath?  Totally intolerable, rancid breath.  Deal-breaker!! Hello!?!?
 – Stating in your vows that you will let the Lord determine the number and timing of your children (trust me, if said Lord had anything to do with choosing the families that are able to recreate over and over and over and over, I wouldn’t have a job.  Hmm…maybe he gives the guy with the high sperm count the rancid breath…that might work).
 – Never allowing your children (or exposing them to the opportunity) to meet people that are not like them.
 – The whole courtship thing – they don’t date, they mate.  They literally choose a person and then “court” them with the intention to marry them right off the bat.  I get not wasting your time but is it really a sin to explore the options?  Hell, you aren’t going to kiss them so what are you risking?
– Their house is a compound, complete with a cafeteria-style kitchen and laundromat.  I’m not saying it’s wrong, but it’s definitely not homey. Oh, and all of the kids have to keep the whole house clean.  I don’t think I ever see Michelle cleaning.  Probably hard to though, when there’s always a baby on your boob.  Or in your belly.  Or both.
– Did I just hear that they are looking forward to having more children?  After their latest, Baby Josie, almost died?  Michelle, you can’t hold them in past 24 weeks anymore…it’s still unknown if Josie will have lifelong health problems as a result of her extreme prematurity.  That vagina needs to be closed for business. 

What I agree with and/or admire:
 – They have NO debt.  None. 
 – Those kids are the most well-behaved kids I’ve ever seen.
 – It doesn’t seem like being on TV for so many years has changed them or compromised what they value.
 – The entire family has a positive attitude about everything.  All the time. 
 – Mom and Dad Duggar are madly in love with each other, and the kids know it because they show it.
 – The parents teach their children to carefully consider their reactions to situations that are out of their control.  This one is my favorite, so I’m going to go off on a tangent now.  Consider yourself forewarned. 

For example, what good does screaming at a vehicle that cut you off do?  It might make you feel better, but it makes everyone else in the car feel tense.  Is it necessary to do that in front of your child?  I think not.  What does that teach them about dealing with life when it doesn’t go their way?  Throw a tantrum.  (Forget the fact that people are absolutely loony and will not hesitate to bust a cap in your tailpipe).

Think about how often we overreact to the most insignificant things.  I’m as guilty as anyone else, but I’m trying to work on it.  I don’t want my kid to think I’m going to blow up if he screws up during his soccer game or spills kool-aid on the couch (bad example, he will not have kool-aid on the couch under my watch.  Ever).  I don’t want my mood or my reaction to make people (especially my family) afraid to approach me with unfortunate news.  I strive to be more understanding.  More patient.  More accepting. 

One episode of 19 Kids and Counting in particular got me thinking about all of this.  There had been an ice storm and the weight of the ice caused lots of limbs to fall off of a large tree and create a huge mess in the Duggar yard.  I remember the endlessly cheesy dad, Jim Bob Duggar, saying something along the lines that he could get really upset about how inconvenient it was to have to clean it up, but instead he chose to be thankful that they had the equipment and the ability to clean it up and that the tree didn’t fall on their home or injure anyone.  Hmm…good point.  I think at my house, we would have just complained.

Enough about the Duggars.  Here’s some comic relief after all that seriousness.  Whew.

Have a good weekend,
~C~

my mommy must-haves

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

Here are some non-essentials that I probably could have survived without, but wouldn’t have wanted to:

1. Sophie the Giraffe.  She’s a teether, she’s a toy.  She’s hours of never-ending joy.  I first saw/read about this teether on Dear Baby Blog and thought it was the cutest thing.  Then I read endless wonderful reviews about it on Amazon and decided to give it a try.  It’s true…babies love Sophie. 
2.  Motherlove Nipple Cream.  I call this a must-have because it saves me from unnecessary pain from the mean, mean pump every day.  It’s organic and natural so you don’t have to wipe it off before nursing.  The lactation consultant at the hospital told me about it and I think I paid about $15 for this tiny 2 ounce jar.  Worth. EVERY. Penny.  I’ve only used about 2/3 of it in nearly 6 months.  I would have paid any price for relief around mid-March, 2010.  Even if you aren’t pumping, it is soothing during those nightmarish early nursing days.  I like this stuff waaay better than the Lansinoh cream, which I found to be thick and sticky.

3.  Kiddopotamus swaddlers (AKA baby straightjackets).  We have swaddled Theo for nighttime sleep since he was a newborn.  He has slept through the night a couple of times without it, but I’m not looking forward to giving them up completely.  Without it, he flails his arms and wakes himself up.  I think it must feel like a hug…or maybe it just feels like someone’s sitting on top of him.  He’s currently sleeping with one arm out… we are trying to wean him from them so he can sleep on his belly if he chooses to, self-soothe, etc.  (He started sleeping through the night between 8 and 10 weeks with these!)  For our next wee one, we will be trying The Woombie to get away from all of the annoying velcro.

4.  The Sleep Sheep by Cloud B, also known as “Lamby” at our house.  And no, the “b” is not silent.  This tricky little guy has a battery powered speaker and you can select 1 of 4 nature sounds.  The sleep sheep comes in two sizes but I found the larger one to be too big.  One negative about the small one – it doesn’t have the mother’s hearbeat noise like the large one.  This thing is great for on-the-go sleeping.  It provides white noise to help distract little ears from non-home sounding noises.  It straps onto the carseat handle quite nicely too. I even used this sucker the other day for my nap to block the sound of the hubs doing his workout.  It worked like a *dream* (snort, snort).
5.  Cradle swing by Fisher Price.  Oh, swing.  I love you.  I don’t know what we would have done without this swing.  Actually, we still use it quite a bit but I’m afraid Theo is quickly outgrowing it.  He can sit in it and be quite content for a long time.  He often takes naps in it during the day.  Now he is big enough to play with the toys on the detachable tray so he can be entertained by it long enough for me to cook dinner or take a shower.  It was my saving grace during maternity leave.  In 12 weeks, he only cried through my shower 2 times.  It swings side to side or backwards/forwards.  Theo has no preference.  Thank you Fisher Price.  And Trisha, for giving me your swing. 

6.  The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp, MD.  This DVD is awesome.  The only complaint I had about it was that the hospital didn’t pass it out between pushes when I was in labor.  We didn’t get this until Theo was probably 6 or 7 weeks old, but Dr. Karp teaches parents how to instantly soothe and calm their babies.  It works.  I don’t know what else to say, but it works!  You have to try it yourself to believe it.  And thank goodness for the DVD format, because we sure didn’t have time (in the midst of all the incessant crying) to read a book.  (A book is available as well, but why bother?)
7.  Precious Planet Mobile by Fisher Price.  Because we are geniuses, we positioned our bed directly across the hall from Theo’s.  That means we can press the button on that nifty white and blue remote to restart this mobile without getting out of bed.  The base projects an image and lights onto the dome, which Theo loves to watch (and will do so for up to 40 minutes some days).  Other days, he will fall asleep watching the animals rotate.  At night, we press the little red button on the bottom, which sounds like a heartbeat, for white noise.  The mobile runs for 20 minutes then fades out gently.  The yellow button is classical music and the green/blue button in the middle is nature sounds.  Theo loves this Easter present from Grammy, but not as much as I do.
8.  What is important about these jammies is not the adorable pattern (we don’t even have these, I just found them online and thought they were cute)… it is the all-important zipper.  Never again will I buy infant jammies that do not zip.  Zipper jammies are soooo much more convenient than snap up ones.  Especially when your breastfed newborn poops 6 times a night.  On a side note, I do like how this specific pair is not footed.  Theo is especially in love with his feet at the moment and I think he would appreciate that feature!
And that is all I can think of.  For now….
~C~

healthcare and customer service in the same sentence. psyyyyyych.

Posted on by mommyinthemidwest

I’m fuming right now, so what better time to write a blog post about something that has been irking me for a long time?  I’ve been particularly irked since I got pregnant in 2009 and began the prenatal care routine, which included about a million doctor visits.

Is it just me, or is the healthcare industry the only one in which it is okay:

1.  For your client to wait for hours with no explanation as to what is taking so damn long (apparently our time is not as valuable as the doctor’s)….and then when you finally do see them, they spend about 3 minutes with you

2.  For your service provider to be a total jerk and say rude things to make you feel stupid or silly

3.  For your service provider to make you feel like a jerk if you hint about getting a second opinion (not that you could do that anyway, because insurance sure wouldn’t pay for it)

4. To send you complicated statements with secret magical codes stating you must pay an astronomical amount of money for something you don’t even understand (and p.s…. do it in the next 3 days or the next statement will have lots of stuff in red)

5. To charge your client for insurance, but then make them pay all but $4 on a $108 prescription (what a value! Thanks!)

6. For hospitals to charge 4x the retail cost for EVERYTHING (example:  Theo’s Soothie pacifier was $8.75 on  the detailed bill…they are 2 for $4 at Babies R Us.)

7.  To insist that you have a procedure, product, etc. that isn’t really necessary and have no clue how much it will cost

Where’s the customer service?  Really…what other industry can get away with this?  And we just take it because, well, we have to.

I’m not ragging on doctors or nurses.  You can find jerks anywhere you go.  Some mechanics are jerks.  Some waitresses are jerks.  The difference, though, is that if your car still doesn’t run right or your food takes too long, you get an explanation… a discount… an apology… and then they make it right.  To be fair, I think a good part of the problem is out of any individual doctor’s hands. The industry is just not set up for customer service.

That doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

~C~