Dear Dexter,

There’s this smartphone app called TimeHop…who knows if it will be around when you’re older. Every day it shows me a glimpse back at that day of each previous year that I shared something with social media. In the days and weeks leading up to today, I’ve so enjoyed looking back at blog posts from when I was pregnant with you 4 years ago. Life was filled with SO much uncertainty. Would we be able to handle life with 2 babies, just 14 months apart? We didn’t know anything about you. We didn’t know if you were a boy or a girl. You could have been Edyth June instead of Dexter Jay. Actually, you could have just as easily been Crosby Jay and almost were. We debated between Crosby and Dexter from the moment you were born until you were a good 4 or 5 hours old. It’s so weird to think about you being anything but a boy and anyone but our little Dexter Jay.

We didn’t know you’d have blonde hair and sparkly blue eyes or a contagious, constant, happy energy. We didn’t know you would have the laid back personality of someone who’s happy to be along for the ride, regardless of where we’re going. We didn’t know your laughter would make bad days better. We didn’t know you would find such joy in making other people happy. We just knew we already loved you and that love has only continued to grow and grow and grow.

We love seeing you look up to your big brother (except for those times when he’s not being a very good example – ha!). We love that you two are close. Buddies. We love that you love being around him. We love your big huge squeezy hugs and your sweet little tender kisses. We love that you made our family feel completely … complete. We love being together, the four of us, wherever the road takes us.

Before I had kids, I used to say that if I had 2 boys, I’d have 3 kids. I couldn’t imagine life without a daughter. Now that I have 2 boys, I can’t imagine life any other way. I can’t imagine a life without a house full of Legos and Batman toys or closets without holy jeans and dirty tennis shoes. I don’t want to imagine life that way – I know these things will disappear gradually.

You like to color. Every day you are gaining more control. You have surprised us with learning to write most of your name seemingly overnight! School has been a transition for you, but a good one. Your teachers have watched you grow. It’s hard to believe that a year from now we will be signing you up for Kindergarten. Poof! Just like that, the baby years are over. You still like Batman (a lot) but it doesn’t seem to be the obsession that it was 6 months or a year ago. You like heroes and the bad guys. You love water. Bath. Swimming.  You are scared of loud noises like the car wash, ShopVac, big trucks, hand dryers, and automatically flushing toilets. You will scream and cover your ears every time.

Lately we’ve been dealing with a dumb little medical issue. You are so scratchy! You have a common childhood rash on the back of your legs called Molluscum and you scratch, scratch, scratch it. And it gets infected, infected, infected. 2 weeks ago it got so bad that you ended up admitted to the hospital with IV antibiotics. Dexter! Honey! Stop scratching. Easier said than done, I know, and it wasn’t your fault. We are still working with the doctors to figure out how to keep this from happening over and over. But really, stop scratching.

We are all spending your 4^th birthday together. Not only do we get to be together, we get to be together at our favorite place ever! Walt Disney World! There’s nowhere we’d rather be and no one we would rather spend the day with. I hope we can find the Star Wars cupcake you’ve been begging for while we are there.

Dexy, I have a feeling this is going to be a great year for you. For our family. You and your brother have grown and changed so much. I like to just sit and watch and listen to you two plan. You have big conversations and big imaginations. There’s no 2 boys I’d rather mother. When I think about you, I think about how blessed I am. Even when it seems like everything is going wrong, I’ve got you to hug at the end of the day. Please don’t stop hugging back!

So much love – Happy 4^th Birthday, Dex!

xo,

Mommy